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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/hollymerry/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/13
Review Requests: ON
1,663 Public Reviews Given
1,717 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Honest and encouraging
I'm good at...
Proofreading for grammar, letting you know which areas of your writing work and which might be improved
Favorite Genres
Fantasy, historical, adventure, sci-fi
Least Favorite Genres
Murder, horror, erotica
Favorite Item Types
I’m happy to review all types of item
I will not review...
Anything with graphic violence, sexual content or profanity
Public Reviews
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a well-written and nicely paced story. You have a talent for descriptive details that make readers feel part of the scene. I like how you blend mundane details about Abigail's routine and life working in a hospital with exciting elements to build up the plot, such as Beatrice with her psychic powers seeing a patient has been murdered. The ending is a great cliffhanger as readers uncover that Abigail has been in hiding and now she has to face up to the ones she's hiding from coming for her.

I found the opening line sounded a bit forced as readers automatically know that when a story opens it marks the beginning of an adventure. I wondered if you wanted to swap the current opening line with this one as it caught my attention better: 'Change was in the air and Abigail could smell it, as clear and crisp as the change of seasons.'
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Review of Rosa  Open in new Window.
Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a well-written twist on the stories of Beauty and the Beast and Twilight. The story is described in a way that made me feel part of the scene using vivid sensory details. The characters and world building are good. My favourite part is the twist at the end where it’s revealed Rosa is a vampire too.
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
I love how you created an acrostic poem to spell out the names of your grandson - it's a wonderful idea to welcome him into the world. The poem is full of love and shows what a precious boy he is to you and all his family. There are some lovely images here of angels, sun rays and the tiny baby snuggled safe and warm in his blanket.
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Review of THE TUDORS  Open in new Window.
Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a great poem with a lyrical, rhythmic feel that places it half way between a pop song and traditional ballad. This tone suits a light-hearted and memorable take on Tudor history. The key events of each of the reins of the Tudors and their characters are conveyed with ease.
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is an amazing piece showing how angels can appear to guide us in our lives. The story of Brian’s experience is told in detail in a way that made me feel I was there learning the lesson too. The author is well versed in scripture and the piece sets the scene by giving an overview of what an angel is.
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Review of Foundling  Open in new Window.
Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a great, well-written story. I love the idea of a zoo for reviving extinct species, it is a fun notion I wish were true. The details of the zoo, staff and lives of the animals there are described in enjoyable detail. The discovery that the unusual animal hatched in the zoo and adopted by cat-like Manka is actually a dragon was enjoyable.
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a great poem which conjures up a sense of how apples look, taste and smell meaning it is a sensory delight anyone who enjoys apples can relate to. Some of the images were vivid and fun, like the idea of apples as red and round as Santa’s belly. It also draws on the Biblical connotation of apples and how healthy they are.
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a well-written and meaningful story in the style of a traditional fable. It is easy for children to understand and they would enjoy the goat characters. The lesson about not being a bully or apathetic to wrong is good to draw attention too. The society of the goats comes across well.
I wonder what will happen next. Does the bully who now repents his actions reform his ways and make it up to the small goats with kindness? Does he eventually get back the right to be chief by becoming a kind goat?
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Review of Unicorn Sig  Open in new Window.
Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a beautiful signature image! I love the comfortable looking blanket and saddle that the unicorn wears. The harness is lovely and especially like the effect of the tassels. I can imagine someone riding the unicorn and having lots of fun and adventures.
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
I loved the idea of a troll and princess loving each other as it's a nice twist to fairytales. This story reminded me of beauty and the beast with the hero being cursed and only being restored to their former handsome appearance when they seem to be dying by the princess kissing them. The relationship between Colleen and Davon was cute and I enjoyed the scene where she visits his cottage by the bridge, plays with his dog and sees pretty flowers in the meadows. Andre was mean and deserved to be thrown into the dungeons! I love your fairytale stories.
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
This is a nicely written and inspiring piece that foregrounds the importance of writing. It shows how writing can have a vital place in society today and how it can capture the spirit of our times. I liked the discussion of books related to other forms of media, like movies, and how writing relates to politics.
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Review of One Last Request  Open in new Window.
Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This poem is beautifully written and emotional - it brought tears to my eyes. You enter the thoughts of an elderly pet passing on with a compassionate touch. The poem would comfort many people on losing a beloved pet, I feel. I also imagine it was a comfort to you to write this as I find writing helps when I miss the first dog in our family.
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Review of Black Locust  Open in new Window.
Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
I love this story about Laura who reads minds, teleports objects and adjusts the temperature of the air around her. She is a cool character and having her having to hide her abilities is a great way to create tension as she goes about life as a normal teen shopping for a Hallowe'en costume.
The appearance of the thief was nicely handled with the fear building as her first attempt to disable him is thwarted by him pulling out another weapon and grabbing a child. Thankfully she focused her powers to defeat him.
There are some neat descriptions here e.g. 'turned the knife in the corpse of their friendship.'
The ending is great as we realise shopkeeper Ted knows someone in his shop has special powers but he isn't sure who just yet. It keeps readers wanting to find out when and how Laura's powers are discovered as they nearly were here.
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Review of Christmas Wreath  Open in new Window.
Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
A lovely couple of poems. They show how a subject about a wreath can be differently interpreted. The first poem is an emotional story about an army wife missing her husband at Christmas. Then in a lovely twist he returns home for Christmas after she thought him missing. The second poem is cute and festive and full of the joys of Christmas with children waiting for Santa.
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Review of Storm Music  Open in new Window.
Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem has an incredible sense of vitality and movement. Even the form of the lines mirrors the shape and movement of a tornado. I enjoyed the analogy between stormy weather and whirling thoughts. The use of imagery is beautiful and varies from fearful 'eddies of dust and debris' to brighter images of 'spring-green grasses.'
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
What a heartwarming Christmas story about the love of family and pets transforming the life of a sick girl. I loved Jade and wanted her to get well so it was nice to see her recover after so difficult a diagnosis at a young age. The miracle kitten, Hope, transformed her life and she got better and became an artist. The story has lovely festive details and was a fun read.
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Review of First Day  Open in new Window.
Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This story is well-written and enjoyable to read. It conveys a sense of comedy well and I laughed over the part where the main character only managed to mow one lawn after steering it disastrously, and the ending where the power gets knocked off in an attempt to perform a lamp assembly job that even a 'fairly intelligent monkey' could do.

