What a nice thing to write about your mother. I hope she has a chance to read it. I didn't see this piece as so much of a story but more of an article about a daughters love for her mom. There is nothing wrong with that at all. The same thing said in a story might be to go into gretaer detail about a fight you two have and then the process you go about forgiving each other to discover how much you both really love each other. Thank you for writing and good luck.
You know why I like this poem? I like it beacause it rhymes. I know that critics think poems don't have to rhyme they think that great poetry has to throw images out there. And yes, they do have a point. But someone who takes the time to make it rhyme is OK in my book. And how many times have I wished I could start something all over again? Great stuff, thanks for letting me read it.
I think this poem had a two fold purpose. One was to celebrate your child. The other was to help you get back into writing. I think you have accomplished both goals. I'm glad your writing again and hope you and Bri have a good time discovering the words to put together to make a great story. Thanks for the read.
I like the subject matter. Seems like everybody will tell a little white lie from time to time to make them selves look better in another persons eyes. I don't know who Hakeem is. So that reference did nothing for me. But over all I iked the way you made me think about the subject of fakeness. Thanks for letting me read it.
Just a great story. Baseball has always had scandal and it always just keeps on going. The part about your story I liked the best was your mom taking you to your first game. The part I like about baseball is how beautiful the ballparks are once you get inside. Thanks for a great story.
Really strong writing. The hard emotions of defiance just shoot all over the place with every word you wrote. I think everyone has felt a bit powerless against authority at one time or another so your words give people a look at how you can turn anger into strength. I read it about 6 times and it just kept getting better.
I feel your asking the reader to go deeper into thought then they ever have before. As if the things you always listen to may have a magic to them if you can find it. That magic then becomes your Stardust. It is an optimistic piece of work that challenges people to go deeper. The only thing that confused me a bit was this. I thought I was alone in the poem. But then you use the word 'we' at the end. And I wasn't sure who I was with. But I like the poem. Thanks for writing it.
Could this be a trick? This touches a nerve with all. I like the way the poem relates nature to human emotions. I like the way love is personified by cupid. But most of all I like how I don't even know if this is a poem about love, or was it just a trick?
I can relate to this piece of writing because I have a hard time believing in love for all the reasons you mention. But your poem gives me pause to want to belive. So it was good to read and filled a void in my heart for a short time. And for that I thank you.
I'm sort of conflicted on how to review this. It is very good writing, and yet I wasn't sure if it was going for terror or "oh well another day with the ghosts" kind of thing. Maybe latter on some interaction with the ghosts, while Bob is away doing his all important job. Maybe the ghosts even end up helping Bob with his new job? Just a thought, good luck with it and thanks for letting me read it.
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