This review is just my humble opinion and is meant to be helpful, not discouraging.
I just read your wee poem, The Detective.
APPEAL:Those who like to read about detectives who protect and serve will enjoy reading this poem.
WHAT I LIKED:The way it made me feel.
HOW THIS TALE OR POEM MADE ME FEEL:A bit scared. A poor woman was viciously attack and may lose her loving heart to bitterness.
TITLE:Your title caught my attention and drew me in. It made me curious to discover what this poem was about.
FORMAT:This is easy to read and understand. The large font and a space and a half between the lines made it easy on my old eyes to read.
SETTING:You used a nice balance of imagery and well written words that made me feel as if I am there.
GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION:My editing skills are not the best in the world, yet I try my best to let the author know if something looks out of place, misspelled or missing.
Seems to be alright.
Great job.
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak
This review is just my humble opinion and is meant to be helpful, not discouraging.
I just took a peek at your images and signatures, and decided to take a peek at LHEOG Newsletter.
WHAT I LIKED:I love the bright colors and nature setting.
APPEAL:Those who love nature shall love this image.
The image matches the title quite well. The colors used are eye catching and appealing. The words stand out nicely against the background and do not block the image. The image is easy to see and I know what this signature is. You gave credit to the person who designed this signature.
Great job.
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak
This review is just my humble opinion and is meant to be helpful, not discouraging.
I just read your wee tale, The Eve of all Hollows (Introduction). That first paragraph grabs the attention.
APPEAL:Those who like to read about meeting mysterious stranger shall find this an interesting wee tale to read.
WHAT I LIKED:It sets up a mystery to be solve.
HOW THIS TALE OR POEM MADE ME FEEL:Curious to learn more.
TITLE:Your title caught my attention and drew me in. It made me curious to discover what this tale was about.
NAMES:Lord Dollfus Baffle pot -- I love this name. It brings a rather odd fellow to mind.
FORMAT:This is easy to read and understand. Did you intend for this to be centered?
SETTING:You used a nice balance of imagery and well written words that made me feel as if I am there.
GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION:My editing skills are not the best in the world, yet I try my best to let the author know if something looks out of place, misspelled or missing.
Seems to be alright.
Yet I found the following sentence a bit confusing. -- The well respected English lord had become the laughing stock among his colleagues, which now far from respect him.
I think respect needs an “ed” at the end, too.
POINT OF VIEW:I know who's point of view I’m in.
OTHER SUGGESTIONS:Please continue this tale. I would love to know what happens next.
Great job.
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak
This review is just my humble opinion and is meant to be helpful, not discouraging.
I just read chapter 1 of The Bifrost Bridge.
APPEAL:Those who like to read fairy tales may find this interesting.
HOW THIS TALE OR POEM MADE ME FEEL:A bit confused.
TITLE:Your title caught my attention and drew me in. It made me curious to discover what this tale was about.
NAMES:You used a variety of names for your character making it easy to keep track of who is who.
FORMAT:This is easy to read and understand.
SETTING:You used a nice balance of imagery and well written words that made me feel as if I am there.
DESCRIPTIONS/DETAILS:Silje comes across as a typical child, doing things when she knows better, then when they get into trouble run home for Mom and Dad to rescue them.
LENGTH:This first seems to be the right length, yet it seems my like a stand alone story than the first chapter of a novel.
PLOT:I’m not really sure what this fairy tale is suppose to be about. Toward the very end Molock says he’s going to get revenge on the kingdom for giving him a bath and fish to eat. Is this the story plot? What is this novel going to be about if it’s not about revenge?
GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION:My editing skills are not the best in the world, yet I try my best to let the author know if something looks out of place, misspelled or missing.
Seems to be alright.
DIALOGUE:The dialogue sounds natural. I know who is speaking without the overuse of dialogue.
POINT OF VIEW:I know who's point of view I’m in.
OTHER SUGGESTIONS: Great job.
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak
This review is just my humble opinion and is meant to be helpful, not discouraging.
I just read your wee tale, The Accidental Visit.
APPEAL:Those who like to read about making new friends will love this wee tale.
WHAT I LIKED:The kindness shown to a total stranger.
HOW THIS TALE OR POEM MADE ME FEEL:A wee bit sad for the Cedric who lost his wife. That brought a wee tears.
TITLE:Your title caught my attention and drew me in. It made me curious to discover what this tale was about.
