fI like your poem. This Free verse says a lot in limited words, a good sign of poetry.
It has an air of dignity and pride. It was a pleasure to read something positive. a lovely tribute to veterans of all ages.
Hi, I found this in Read & Review.
It plays with colors, shadow and light. I like that. Excellent job of capturing memories, maybe fleeting or blurry.
My favorite line was "that burnt orange orb".
I hope you did well, if this was for a contest.
Ok, you got me. I didn't remember a villanelle. I had to look it up. I had already noticed your rhyme scheme, so I knew you met the requirements when I read them. In fact, you met all the other requirements for a villanelle. (I didn't notice until later that you referenced it with a drop down note. I've been educated a bit.
The imagery is consistent and mystical. Great job.
Hello.
I liked your poem. Great imagery, It truly depicts a spectacular display. good word choices. Brings to mind a few pageants I've seen, including the mall in D.C.
I found no errors, no recommendations. Thanks for giving a reference to the rondeau; it was helpful.
From read & review.
I read it several times. I was ok until that last line. I wanted that dive to be perfect or almost. "Oh No!!!" scared me. Did the poet die or become severely injured or just disappointed in his performance?
I think breath should be breathe. I see you just wrote it, so it just needs editing.
Good description. Good poem.
The “hanging line” caught my eye. I thought of ropes and lunging. But I digress. Good poem, so true. I’m sure we could add more verses. Thanks for posting this week.
Ok, a delightful Halloween poem that isn't sing-song-y like many seasonal poems. I enjoyed it. I didn't notice any flaws or possible changes. The imagery is good. It was a well chosen title.
Nice job.
Found this on Read & Review.
It's bouncy and cheery. The form suits the mood and contributes the gladness of the changing seasons. The only thing bad about spring is pollen, which is necessary for nature, but not our sinuses. In my region, spring is too short. Cold weather turns to too hot way to soon.
Technical aspects: the rhythm is a little bumpy. Otherwise, good mechanics are employed.
Well done.
Hi, I am reading this poem out of season because it came up on Read & Review.
It paints a realistic picture of a town or subdivision on Halloween. It brings to mind that in this modern, high tech world, we still have a throw back to simpler old world traditions. But I digress.
Nicely written. A lot of money and forethought go into celebrating this holiday, and you captured an image of that without getting didactic.
I have no corrections or suggestions. Good job.
I understand the point of view. A person wants to help someone down on his or her luck. It could be too much to handle; the homeless person could be lying, playing the system, or off balance. I have known such a person, who simply couldn't be helped.
Your poem was well done, proofed very well, and maintained interest.
Hi, a casual review here. Wow. Your protagonist is a little scary. So much anger you've portrayed, with no remorse for the consequences she discovers, presumably hours later. Adding the dog in was a great touch. It felt like just the beginning of a deeper, more prolonged story.
I find nothing to change.
Hope you did well in the contest.
This is aptly titled. Very well written. You keep the 7 syllables per line. The rhyme is consistent throughout. I liked it very much. I wouldn't change a thing.
Good going.
I certainly felt the turmoil and the wave of change in the crowd. The brevity shows how quickly things can change.
I have no suggestions for change, and I find no errors. Good job. Hope you vented adequately. I'm not into sports, but I have seen others experience outrage as a spectator. Love and loyalty turn into hate in a heated rage.
Well done.
Hi, I found this on read & review. Very unusual approach. We don't think of books as having personalities or feelings. This one begs for attention. You told us what to expect in the intro, but I'm a little slow. I took it metaphorically, so I had to read the part about the spine a couple of times to "get" it. I'd say nicely done.
It's not just the content of the book, but the book itself that calls to us. I liked it. No complaints, no suggestions.
Just a random review. I find no errors or complaints. No suggestions for improvement.
Very interesting story. The only thing that might be missing is a mention of who enters this Olympic event. Is it inter planet? Obviously, it is not restricted to "Earthers", so why weren't they aware of a possible deviation?
Interesting read, no matter what.
Good job.
Hi, just browsing. I liked your story. All too familiar a situation. Good flash fiction and you used all the prompts.
I see no changes to be made, no suggestions.
I could relate to a DIY kind of family and broken things. I can't stand to throw things away, if only I knew how to fix them! Nice job.
Pumpkin
Very interesting. I liked the ways the tables are turned. The woman is in a rush and giving orders. The man is the one exercising caution and compassion for the toddler.
Good flash fiction. It kept me reading to figure out what was going on. I have no suggestions of complaints. I'm guessing this would be very good if extended.
Cute story. So believable, so real. Families and nature are both confusing.
This was pretty good flash fiction. I have no recommendations or criticisms.
Thanks for sharing.
From Read & Review.
I found your poem sincere and moving. You had a consistent rhyme scheme. I have no suggestions for change, no corrections. You put it in the proper category.
Best whishes.
Hi,
I'm sure you know this is highly emotional and brings tears to the eye of the reader. It is easy to identify with the parent of the deceased and the recipient at the same time.
The only recommendation I would make is strictly visual. For older readers like myself, a larger font would make it easier to follow. I like the way you centered the last part, bringing it all together in conclusion.
Nice job.
I loved your poem. It brought tears to my eyes. The closest friends are made real after a horrible torture and death. You have allowed us to feel their grief and remorse, their lostness. Very good job.
Thanks so much for sharing with us.
Found you on Read and Review.
Wow. Good story. It kept me spellbound, waiting to find out what was going on. Then the godfather part took the story on a comical turn. But you stayed with it and kept your characters acting normally.
It ended very nicely. The only thing missing is we don't know if Alex was afraid of Tomas or had kindly feelings for him. Nevertheless, Tomas had been a moral guidepost for him.
I saw no errors and have no suggestions.
Well done flash fiction.
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