Hello there. You give wonderful, detailed descriptions. Almost immediately, there is a sense of sadness. I see no errors in grammar, spelling, or such. It sounds like the room of a child who is ready to leave childish things behind.
Good going. Keep it up.
Hello, very nicely done. I could relate to it. It inspired me. Not only do I recall old friends that I would love to see, it occurred to me that many old acquaintances I do not want to visit or engage in conversation. You captured feelings in the present and the past.
I enjoyed it very much. No suggestions.
hello. I found this lovely poem. It is filled with joy and anticipation. You establish the sense of longing, but never get preachy or didactic. It is free verse, and I find no errors or grammatical improvements. It sounds like lyrics to a song.
Keep writing this positive, uplifting kind of verse.
From today's Read & Review.
A nice short story with a surprise ending. I didn't see it coming. Nicely done.
The third paragraph has a run-on sentence. Try a period after good and make a new sentence starting with frankly. Change the word that, since you've talked about feeling good, to business or something to that effect.
Enjoyed reading this.
Found this in Read & Review. My response is to help, not criticize. Please do not take offense,' By starting with "Not only . ..", I feel like I'm in the middle of something. What came before this started? Maybe if you started with "Freedom Beacons include", then make the list that you have. This is just a suggestion.
"As sell as defend" is redundant since that is standing up for. After the sentence about people making sacrifices, "it's" is not clear. Another suggestion would be a little repetition, such as "Freedom is not free". Make a period, then start a new sentence with "It isn't . . ." The last sentence is an incomplete sentence. Maybe "Some believe in freely . . .". Put a comma after everyone, since you're qualifying the everyone. The last part seems a bit over emotional; I get what you're saying, but in writing, it needs to be clearer. Instead of beliefs, maybe you could say hatred or indoctrination. It is important that you seem like the voice of reason and logic.
You might break your thoughts up into two paragraphs, just to make it easier to follow.
By all means, keep writing about your feelings and perspective. This is a good place to practice expressing your thoughts clearly without emotional responses like you would get on Facebook or other social media. Your voice is important and should be heard with respect.
Keep writing. Best wishes. I noticed no spelling or typo errors.
This was on Read & Review. Thanks for sharing. The poem tells the story of natural growth, and hints that it is like human life. I like that the reader must draw the conclusions; you don't spell it out. It reminded me of a college professor who said the seasons were like our ages. She claimed that autumn, the harvest time, was like middle age. The greatest beauty and bounty were found just before the barrenness of winter and old age. In this case, rotting fruit if no one picked the harvest. It made me hopeful that productivity and beauty don't have to end with age.
I saw no technical problems.
Very good job.
Hello,
Good story on Read & Review. Anyone who has tried to return something can identify with this situation. You make it sound funny, even if trying.
One thing I noticed right off: in the 5th paragraph from the end, you wrote "fires works"; I believe you can drop the s from the end of fire. I would also put a comma after Da da, to indicate a pause like you would have in speaking.
Well done.
This was under Read & Review. How clever. I can see kids being spellbound by this. The repetition is great. I enjoyed reading it myself.
No complaints, no suggestions.
Happy New Year to you and lots of writing!
Reading this certainly brought to mind the words of Shakespeare in "Shall I Compare Thee to A Summer's Day?, when he wrote These words give life to thee". The writer does have a certain power. His or her obsession with a love object does direct the shape of things to come.
You wrote very clearly. I saw no faults in grammar or other technical aspects.
Good essay. Could be used in a writing class.
Hello, I came across this under Read & Review. The story is interesting enough. The author raises good questions A he wrestles with his conscience. However, he leaves a few questions unanswered, like why a group "had planned my sister's murder", even though she was only 5. Was it really a plan that went awry and killed her by accident? We aren't told.
There are several technical problems. In the first line, I believe sisters should be sister's, and that murders should be murderers. In the next sentence I would leave out the word had, otherwise it sounds incomplete.
The second paragraph should begin with Ever, no y.
The last paragraph might sound better if it read "I owed that group a debt," then continue as written. Put a comma after this to get a pause before right.
An intriguing story. I see you just wrote this, so you may have not had time to edit. You can do that now before anyone else sees it. Always edit before submitting. I usually edit again after submitting.
