I really liked the flow of this poem. It carried from beginning to end a lot more smoothly than the previous one. Great metaphors, ie. "familiar armour". Again good use of repitition with "remembering".
I liked the use of repitition and the way you tied it all together in the end. Sometimes the language didn't seem to fit the mood, ie. "No, it's worse". It seems too casual for the gravity of the poem. The first line doesn't grab me - maybe a little too obviuosly stated. Hope this helps.
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/gumonfire
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 11:32am on Mar 16, 2026 via server WEBX1.