'errands' is a little abrupt here, maybe make it 'ran errands' - 'I’d babysat, mowed lawn, errands.'
I'd also like a bit more detail about the damaged caused by the lawnmower disaster to make this part even funnier.
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is a dramatic, intense and romantic piece and I’m not surprised it was chosen to feature in the romance newsletter. The setting of the historic lighthouse was evocative and perfectly described. This interesting and moody setting made me want to read on and set the tone for this paranormal romance. Damian comes across as an attractive man with unusual features about him that create interest, such as his unusual coloured eyes. This made me want to read on to discover more and prepared the way for the revelation that he is a 150 year old werewolf who has been waiting to find a mate - Audrina. The modern setting and details that can be related to, like treating illness and shopping for groceries, keep the tale grounded and believable.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Well done on getting this wonderful poem published- you deserve it! It reminds me of children’s stories I read told in poetic for where kittens get up to naughty antics. I enjoyed the theme of witches and the appropriately witchy names of the kittens. This will surely appeal to children. The poem has a lovely flow and is an amusing piece that brought a smile to my face as I read it.
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
I loved this moving story about the love of a mother for her son. Abha sees Paavo as precious and would do anything to make him happy, including selling her hair to buy him a bicycle. Although short, this story immersed readers in Abha's world and packed in a lot of emotion. I felt so sorry for her trapped in poverty working with raw fingers on making brooms under the strict orders from her boss.
The opening lines captured my attention and summed up the key motivation of the story. You present Abha's thoughts in a way that is realistic and easy to relate to.


Here you have an exclamation mark and a comma, so one needs to go. Also, I wondered if you might just put 'He stomped away' afterwards as it's obvious this is the boss's speech from the quote marks: "Work faster!," he said and stomped away.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is a wonderful poem. The choice of words give it a musical feel and I felt drawn into the wintry scene. The family battling to survive in hostile elements was an emotive theme that drew me on. The poem reinforced the importance of faith and prayer as the father prays they will be able to get through the harsh winter. I like the air of mystery as we don’t know who the family are or when the poem is set, although to me it has a historical feel and made me think of America’s first Christian settlers.
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is a beautifully written romantic poem. It captures the mood of romance and longing for a time, place and person to return perfectly. Music can be very evocative so it worked well having it trigger a memory. Your choice of descriptive words make the Spanish bar come alive and sound a perfect romantic setting. The use off rhyming couplets worked well at adding to the musical effect.
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
I like the way you centred this poem on the character of the innkeeper’s wife. She’s often overlooked in art and writing relating to Christ’s birth, so I found it an original and interesting idea to narrate this from her viewpoint. The part where she is unable to sleep, hears angelic singing and wishes she had gone further to help Mary and Joseph rather than just offering them a stable was excellent. It is a sermon in itself as we often wish we had done more in Christ’s cause after an event so the feelings of the innkeeper’s wife are relatable.
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Review of Surprise  Open in new Window.
Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a tense piece that had me hooked as drama unfolds. Beaoul is a hell-hound who not only can speak but also has more emotional intelligence and empathy than most hell-hounds. Here, the sides with a woman who is held prisoner and helps her escape, even if it means Beaoul defying her mistress Mira Black. I liked the contrast between Mira complaining over a broken fingernail and the poor prisoner enduring horrendous torture as it shows just what a villain Mira is and how little she thinks of others. I'm interested to hear what a neutral Middle of Everywhen entity is.

You capitalised whispered here by mistake: out of here," Whispered the prisoner
There should be a full stop instead of a comma at the end of the dialogue here: You need to go," The woman gasped for breath.
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Review of The Dance  Open in new Window.
Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
I saw this piece advertised in the Fantasy unicorn theme newsletter. As a lover of unicorns, the magical incident that the grandmother relates to her grandchild enthralled me. Some of the descriptions, such as the unicorn hoofs sounding like the bones of the earth and the water so cold it burns like fire are incredible and original. The story was well-written and easy to follow. It may have been simply a tale to entertain a fanciful grandchild, except for the wonderful ending where the grandmother points to the nodule on her forehead that is a reminder of the time she danced with unicorns.
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