This was just fantastic. I mean, yeah, I could already see what was coming with this one, but it's still sweet. Congratulations on a happy and successful marriage. And what a fantastic way to celebrate it and share that joy with others. I love that emphasis on firsts, as that's something we don't always think about in that moment. Wonderful job!
Wow, this was some powerful stuff. I think the best thing about this one was the build up of this story. You gracefully constructed a narrative that slowly gave the readers a piece by piece explanation of what was going on. I always struggle in the show don't tell department, and I envy your skills at this right now.
First off, the title just grabbed me. Perseus and Medusa is just a really fun myth to tell. The tone of this story is just something else though. I like the mystery of it: that thrill that you're not entirely sure what's going on, but you know it's something big. My only criticism is just to watch out for those situations where you're using "i" instead of "I." Still, that paragraph that starts with "I drowned. I died." That was just phenomenal and probably the best part of this short tale. Nice work!
Hm, I've never seen you do prose before. And, I'm actually intrigued by this one. As always, you find a way to portray a message that I wasn't expecting, at least not with how you started it. I like how you turned it around by expressing that when tragedies happen, we don't have to forget, but we do have to continue living in their memory. Wonderful message to convey, and I wish we could see more of your prose writing.
Kind of a good amplification on the idea of spirits and ghosts. The personal element is nice, and makes the piece relatable to readers. I understand this was more of a moment of writing thoughts down as they happened, but I think some division of paragraphs or at least double-spacing could have worked in your formatting favor. Overall, this really has a good feel to it.
Nice! This is a well-done free verse on a particular animal. Now, my dad always had a fascination with snakes, so I like how you bring out both the good and bad regarding the serpent. The last verse was the most powerful, though. You really put together a good image of this bada** of the wild, and it works.
This was incredibly lovely. The rhyme scheme worked nicely, the flow was phenomenal, and everything about it just came together. What a wonderful way to honor our veterans. You really worked well with the material, and it shows how much time and effort you put into this piece. Well done!
Several things stick out to me about this one. First, I like how you separate the sort of "title" with a barrier. Good call, stylistically speaking. Second, even though you speak of body language being universal, if we read between the lines, we find it's much more than that. The bond of parenthood, as you have presented it in this scenario, is the unifying bond, more so than body language, I feel. Anyway, terrific job!
I like this. At first, I wasn't entirely sure where you were going to go with this theme, but then it all started to piece together. Really, the last stanza wasn't necessary, as your point would have been made in the fourth, but I like that you added it anyway because it suggests change, not just in how we see people, but how we see the world.
Certainly an interesting adventure into the unconscious part of the psyche, or even the Jungian Shadow, perhaps. Either way, this poem has a lot of potential. The word choices are just superb. Really good stretching of the vocabulary muscles you got going on there.
Oh, wow, this is such a brilliant idea! I've never seen anything done this way before. I mean, I was kind of expecting it to be the sequence done with the number of words, but to do it with syllables...that's incredible! Not to mention, probably tough. Props to you for really going the extra mile for it. It certainly gives the poem a different kind of rhythm, but I like it. Good work getting creative!
First off, I love these kinds of poems. They're just so fun to read. Second, I love the irony of it. Really needed a good laugh today. Got to say, just about every author's been there, and I like the light-hearted way you handle writer's block. Wonderful job!
Delightful and appropriate for the upcoming holiday. I like the exploration on the meaning behind red and then the follow up. Since you delved into the possibility of love being green, I was kind of expecting it to be an analysis of the full spectrum, but I liked the mention of love as a rainbow, given certain political connotations. It's a nice thought. But the end verse is rather well thought out and is a clever way to see it all.
Not bad, and a good way to get in the spirit of things. I actually like that you decided to go back to some of the ancient mythology and lore for this one, as that is a personal favorite topic of mine. Plus, how can you say no to using festive green print to really bring out the presentation? Nice work!
Oh how excellent! You know, And Then There Were None remains my absolute favorite of Agatha Christie's works. Modern thrillers today have her to thank. Anyway, yes, this was a great rendition of the idea. The very first verse was a bit similar to the original poem, but the others were really creative. Loved the last one. I think that was my favorite. You'll have to let me know when you come out with the novel. You have my attention.
This sort of reminds me of the filmographer who was recording the eruption of Mt. St. Helens in 1980, who died while doing it. Video survived, as I understood. Anyway, this was interesting, and I felt sorry for Lucy, the one voice of reason in all of this. Still, good cautionary tale.
Hm, I was kind of expecting a magical twist with the pudding and the magician, but you took this to a different level. The magic didn't just make her fat, it rewrote her entire past, present, and future. Nice twist, and I didn't see it coming. Sad, but makes a good story.
This is just...chilling. I'm not much of a Lovecraftian expert, but in the realm of gothic horror, this hits the nail on the head. Everything about this really worked for a complete story. It had a terrific build-up of tension, her dream-like state, the inhabitants of the village, it all made a nice, well-oiled machine.
Oh, haha, nice twist. I was expecting a more prolific "Twilight Zone" kind of a thing going on, but this was a much more pleasant surprise. And, were you really using Hal from 2001? Anyway, clever story, and I hope it goes over just as well in class as it did for me.
A nice little sequel piece, and I can't wait for more. Todd is a bit diabolical, but in a good way. He means well, for the most part. I kind of like how naturally every scene flows to the next one. You have a gift for that. Anyway, I can't wait to see the next part, and I'm thinking it may involve the soccer game?
A rather nice little short-story. The dynamics between the couple are pretty interesting, and what can I say, I'm a sucker for the ones who are oblivious to the gain. Since it does say "to be continued," I am hoping to see more of the relationship itself alongside everything else. Still, good work!
I don't know why, but this one's kind of fun. It almost sounds like a poetic version of a news report on flooding, at least that was how it read in the first stanza. I mean, the rest of it complimented that idea, but the first part was what made me think that it was like listing to a more interesting version of the weather report.
Actually, a pretty cute and sad story all at the same time. I'm not sure I'm such a fan of the switching to third-person for brief random intervals in between, but if it's what keeps the rhythm going, then so be it. I do really like having it from the cat's perspective as it gives an interesting take on the relationship between the man and the woman.
Interesting... Some good characters, an interesting conversation, a few well-used cliches, and you've got yourself a good hook to get more readers in. Maybe it was just my reading of it, but from the onset, I thought Peter was only a student and Liam a higher up of some sort. Kinda surprised when I found out Peter is the older one. Anyway, good job!
Oooh, really deep. Don't know why, but I really liked the third stanza. Maybe it's because I'm a Gnostic and it evokes the sense of Sophia. Either way, it was very nice. The images you create with each stanza are powerful on their own, but together, they work in harmony. Nice work!
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