I enjoyed your story very much. I felt I was drawn into the scene little by little as I wasn't quite sure where it was going and then it "hit me". Being a fan of Victorian fiction, romance I found this quite delightful with a nice little twist. Devilishly clever.
Keep writing; I like your poem and can see the confusion as you look in the mirror. Chivalry is just hiding behind the mirror waiting for somebody to look for it! I read your profile and would like to encourage you to continue to write and write. Thank you for sharing!
Although you said that your story is a work of fiction, it is extremely close to reality. Childhood cancer is so cruel and so painful; I hate to see a child suffer so. A very good story and so emotional. Thank you.
This was very interesting! I like the character and an intriguing co-existence. Is she a maligned spirit? I think if you flesh out her personality a bit more. I am not normally a sci-fi fan (books, that is. Movies, yes.) but I think your character has potential. Love/hate relationship? Good job, no obvious flaws. Thank you!
Yes, I did enjoy this and you raised questions that sometimes I ask. Your poem rambled and moved across many lines of life, the questions we get going in our mind does keep us moving in circles. Thanks.
Well, I enjoyed your little short short story! How funny and how creative to take some simple little thing - Samantha - and make a delightful little story that made me giggle. Life is too short to take seriously. Thank you.
Oh, this was too funny! I really enjoyed reading this. Only one suggestion is that you might flesh out the "live" Martindales a bit. Good ending; love that song too!
This is very nice. I enjoyed reading this, and could see through the eyes of both the boy and the man. It is very reflective and touching, almost a lonely feeling.
What an interesting twist to Little Red Riding Hood. Only one small capitalization problem, that I see: "When red realized that her blood.." Proper name. Nothing else stands out! I loved the story; it pulled me in and kept me going to the end. Thank you.
This is a very touching story; it brought tears to my eyes. I had a friend who was a nurse and recounted similar instances, when the soul leaves there is a beautiful peace. I really like the first person account, it makes your story more real and emotional. Thank you.
I really like this! It is beautiful, deadly and is extremely visual for me. It almost seems like an intense, sexual release (maybe I am way off), but it builds to a great release (conclusion). A death. the little death. A climatic ending. Very nice. Thank you.
A very fun read! I could hear the rhythm and enjoyed the rhyming; and see the little boy in motion. Poor Mom and Dad, frazzled but delighted (?). Poem is fast moving, a lot of action. I think this would make a very nice picture book for little ones! (I can see our librarian reading it to our Story Time kids!) Thanks!
What a nice tribute to your grandmother and you are a fortunate person for recognizing how strong a person she is; I believe she has passed that strength on to you! I really enjoyed reading this and it is apparent that you are proud of her. It is clear; easy reading, as though you were sitting here talking to me. A good read! Thank you;
How precious are the poems your mother penned! She creates an emotional, visual work - "like a beautiful
symphony being played, holding the audience spellbound" - is particularly evocative. She expressed in the conclusion of the poem, the knowledge that all living things come to the same end. Very touching and very nice. Thank you.
I thoroughly enjoyed your story. I assume the setting is Arizona and the second sentence is very descriptive. I could see the shimmering heat - I like the reference to silk. The story has a neat little twist to it; completely unexpected and really made me smile. How ironic! The female! Thank you!
Thank you for the nice poem; I really liked the closing and the encouraging end. The rhyming is nice and you gave much thought to the construction of the poem.
Ah, but your poem is so hopeful! I think you catch the mood of the season, at first joyous and bright and the generosity that sometimes only comes during the Christmas Season. You are correct that the joy comes to a slow, grinding halt, but you have a nice, hopeful philosophy in the end. Thank you very much.
What a wonderful little storoem and lovely little child who sacrificed everything to help someone else. A real heart breaker in this one. There are few 10 year-olds today that would do this. The reader must assume that she died and went to heaven; all good and perfect gifts come from above. I've not read anything called a storoem and realized that there was some rhyming in the 'story'. I suppose it is how one reads it, but could easily be a short story too. Very nice and very touching.
I thought this was great! Very entertaining and I thought the ending was quite nice. I have a "Ralph"; been in the family since 1976. First my Grandpa's; then my Dad's; now it's mine. We do become attached to our vehicles, don't we? Wonderful read and a real perk-me-up on a gray December day! Happy Writing!
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