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Review Requests: ON
47 Public Reviews Given
49 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I have experience looking for consistency. I fully believe in Keep It Simple & Succinct. *Smile*
Favorite Genres
Mostly Fantasy and Speculative Fiction, but will read almost anything. These days most of my "reading" is done with audio books.
Public Reviews
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26
26
Review of Escaping Yourself  
Review by Just Jae
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
I've never been much for poetry, but you describe the emotion of hopelessness very well in this piece. I can only imagine that this would be how a person with schizophrenia could feel. The demons in one's head can certainly have an impact on how one thinks and feels.

On the technical side, the cadence is mostly good, but in one or two places, the cadence seems broken a bit by the commas. For formatting consistency, make sure to add a space every comma.
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Review by Just Jae
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
It's a good first draft, but needs some work. The basic story flows fairly well. You need to double-check your spelling and make sure that the names you gave the characters remains the same throughout the story. I am still a bit confused as to whether the wife is Karen or Kate. What is the real purpose of the sudden woman friend in Malta? A gratuitous affair? Is her name Susan or Mary? How does the affair affect the case?

I know that format is the least of our writing worries while we go through the process of getting the story down on the page, but you might want to consider formatting the story into more readable paragraphs for the next draft.

I would like to see the next revision of this story when you have finished it.

JJ
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28
Review of Bathman  
Review by Just Jae
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Nice! I can fully appreciate your frustration over dangling participles and split infinitives. As a technical writer in the computer storage industry, I also spend my day chasing down errant punctuation and juxtaposing compound sentences.

Your wonderful description of The Wordsmith whizzing down the road in the Wordmobile had me laughing out load. Carry on and keep up the good work. *Smile*
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Review of Do you really?  
Review by Just Jae
Rated: E | (3.5)
Very solid emotion is conveyed in this piece. As I read through it a second time, I was reading in a rap cadence and could almost see a young woman rapping this to her father as she walked out the door, leaving him to his own devices. This is a powerful piece.
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Review by Just Jae
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Well spoken. Even though I am an American Lesbian, I know enough about the culture in India to know that your essay and poem took a lot of guts to write, let alone publish. I sincerely hope your journey of self-discovery continues.

Like you, I believe that homosexuality is a natural condition in the grand scheme of life.

I wish I had been able to read the poem. All I can see are question marks.

Best of luck in your life. *Smile*
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31
Review by Just Jae
Rated: E | (4.5)
I can't wait to read more. I will be interested to find out what happened during the lost years. You have introduced a number of intriguing questions in your preface.

I am curious as to why you have so much space between paragraphs.
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