I think you did well on this poem. It was easy for me to follow the ideas expressed through the verses. It appeared vivid, quite descriptive and well inspired.

Remark: In the first line of the second strophe you wrote:
"Clouds rise up a down"
I think you wanted to say
"Clouds rise up and down"
If it is not, that's OK. Just explain it to me.

After all, I appreciate it. Clouds it's also a source of inspiration for me while fixing them, specially, the moon night.

Keep writing!

Well welcome between us dear Newbie. Consider this place(writing.com) as a second home.

This is an original way of writing, I have to say. I see that you use the "Â" character a lot in your fiction piece. Is it a code or a kind of alien communication used by them in your work.

Thank you of making the choice of me as a reviewer of your work.

At the beginning, I have to say that it took me times before having a clear idea about the entire story but this doesn't mean you didn't do a good job! I had to read it more than three times .
And from that, even if you don't want to give a lot of details about what was at the basis of this "Facebook war", personally I recommend you to do so. Somehow, there's a way you can try to incorporate "the main reason of that war" without impressing the private, personal and family side. It will help the reader a lot with understanding and being able to share the same feeling as it was for you.

Also, you can break the entire story into paragraphs. It will be beautiful for the eyes to admire.

Instead of placing the message sent by your sister and the lyrics to song at the end of the story, you could add them right after where you're referring to them but in a different format than the original story(maybe Italic, colored, different size).

So as a resume, I enjoyed reading your work regarding your personal experience. In fact, it is not easy to convince people and more difficult it could be when you're trying to do it with beloved family members while they're doing it otherwise. I think your faith in God help you pass that situation ahead.

Be an angel for us too(members of WDC)