Good attempt although it is a prologue so maybe you need to save the description of him for a later chapter. Describe him a little but don't give too much away
Wow this is good and I can't wait to read the next chapter. I gave you a three point five because there were a few mistakes in there. Other than that you kept me going and I can't wait until the next chapter
Wow this was awesome and it makes you think too that the world would be better off without technology but sadly everyone is the into the latest electronically device and the latest technology that they have forgotten that there are more things out there than just technology/ I loved this and I am going to share it on my facebook page for everyone to read. I also think that you need to get this published too because I think it will be a best seller.
Great read although I would have liked to know where that sound came from and what it was. But other than that I could picture the apartment being a mess as you tried to find it. Had me smiling. Great job
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/hjohnson79
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.18 seconds at 7:29am on Sep 30, 2024 via server web1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