FORMAT:This is easy to read and understand.
SETTING:You used a nice balance of imagery and well written words that made me feel as if I am there.
GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION:My editing skills are not the best in the world, yet I try my best to let the author know if something looks out of place, misspelled or missing.
Seems to be alright.
DIALOGUE:The dialogue sounds natural. I know who is speaking without the overuse of dialogue.
POINT OF VIEW:I know who's point of view I’m in.
Great job.
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak
This review is just my humble opinion and is meant to be helpful, not discouraging.
I just read your wee poem, The Chanters.
APPEAL:Those who like to read about voices whispering to one shall love this wee poem.
WHAT I LIKED:The question at the end.
HOW THIS TALE OR POEM MADE ME FEEL:It made me smile.
TITLE:Your title caught my attention and drew me in. It made me curious to discover what this tale/poem was about.
FORMAT:This is easy to read and understand.
SETTING:You used a nice balance of imagery and well written words that made me feel as if I am there.
GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION:My editing skills are not the best in the world, yet I try my best to let the author know if something looks out of place, misspelled or missing.
Seems to be alright.
Great job.
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak
This review is just my humble opinion and is meant to be helpful, not discouraging.
I just read your wee tale, In Dreams.
APPEAL:Those who like to read about death and murder shall find this an interesting wee tale to read.
WHAT I LIKED:The way the words paint a vivid picture.
HOW THIS TALE OR POEM MADE ME FEEL:A bit sad at the lost of love between the couple.
TITLE:Your title caught my attention and drew me in. It made me curious to discover what this tale/poem was about.
FORMAT:This is easy to read and understand.
SETTING:You used a nice balance of imagery and well written words that made me feel as if I am there.
GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION:My editing skills are not the best in the world, yet I try my best to let the author know if something looks out of place, misspelled or missing.
Seems to be alright.
POINT OF VIEW:I know who's point of view I’m in.
Great job.
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak
This review is just my humble opinion and is meant to be helpful, not discouraging.
I just took a peek at your images and signatures, and decided to take a peek at A Sig for Sandman.
WHAT I LIKED:The sig is a castle and makes the romantic in me wonder who lives within this magical place.
APPEAL:Those who like castles will love this sig.
The image matches the title quite well. The colors used are eye catching and appealing. The words stand out nicely against the background and do not block the image. The image is easy to see and I know what this signature is. You gave credit to the person who designed this signature.
Great job.
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak
This review is just my humble opinion and is meant to be helpful, not discouraging.
I just read your wee poem, Nightly Visitor.
APPEAL:Those who like to read about things that go bump in the night shall like this wee poem.
WHAT I LIKED:The poem describes something that gives one ngightmares without actually naming it which lets the reader‘s imagination conquer up what it might be.
HOW THIS TALE OR POEM MADE ME FEEL:a bit afraid to go to sleep.
TITLE:Your title caught my attention and drew me in. It made me curious to discover what this tale/poem was about.
FORMAT:This is easy to read and understand.
GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION:My editing skills are not the best in the world, yet I try my best to let the author know if something looks out of place, misspelled or missing.
Seems to be alright.
Great job.
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak
This review is just my humble opinion and is meant to be helpful, not discouraging.
I just read your wee tale, Retribution.
APPEAL:Those who like to read about evil souls getting what they deserve shall like this wee tale.
WHAT I LIKED:That the evil one got what was coming to him.
HOW THIS TALE OR POEM MADE ME FEEL:Glad the victims got their revenge.
TITLE:Your title caught my attention and drew me in. It made me curious to discover what this tale was about.
FORMAT:This is easy to read and understand.
SETTING:You used a nice balance of imagery and well written words that made me feel as if I am there.
GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION:My editing skills are not the best in the world, yet I try my best to let the author know if something looks out of place, misspelled or missing.
OOPS!
He saw his own image and in its raised hands was the same axe he used to behead his innocent victims before he peeled of their skins. -- I believe you wanted off their skins.
DIALOGUE:The dialogue sounds natural. I know who is speaking without the overuse of dialogue.
POINT OF VIEW:I know who's point of view I’m in.
Great job.
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak
This review is just my humble opinion and is meant to be helpful, not discouraging.
I just read your wee poem, The Path of Silence.
APPEAL:Those who like to read about love and companionship shall like this wee poem.
