To: Laeril
Re: Going Fishing

A warm welcome to Writing.Com. I hope you're
finding your way around this bustling writer's
forum without too much trouble. If you're looking
for a place to hang your hat for a while, try the
Newbie Academy--a great source of guidance
and support for new members.

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Re "Go Fish" you tell a good story, Laeril.
This one is touching and a treat to read. Needless to say,
your clever response to Ryan's request for a certain
Scripture Mastery is the high point of your tale.
This one is bound to go down in your family history.
In addition to this tale, you share some important information
about yourself. It is nice to know you, Leril.

Best of luck with your writing. I look forward
to returning to read more soon.

All the best,

GabriellaR45

To: Netty
Re: The Gift of God

This is a lovely poem
written to introduce
the concept and
importance of a greater
power:

Stanza 1:
"The Grip of God
a moment of his
holiness rise above
my soul to commune
with him every day."

A suggested repair:
"rise" should be rises.

Stanza 2:
The Grip of God,
a moment of truth's
that abide in my heart.

A suggested repair:
Consider writing:
The Grip of God,
A moment of truth
that abides in my heart.

Stanza 3:
The Grip of God
call's to wordship
as the stars and universe
commune with his spirit above
the heavens.
(a lovely stanza)

Stanza 4:
The Grip of God
Let's abiding spirit of his love kept and to be found
in me, and is kept in his loving arms.
Suggested Fix:
May the abiding spirit of his love be sent to me
from his loving arms.

Thanks so much for your inspiration, Netty.
All the best,

GabriellaR45

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To: SkyFall
Re: Miniscule

A warm welcome to you, SkyFall. I hope you're enjoying your first
few weeks here on Writing.Com.

Riding around in a sub beneath the water sounds exciting, SkyFall !
Your descriptions of the sights you see outside the front windows of the sub are excellent.

I have to admit, after reading your story twice, I couldn't figure out if the eel was killed or something happened to the sub ? I hope you'll continue on to build on this story. It has real potential.

Bravo and all the best,

GabriellaR45

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To: Chris Breva
Re: Christmas Tree

This story is an exceptional one !
I decided to share it rather than critique it.
After all, we're celebrating the Christmas
season with this wonderful story.
I won't give away the story's ending.

This is a touching story in the old Christmas tradition,
celebrating the spirit of the season.
It centers around a very special
Christmas tree yearning to be purchased as the
few days before Christmas come and go without a sale.

Your story is masterfully written.
And, you capture the spirit of Christmas beautifully.
It's not surprising, this story has been nominated for a Quill Award.
(Pssst:I love the ending !!)

Thanks for sharing your Christmas Story with us.

All the best,

GabriellaR45

To: Jacky
Re: Turtle

Your story:

This is a delightful story, Jacky ! Your turtle is a determined fellow.
I can't imagine a flying turtle.
How fortunate that he noticed the stone wall.
He managed to climb up the rocks with relative ease.

I particularly enjoyed:

"Finally, he got on top of the wall! As he sat there, exhausted, he looked out over the woods. He could see home, he could see everything! He felt good, and all thoughts of flying had completely disappeared. Turtle had just found rock climbing!"

Thanks for sharing your delightful tale, Jacky.

All the best,

GabriellaR45

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To: Ska Rhodes
Re: Search

Welcome:

A warm welcome to you Ska Rhodes ! I hope you're enjoying this enriching writer's forum ! If you are looking for a group to help you navigate and learn, take a few minutes to check out this program.

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Having found this piece on Writing.Com's "Review a Newbie," I'm
getting ready to don my space suit to share your journey.

Before I dive in to your story, I have a suggestion for you, one I think you might want to consider. This glorious piece has been written with almost no paragraph breaks. I found myself getting bleary-eyed trying to read this large block of words. I suggest you go through this piece to break it down so the paragraphs are smaller and separated from the one another. This is a wonderful opportunity to draw attention to your writing.

Re your story: the dialogue is helpful. We learn that this 16-year-old
is making his way around a new planet, one that was only able to accommodate a small portion of earth's inhabitants. We don't know what happened to the rest of earth's population. I hope you are planning to write the next chapter to this story. This is a good beginning. Exploring a new planet has lots of potential. I look forward to reading more. Until then, I love the "The Charleston Chatters."

All the best,

GabriellaR45

To: Jeff
Re: Brooke

I found this tribute to Brooke in W.Com's "Read and Review." While this was written 7 years ago, I'm sure you'd say Brooke is the same person today as the wonderful, mult-talented woman you described many years ago.

I admire Brooke, and agree W.Com wouldn't be the same without her. She works hard to produce glorious challenges. Speaking for myself, I look at her writing a fair amount as a source of inspiration. You're right, she can write about anything, and, she never comes up short.

Thanks for this lovely piece, Jeff. I hope it remains in "Read and Review" for others to enjoy over time.

All the best,

Gab

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To: Winnie
Re: A Father's Love

This poem is beautiful, heart wrenching, and moving.
I found your note beneath the poem explaining your tribute.
While the poem doesn't reveal how this young woman died,
your note answers the question that every reader is
left with. I am stunned and saddened for you and
your brother. I hope they found the individual who
took her life.

Finally, and equally important, what a wonderful
transition you made from banker to writer.
While I chose this poem to read and review, I
read more of your work, and am happy to relay
what a treat it has been to visit your portfolio.

Thank you for sharing your beautiful work with us,

GabriellaR45

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

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To: Writing Walter
Re: Is That Love

I found this poem on W.Com's "Read and Review."

While I stopped to read this poem, I must admit,
I couldn't stop until I read your other poems
about love. I notice that you stopped writing in 2015.
I hope this doesn't mean you've given up on love.
As for this poem, I believe love is what works
for the people involved. I worry a bit that you
put your own needs aside for the love of your life.
Sometimes it's good for the other half to be in
the spotlight. At the same time, it's important that
the relationship isn't built around sacrificing at
your expense. I'm not sure that is a good way to
build a healthy relationship. Ok, so I said to each
his own. What works for you and your partner is
what is best.

Thank you for sharing your thought-provoking poem.
You tell us about yourself in the poems you write about
your romance. Your love for this woman is beautiful,
unpretentious, and unguarded.

All the best,

GabriellaR45
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