The theme of ageing in your poetry is constant, and sad, yet it is expressed in such an incredible, liberating way. You convey heartbreaking loss, yet an inner strength and the use of colourful imagery enhances the power. I'm really beginning to love your work!
The personalisation of the trees is gorgeous! I love the perpetuation of the simply talking relationship. My only criticism of how it appears to be restricted and forced into describing each season, it ought to flow better in that sense. But there is a stunning dream quality to it. Really masterful!
Reads beautifully!
I feel that through use of metaphor it could be more expressive. I'm a huge fan of the alternate rhyme, and this works it perfectly. I like the ambiguity, but I agree that it needs a little more. Let me know if you expand on this :)
I love the rhyming and the idea is wonderful.
The ending is too abrupt and i don't understand what happened exactly. It needs an other verse.
The line 'Of creating a really hideous mask' <-- i would not use the word 'really', it doesn't sound right. how about a 'revolting, hideous mask' or some other adjective.
Great ideas though!
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/izzabellezi
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.09 seconds at 6:58pm on Dec 11, 2024 via server WEBX1.
| (3.5)
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
