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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/inny
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55 Public Reviews Given
62 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review by A to z Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
Mine either.
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2
Review by A to z Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
I would eliminate the telling segment, beginning with 'You'll know soon enough' and ending with 'I cannot'.

This passage jerked me out of the moment because it came across as an info dump. I assumed the condemned already knew the reason for their sentence. If not, then why the poisoned tea?

But that's just me.

Overall, an entertaining short.
3
3
Review by A to z Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Too many characters to keep track of in this short segment. Any way you might consider reducing it by half and introducing the other characters later? Seriously, I got lost with so many names being banted about so early in the tale.

As a first draft this concept is very good. Keep writing, you've got something here!
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4
Review by A to z Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Wow, this is great. Love the perspective.

This is the first chapter I've read...has his father passed and he doesn't realize it?
5
5
Review of Pool of Humanity  Open in new Window.
Review by A to z Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Nice 👍
6
6
Review of Armature  Open in new Window.
Review by A to z Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Excellent piece!
7
7
Review by A to z Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Actually I, and a few hundred others, saw something large hovering and still in the sky one night in the late 90's. No photo was ever produced and Fort Drum claimed not to have seen anything on their radar. 911 blew up with calls, though...
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8
Review of The Missing Arm  Open in new Window.
Review by A to z Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Okay, I'm smiling here.

A nice short humorous piece.
9
9
Review by A to z Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Creepy and funny.

Neat how you had me thinking it was a man cutting down a tree and then whap! - flinging ME into the opposite scenario.

Well done.
10
10
Review of Dream  Open in new Window.
Review by A to z Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
From your pen to my heart.
11
11
Review of True innocence  Open in new Window.
Review by A to z Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Is this a retelling of an Indian folktale?

It's a fine story, finely told.
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12
Review of Cheesy.  Open in new Window.
Review by A to z Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
OMG!
13
13
Review by A to z Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Is this a scene from a longer tale? If so, you have me hooked.
14
14
Review by A to z Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Nice! The last few poems I've read here have been fantastic, including this one.
15
15
Review of In the Garden  Open in new Window.
Review by A to z Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Excellent!
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16
Review by A to z Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a fiver -- any poem that almost brings me to tears deserves it.
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17
Review by A to z Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Nice -- the hope that lust and love are one.

Only time will tell...

Enjoyed this piece.
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18
Review by A to z Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Interesting metaphors. Well written, though I would have liked a bit more.
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19
Review by A to z Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Like the way you set this up then laid it out.

An admirable narrative.
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20
Review of Big Bang  Open in new Window.
Review by A to z Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is both funny and great!
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21
Review by A to z Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
Your writing is crisp and clear, your frustration palpable. It's just the apex of the piece I'm struggling with.

Bungie jumping, sky diving, zip lining usually involves someone else who's working so you can enjoy yourself, doesn't it? Maybe they don't consider their jobs productive to society,either.

Aside from the logic issue with this piece I consider you an excellent writer. I would definitely like to see more of your work.
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22
Review of Two Together  Open in new Window.
Review by A to z Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Kudos to your cheekiness!
Nice job!
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23
Review of Dog onna Bog  Open in new Window.
Review by A to z Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Wow!
I'm a fan!
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24
Review of Memories  Open in new Window.
Review by A to z Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Lovely
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25
Review by A to z Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hear,hear! Every soul is equal,no matter the vessel it occupies.
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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/inny