hello Bandit's mama,
Pardon me but whether you are in this life ot the other one, this is so very emotional and good,
thanks for sharing and keep on writing and inspiring wherever you are.
If we ever forget writers like you,
May the angels in heaven forget us too!
Hello Chatou,
This is a very timely and helpful column, thanks a lot for sharing this information with us.
Do you have any idea how I can keep track of my emails to see which ones are not answered? That would be great.
Thanks again,
Jamdownjennny
Hello L.A.Powell,
I like how you made this one interactive, you tried to involve the reader by asking a question for him/her to answer. Your thoughts and ideas flowed very well. I also liked how you made it free, just giving your ideas and not being concerned with rhyming which can sometimes interfere with the flow. Good job, keep on writing and thanks for sharing.
Jamdownjenny
Hey Chris,
This sounds like it would be a very good sad love song. I tried it with the commas as pauses but i wish I could have heard it being sung. Last line seems very short though, anyway, that's a poet/songwriter's option. Great job. Keep on writing and keeping the faith.
Jamdownjenny
Hello Elegance is an attitude,
You have bared your innermost feelings in this piece. You are honest with your thoughts and emotions and readers tend to respond in kind to this heartfelt concern for someone you hardly know. thanks for sharing and keep on writing.
Jamdownjenny
Hello georgiawill,
thanks for sharing another one with us but I thought haiku poems had only three lines. Now i find that this one has more than three, what's the story?
This is another one where your true artistic ability shine through. I too wish that Spring would stay with us longer.
good job.
jamdownjenny
Hello georgiawill,
At the risk of sounding like a broken record i am going to say it again, you are master of the haiku poems, you rock. You have done it again, give a complete story in a mere three lines, good for you.
Great job, thanks for sharing and keep on writing.
jamdownjenny
Hi georgiawill,
You've done it again. You have managed to tell a story in a mere three lines, this is a really good type of poetry if you can manage it. I can actually imagine the verdant, green, serene atmosphere with the leaves blowing in the wind and the birds singing.Thanks for sharing and keep on writing.
Jamdownjenny
Hello DNAN,
The poet has performed a formidable task, one which s/he should be proud of: melting a lover' frozen tears.thanks for sharing this beautiful love poem with us. keep on writin, reviewing and keeping the faith.
Jamdownjenny
Hello Zanoncelli,
This is a beautiful poem which reflects the emotions on that fateful day. You did a good job with it.
I also did one called "Ode to 9/11" If you have time you could check it out.
Thanks for sharing and keep on writing.
Jamdownjenny
Hello Princeday,
A very apt line at the end. It is good thaat the poet can stand up for what s/he believes in. honest and to the point, thanks for sharing and keep on writing.
Jamdownjenny
Hello Marin Ashley,
You seem very wise, talented and mature for sixteen. Keep writing and keep the dream alive, it will happen and maybe sooner than you think if you work at it.
this piece is very good although there might be a little tense thing going on, but with talent like that you are on your way, keep on writing and thanks for sharing.
Jamdownjenny
Hi Poetrygirl,
I get the feeling you are an island woman, are you?
That was a very deep write. I like how the poet was strong in the last stanza. Love hurts.
Keep on writing and thanks for sharing.
Jamdownjenny
Hello Rachwrites,
I think if this is true you should make the first step toward bridging the gap. After 9/11 I do not want to take anything for granted. This is a very emotional poem that comes from deep within the soul and causes the reader to really want a reconnection of these two souls.
Thanks for sharing and keep on writing.
Jamdownjenny
Hello Jaded,
This is a very fitting and timely write about reviews. When things start to combine it means you have had enough and you need to move on to something else. The last line seems awkward so perhaps you could revisit. All in all, a good theme for a poem.
Thanks for sharing.
Jamdownjenny
Hello ctHarvey,
I am going to be very blunt with you. There are too many spelling errors in your work, I did not finish it. You could be a great writer but you have to edit or let someone help you, this turns off many editors. If you want to be in this business you have to edit, edit and reedit or get someone to help you. I am not perfect and we are here to help each other so I hope you take this for what it is, no hard feelings, and do what you have to do, I will revisit your port after you get a chance to reedit, and we can help each other out as much as possible.
Keep on writing.
Jamdownjenny
Hello RadioShea,
First of all you seem to have the making of a very interesting storyteller. Now, you tell your readers too much instead of showing them. There was a mere half sentence of dialogue which is not pleasing to the eye nor inviting to read. You also need to use the five senses in your work: smell the salt water, fear, vomit, taste water, vomit etc. feel, You did quite well with the sight and sound. Another thing, some of your descriptions are too generic eg. His shoes - what kind, color, brand were they?
These are just some of the aspects you need to pay attention to if you want your writing to have the "wow" factor. I am not so sure from who's p.o.v. you were writing. I picked up three? (you asked for honest reviews)
All in all it was a good piece and I could sense a plot forming and the story flowed well and left me wondering what will happen next.
thanks for sharing and keep on writing.
Jamdownjenny
Hello again georgiawill,
You have done a great job of expressing your thoughts in just three lines.I could not do it. It is easy to visualise the pond with the moon reflecting the red waves and creating a glow. It is not easy to draw the readers in to share your emotions. You have managed to do that, congratulations and thanks for sharing.
Hello georgiawill,
As I have said before it is very hard to express a complete idea/story in just three lines. you have done so quite well. I can actually envision the dry leaves "cackling" their message. there is one thing however i was not sure about, the last twe words in the first line,. other than that it was a very good haiku poem. thanks for sharing and keep on writing.
Jamdownjenny
Hey Armadillo,
These are strong, fighting words you have penned. all so very true. Forgive my ignorance but this seems like it was intended to be a poem, i noticed quite a few rhymes, maybe i missed something.
this is a great essay though that speaks to the mismanagement, (for want of a better word).Thanks for sharing and keep on writing.
jamdownjenny
Hello L.a. Powell,
thanks for sharing this poem/exerpt from your novel.Seems you are reliving memories that have not actually been made? is that possible? well in a writer's mind anything is possible and the sky is the limit. You seem to have drawn me in your web of dreams and memories and i can feel the emotions which is good. great job and keep on writing.
jamdownjenny
Hello Prier,
thanks for sharing that piece with us. I am confused by the ending. I am trying to figure out what is real and what is not real. Did Chancey drown as a child or was he just in an accident, and what's with the dream machine. I think it was well structured though with a beginning, middle and end and was well developed and shows good writing talent. With editing I think you have a winner.
First of all the lines and rhythm of your poem are not consistent, "your eyes were sunken..." is way too long, please re-read and edit, now for the good points, the idea flowed well and you appealed to the emotions, and people could identify with it, keep on writing and thanks for sharing.
Jamdownjenny
Hi I_Am,
You are a true wordsmith, you took a few words and made them truly your own, I think you expressed your thoughts beautifully,like an artist you brought the tree to life, thanks for sharing this work of art with us.
Jamdownjenny
Hi Serenity,
If you feel strongly about your words, then that's how it should be. Those words you said helped you through some dark times which means there are sentiments attached, I feel you.
"In every word, regard the writer's end.
Since none can compass more than they intend,
And if the means be just, the conduct true,
Applause, in spite of trivial faults is due."
Jamdownjenny
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