This review is just my humble opinion and is meant to be helpful, not discouraging.
I just read your wee tale, The North and the South.
APPEAL:Those who like to read about the Civil War shall find this an interesting tale to read.
HOW THIS TALE OR POEM MADE ME FEEL:A bit disappointed.
TITLE:Your title caught my attention and drew me in. It made me curious to discover what this tale/poem was about.
NAMES/TITLE:You used a variety of names that set the characters apart from each other.
FORMAT:This is easy to read and understand.
GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION:OOPS!
1. Men marched behind him and front. -- I don’t understand this sentence. I understand the part of men marched behind him. The and front is what’s confusing me.
2. His sword lay waiting to be drawed out. -- drawed should be drawn.
3.'' Bentoville... '' He muttered. Now longer was he going to command any regiment, he'd be doing three battalions at once.
The Battle of Bentoville. -- You missed the “n” in Bentonville.
4. These men were obviously veterans, looking at their war torn faces, he nodded satisfied, plus aslo their masses were very in good range of disgruntling the Northerners. -- Also is misspelled.
5. The Union soliders bought their guns up to shoulder level. -- Soldiers is misspelled.
6. He said once the battalions had been drawed up. -- Drawed should be drawn.
7. Scores of Blue uniformed soliders fell done. Soldiers is misspelled and done should be down.
8. The Colonel's face was that off an agonised person. -- Off should be of .
9. '' Thats where our fortune lies men! -- That’s needs an apostrophe.
There are more mishaps that need fixing, too.
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The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak
This review is just my humble opinion and is meant to be helpful, not discouraging.
I just read your wee tale, The Angel Portalt.
APPEAL:Those who like to read mysterious things and magic shall find this tale a delight.
WHAT I LIKED:The happy ending. Most tales from Ye Ol Curiosity Shop stories end with someone else being trapped as the new shopkeeper.
HOW THIS TALE MADE ME FEEL:It made me smile.
TITLE:Your title caught my attention and drew me in. It made me curious to discover what this tale/poem was about.
NAMES/TITLE:I like the simple names you used for your characters.
FORMAT:This is easy to read and understand.
SETTING:You used a nice balance of imagery and well written words that made me feel as if I am there.
GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION:OOPS!
1. “I’m Alice and this handsome creature is Jaz." She rubbed the top of the cats head at her side. " So what type of Tea would you like? I personally recommend the Jasmine-mint combination. “ -- Cats needs to be cat’s. You need to remove the space between the quotation mark and the “S” of so, and do the same with the period and quotation mark at the end.
2. “Well, I don’t drink a lot of tea, would you happen to have a latte instead?”
Alice bounced away and Jaz trotted off behind her. She arrived back with within a minute’s time with two cups and some teacakes on a silver tray and a large book in her other hand. -- A space is needed between the statement from Julie and Alice bounced paragraphs.
3. “No-way. “ -- Remove the space before the final quotation mark.
4. The girl found out about the angels plans and was sad. -- Angels should be angel’s.
5. Then the curio with the Angel in it disappeared from the girls’ life and the little girl was free to grow up, leading a happy life.” -- Girls’ should be girl’s.
DIALOGUE:The dialogue sounds natural. I know who is speaking without the overuse of dialogue.
POINT OF VIEW:I know who's point of view I’m in.
Great job.
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak
This review is just my humble opinion and is meant to be helpful, not discouraging.
I just read your wee tale, the "The Lost Compass".
APPEAL:Those who like to read tales about self discovery shall find this a charming wee tale to read.
WHAT I LIKED:That Dave realized that his life had meaning even when he thought his life was going nowhere.
HOW THIS TALE OR POEM MADE ME FEEL:Encouraged.
TITLE:Your title caught my attention and drew me in. It made me curious to discover what this tale/poem was about.
NAMES/TITLE:Alice and Dave are simple names yet fit the characters quite well.
FORMAT:This is easy to read and understand.
SETTING:You used a nice balance of imagery and well written words that made me feel as if I am there.
GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION:OOPS!
1. If was as if he appeared there out of nowhere. How? -- He should be she.
2. “The rules state that I can’t sell two items at the same time to the same person,”
The white rule sheet magically levitated in front of his face as she spoke. The rule glowed on the page.
“but they also state” she continued.” that if someone is connected to an item, I must sell it to them.” -- You need to either put a period after person and capitalize but or move the two parts of the quotation together.
3. I also noticed that in several places a line was placed below the rest of the paragraph it went to.
DIALOGUE:The dialogue sounds natural. I know who is speaking without the overuse of dialogue.
Great job.
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak
This review is just my humble opinion and is meant to be helpful, not discouraging.
I just read your wee poem, Lornda, My Friend.
APPEAL:Those who like to read about friendship will love this poem.
WHAT I LIKED:It‘s written from the heart with lots of love.
HOW THIS TALE OR POEM MADE ME FEEL:thrilled to know you appreciate your friend, Lornda.
TITLE:Your title caught my attention and drew me in. It made me curious to discover what this tale/poem was about.
FORMAT:This is easy to read and understand. I love the use of color and that you centered this poem. To me centering and adding color give the poem some character.
GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION:Seems to be alright.
Great job.
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak
This review is just my humble opinion and is meant to be helpful, not discouraging.
I just took a peek at your images and signatures, and decided to take a peek at Unicorn Calling Card.
WHAT I LIKED:The mysterious hint of magic, plus the colors. Purple is my favorite color.
The image matches the title quite well.
The colors used are eye catching and appealing.
The words stand out nicely against the background and do not block the image.
The image is easy to see and I know what this signature is.
Great job.
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak
This review is just my humble opinion and is meant to be helpful, not discouraging.
I just read your wee poem, Remember me.
APPEAL:Those who like to read dying shall find this an interesting poem to read.
WHAT I LIKED:That dying isn’t a bad thing.
HOW THIS TALE OR POEM MADE ME FEEL:A bit sad.
TITLE:Your title caught my attention and drew me in. It made me curious to discover what this tale/poem was about.
FORMAT:This is easy to read and understand.
GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION:OOPS!
Remember me -- Me should be capitalized since it’s part of the title.
You missed capitalizing “I” several times throughout the poem.
Great job.
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak
This review is just my humble opinion and is meant to be helpful, not discouraging.
I just read your wee poem, the gleaming lights.
APPEAL:Those who like to read poem will find this an enjoyable poem to read.
WHAT I LIKED:That the reader loses take of time watching the gleaming lights and perhaps forgets all her troubles for a few moments.
HOW THIS TALE OR POEM MADE ME FEEL:It gave me something to thing about. That life‘s too short for just thinking about our problems. That once in a while we need to think of something else.
TITLE:Your title caught my attention and drew me in. It made me curious to discover what this tale/poem was about.
FORMAT:This is easy to read and understand.
GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION:
OOPS!
the gleaming lights -- In English class I was taught the title of a poem, story, etc. should be capitalized. The Gleaming Lights
Great job.
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it wishes! -- Janet Novak
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