Hello, I found your poem under R&R. It was lovely. I find no technical faults, and have no suggestions. It did make me wish I could listen to some of those stories or read some of them. Scenes from old black and white movies flashed through my head as I read your words.
Very good job.
Hi.
I found this under Read & Review. It's so true. You've have done an excellent job.
I do think the third line should have a hyphen between mirror and like.
As we age, we tend to dread what we see in the mirror, but can't stop looking. You've captured that real experience very well.
Hello. I read your poem and enjoyed it. It had an air of nostalgia, of being grateful for pleasant memories of childhood. And then I noticed the title and felt confused. Elegy made me think something or someone had died. I had to reread it. It finally occurred to me, I'm slow, that the poet misses dragons and mermaids, It made me think of Wordsworth who felt the innocence of childhood was our most alive time.
I noticed no technical errors or suggestions. It is splendid as is.
Thanks for sharing.
Wow. I admire what you did with the diamond shape. Fitting all those letters so perfectly, while still making sense and paying tribute to a gem, is remarkable. I find no fault, no suggestions. It looks and reads great! Excellent job. You are a master of words.
Hi,
This is a nice story. I just have a few technical items.
The first use of the fairy's name is "Daily". That's a typo, and you can edit it before anyone else sees it and comments on it.
Towards the end, there are a few grammatical things, like "awarded wings that" and then you end the sentence with a preposition. You have several choices. One could be ""wings with which she learned to fly" or "wings that enabled her to learn flying." Something like that.
The last thing I'll point out is that in the last sentence, the comma goes after the quotation marks, not before.
I see this is relatively new, so you can edit as much as you like, unless it was for a contest. After the contest judging is done, you can change anything you like.
Keep writing happy stories. You didn't mark this for children's lit, but you might add that category and get a larger reading audience.
From Read & Review: I found no technical errors and have no suggestions to clean it up. I thought the story was great. It had a surprise ending. I expected the old lady to be Gina. Although, you never say, one is lead to believe it is a guilt-ridden Molly who never knew the whole story.
Overall, I thought it was an excellent story.
Hello, I liked your story. It reminded me of train rides I've taken, none so pleasant as the one you describe.
Technical aspects: Everything looks good.
The way the story unwinds, one is lead to believe she is dying. She's revisiting her past, seeing the people she "has loved and lost". It gives this feeling of peace and warmth. Eleanor's death, if that is what's happening, is comfortable and rewarding. It could be expanded into other things, like a coma or some new dimension, but it is fine as it is.
It was interesting and full of possibilities.
Pumpkin
This was on R& R. Very imaginative. So real, I could envision the action on the screen, the stark contrast in colors. You captured the odd way he put his sentences together, so it sounds real, too. It's amazing how it is so familiar to so many people almost fifty years later!
Good job.
this was under R&R today. I liked your poem, well written, concise. It says a lot in just a few words. The last stanza is the best.
The only thing I would question is the second sentence in your intro/header. It is the voice of doom and gloom, prevalent in every generation that has ever been on the planet. I would stop after the first sentence. It fits with the poem which points to the author's attempt to live on a higher moral plane.
Keep writing.
Found this on Read & Review.
It was great. No faults, no suggestions. At first I thought the subject had passed away, but then you made it clear, she grew away.
It was very powerful. Thanks for sharing.
Welcome to WDC. Happy writing.
From Read and Review. This is indeed an emotional poem, a little nostalgic, maybe remorseful. Between the lines I detect anger and regret.
Your rhyme is fine. The rhythm could be a little smoother, especially in the 3rd stanza. I would have liked a little punctuation, like a period at the end of a thought. That would indicate a pause or a breath when reading out loud, and help sound out the rhythm.
Overall, the thoughts and images are clear. Good job.
I liked your poem. It was funny. And it seemed too real. We only get that stuff out once a year. We didn't have rats, but we stored stuff in the attic which gets too hot in the summer, and things ruin.
A good stiff drink might be the best part of decorating each year.
Found on Red & Review.
This was quite different and unexpected. It was very entertaining. I enjoyed reading it. I found no flaws in spelling or grammar. I noticed the lack of punctuation.
A nice little story. Keep it up.
Regards,
Pumpkin
Hi there,
this was under read & review.
I don't know how you did in the contest, but I thought your poem was very cute. It's a very clever take on what may have happened to Mary and her lamb as the years went by.
I find no errors or suggestions. Good job.
Pumpkin
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