WHAT I LIKED:The way the words made me feel.
HOW THIS TALE OR POEM MADE ME FEEL:Happy and content.
TITLE:Your title caught my attention and drew me in. It made me curious to discover what this tale/poem was about.
FORMAT:This is easy to read and understand.
GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION:My editing skills are not the best in the world, yet I try my best to let the author know if something looks out of place, misspelled or missing.
Seems to be alright.
Great job.
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak
This review is just my humble opinion and is meant to be helpful, not discouraging.
I just read your wee poem, Concluding Thought.
APPEAL:Those who like to read about losing a grandparent shall find this heart warming and touching.
WHAT I LIKED:It‘s a tribute to your grandmother.
HOW THIS TALE OR POEM MADE ME FEEL:Sad. It brought tears.
TITLE:Your title caught my attention and drew me in. It made me curious to discover what this tale/poem was about.
FORMAT:This is easy to read and understand.
SETTING:You used a nice balance of imagery and well written words that made me feel as if I am there.
GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION:My editing skills are not the best in the world, yet I try my best to let the author know if something looks out of place, misspelled or missing.
Seems to be alright.
Great job.
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak
This review is just my humble opinion and is meant to be helpful, not discouraging.
I just read your wee poem, This Old House. BRAVO! I love it.
APPEAL:Those who like to read about spooky old, haunted houses will be thrill with this wee poem.
WHAT I LIKED:The way it made my skin crawl.
HOW THIS TALE OR POEM MADE ME FEEL:I felt all tingly inside as I read this poem.
TITLE:Your title caught my attention and drew me in. It made me curious to discover what this tale/poem was about.
FORMAT:This is easy to read and understand.
SETTING:You used a nice balance of imagery and well written words that made me feel as if I am there.
GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION:My editing skills are not the best in the world, yet I try my best to let the author know if something looks out of place, misspelled or missing.
Seems to be alright.
Great job.
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak
This review is just my humble opinion and is meant to be helpful, not discouraging.
I just read your wee poem, I'm A Vegetarian Vampire.
APPEAL:Those who like to read about vampires shall find this a delightful wee poem to read.
WHAT I LIKED:The different twist to the normal vampire poem or tale.
HOW THIS TALE OR POEM MADE ME FEEL:It made me smile and brightened my gloomy day. Thanks.
TITLE:Your title caught my attention and drew me in. It made me curious to discover what this poem was about.
FORMAT:This is easy to read and understand.
SETTING:You used a nice balance of imagery and well written words that made me feel as if I am there.
GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION:My editing skills are not the best in the world, yet I try my best to let the author know if something looks out of place, misspelled or missing.
Seems to be alright.
Great job.
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak
This review is just my humble opinion and is meant to be helpful, not discouraging.
I just read your wee tale, The Music Box.
APPEAL:Those who like to read about fond memories shall like this wee tale.
WHAT I LIKED:Your words paint a vivid picture.
HOW THIS TALE OR POEM MADE ME FEEL:Sad that the poor old lady didn‘t have anything left but her memories.
TITLE:Your title caught my attention and drew me in. It made me curious to discover what this tale was about.
FORMAT:This is easy to read and understand.
SETTING:You used a nice balance of imagery and well written words that made me feel as if I am there.
GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION:My editing skills are not the best in the world, yet I try my best to let the author know if something looks out of place, misspelled or missing.
OOPS!
It was April and the first day of the opera season. Miranda jumped out of bed with the enthusiasm of a teen, yet the movement was that of woman eighty-five years. -- you need an “a” after of. This is just one of many such mishaps that a good rereading shall catch. I have a bad habit of missing words or leaving letters off words. It happens to the best writers and the rest of us alike.
I’ve seen worse in published novels all the time.
Great job.
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak
This review is just my humble opinion and is meant to be helpful, not discouraging.
I just read your wee poem and image, Cloudscape 1.
APPEAL:Those who like to read about clouds and imagining what they hold shall find this a delightful poem to read.
WHAT I LIKED:The way the sun lights the storm clouds.
HOW THIS TALE OR POEM MADE ME FEEL:Full of hope.
TITLE:Your title caught my attention and drew me in. It made me curious to discover what this poem was about.
FORMAT:This is easy to read and understand.
SETTING:You used a nice balance of imagery and well written words that made me feel as if I am there.
GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION:My editing skills are not the best in the world, yet I try my best to let the author know if something looks out of place, misspelled or missing.
Seems to be alright.
Great job.
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak
This review is just my humble opinion and is meant to be helpful, not discouraging.
I just read your wee poem, Nightfall.
APPEAL:Those who like to read about nighttime and the wonders the night holds shall love this wee poem.
WHAT I LIKED:The way the words create a picture in my mind.
HOW THIS TALE OR POEM MADE ME FEEL:Excited about the night.
TITLE:Your title caught my attention and drew me in. It made me curious to discover what this tale/poem was about.
FORMAT:This is easy to read and understand.
SETTING:You used a nice balance of imagery and well written words that made me feel as if I am there.
GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION:My editing skills are not the best in the world, yet I try my best to let the author know if something looks out of place, misspelled or missing.
Seems to be alright.
Great job.
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak
This review is just my humble opinion and is meant to be helpful, not discouraging.
I just read your Prologue and chapter 1 to your novel, The Dragon, The Wolf and The Raven.
APPEAL:Those who like to read overthrowing an evil ruler shall find the beginning of this novel a pleasure to read.
WHAT I LIKED:I like the title. It hints at what the novel might be about without giving anything away.
HOW THIS TALE OR POEM MADE ME FEEL:Encouraged to try writing a new novel myself or going back and rewrite the six I have just lying around.
TITLE:Your title caught my attention and drew me in. It made me curious to discover what this tale/poem was about.
NAMES:The names suggest medieval times and definitely say elf and magic.
FORMAT:This is easy to read and understand.
SETTING:You used a nice balance of imagery and well written words that made me feel as if I am there.
GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION:My editing skills are not the best in the world, yet I try my best to let the author know if something looks out of place, misspelled or missing.
OOPS!
It was the Fire Witch who captured is soul and every intelligent man knows, when a virgin has your soul; it is time to leave. -- I believe is soul should be his soul.
" She is magnificent." grunting softly " and heavy." Pwyll gasped. -- I believe this should be written this way: “She is magnificent,” grunting softly, “and heavy,” Pwyll gasped.
Jackdaw saw the bonding, and thought, That's done, the bond is steal forged. -- steal should be steel.
"Who is with you?" asked Pwyll "This is my cousin Ekel, and this is my youngest son Makeen. -- this should be two separate lines and you missed the period after Pwyll. You also missed the quotation mark after Makeen.
"Who is with you?" asked Pwyll.
"This is my cousin Ekel, and this is my youngest son Makeen.”
"There has been enough bowing today already". -- period goes inside the quotation marks.
" No one who lives my Lord". The shadow of a passing cloud over the rising moon hid his sorrow.; -- the semi-colon needs to be removed.
" I do not know , I was banished back to our own lands as were all others on the counsel whom Gareth though loyal to you. -- though should be thought.
There are some extras spaces between words and punctuation in many place a reread shall catch.
DIALOGUE:The dialogue sounds natural. I know who is speaking without the overuse of dialogue.
POINT OF VIEW:I know who's point of view I’m in.
OTHER SUGGESTIONS:You might get a trusted friend or ask a member of WDC to proof read your chapters. If you’re like me, you’re to close to the project, knowing what you meant to say and overlook the tiny mishaps with spelling, punctuation and spacing.
Great job.
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak
This review is just my humble opinion and is meant to be helpful, not discouraging.
I just read your wee poem, THROUGH THE EYES OF ANOTHER.
APPEAL:Those who like to read spiritual poetry will love this wee poem.
WHAT I LIKED:It speaks from the heart and is full of emotion.
HOW THIS TALE OR POEM MADE ME FEEL:Full of hope, yet it brought a few tears.
TITLE:Your title caught my attention and drew me in. It made me curious to discover what this tale/poem was about.
FORMAT:This is easy to read and understand. The red draws the reader‘s attention and centering it gave this poem a bit of flare.
GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION:My editing skills are not the best in the world, yet I try my best to let the author know if something looks out of place, misspelled or missing.
Seems to be alright.
Great job.
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak
This review is just my humble opinion and is meant to be helpful, not discouraging.
I just read your wee poem, Dark Music.
APPEAL:Those who like to read love shall love this wee poem.
WHAT I LIKED:The rhyme and the images it conjures up.
HOW THIS TALE OR POEM MADE ME FEEL:
TITLE:Your title caught my attention and drew me in. It made me curious to discover what this tale/poem was about.
FORMAT:This is easy to read and understand.
SETTING:You used a nice balance of imagery and well written words that made me feel as if I am there.
GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION:My editing skills are not the best in the world, yet I try my best to let the author know if something looks out of place, misspelled or missing.
Seems to be alright.
Great job.
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak
This review is just my humble opinion and is meant to be helpful, not discouraging.
I just read your wee poem, FEAR THE REAPER (a Renge).
APPEAL:Those who like to read the grim reaper or death shall like this wee poem.
WHAT I LIKED:The way it rhymes.
HOW THIS TALE OR POEM MADE ME FEEL:A bit unnerved.
TITLE:Your title caught my attention and drew me in. It made me curious to discover what this tale/poem was about.
FORMAT:This is easy to read and understand.
SETTING:You used a nice balance of imagery and well written words that made me feel as if I am there.
GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION:My editing skills are not the best in the world, yet I try my best to let the author know if something looks out of place, misspelled or missing.
Seems to be alright.
Great job.
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak
This review is just my humble opinion and is meant to be helpful, not discouraging.
I just read your wee poem, Remembering. I love how it rhymes.
APPEAL:Those who like to read poetry will find this a delightful poem to read.
WHAT I LIKED:It quite moving and heartwarming.
HOW THIS TALE OR POEM MADE ME FEEL:a wee bit sad. It brought a few tears.
TITLE:Your title caught my attention and drew me in. It made me curious to discover what this tale/poem was about.
FORMAT:This is easy to read and understand.
SETTING:You used a nice balance of imagery and well written words that made me feel as if I am there.
GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION:My editing skills are not the best in the world, yet I try my best to let the author know if something looks out of place, misspelled or missing.
Seems to be alright.
Great job.
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak
This review is just my humble opinion and is meant to be helpful, not discouraging.
I just read your wee poem, Casting Stones.
APPEAL:Those who like to read poetry will find this an interesting poem to read.
WHAT I LIKED:The emotions it stirs.
HOW THIS TALE OR POEM MADE ME FEEL:A uncertain.
TITLE:Your title caught my attention and drew me in. It made me curious to discover what this tale/poem was about.
FORMAT:This is easy to read and understand.
SETTING:You used a nice balance of imagery and well written words that made me feel as if I am there.
GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION:My editing skills are not the best in the world, yet I try my best to let the author know if something looks out of place, misspelled or missing.
Seems to be alright.
Great job.
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak
This review is just my humble opinion and is meant to be helpful, not discouraging.
I just read your wee poem, The Haunting of My Love.
APPEAL:Those who like to read secret or dream lovers will adore this poem.
WHAT I LIKED:The rhythm of the poem. It moves it along at a nice pace.
HOW THIS TALE OR POEM MADE ME FEEL:It brought a smile to my face.
TITLE:Your title caught my attention and drew me in. It made me curious to discover what this tale/poem was about.
FORMAT:This is easy to read and understand.
GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION:My editing skills are not the best in the world, yet I try my best to let the author know if something looks out of place, misspelled or missing.
Seems to be alright.
Great job.
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak
This review is just my humble opinion and is meant to be helpful, not discouraging.
I just read your wee tale, Wee Davy.
APPEAL:Those who like to read about wanting to make themselves better and the challenges of starting a new life in a new country will find this an interesting tale to read.
WHAT I LIKED:It tells about a man and his dream for going to America.
HOW THIS TALE OR POEM MADE ME FEEL:Hopefully. That if one works hard enough their dreams will come true.
TITLE:Your title caught my attention and drew me in. It made me curious to discover what this tale/poem was about.
FORMAT:This is easy to read and understand.
SETTING:You used a nice balance of imagery and well written words that made me feel as if I am there.
GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION:My editing skills are not the best in the world, yet I try my best to let the author know if something looks out of place, misspelled or missing.
OOPS!
“ No, he’s needed around the house and to help work the land” -- you missed the point at the end.
WHAT I DIDN’T LIKE:This tale is told not shown.
OTHER SUGGESTIONS:If you want to tell your tale instead of showing it, it might work if you had someone telling the tale to others who ask a few questions now and then. Just a thought.
Great job.
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak
Ladybug
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Great job.
