This is a great story on several levels. It is entertaining and creative, for starters. The images generated by the vivid telling are entertaining and would easily captivate a young listener. The word-play of Pierat and pirate make therubbedstory more than a little humourous. And, some of the conflict is far beyond mere child's play. A great, fun read!
I am very touched by this poem! It seems to be the phrasing of a writer contemplating a good life retrospectively. The unspoken metaphors of rusting and bright paint set a tone which is at the same time vivid and melancoly. Those are emotions with which I can identify, as I too a custodian of a mortal body that is showing evidence of wearing out. Your triumphant ending offers the redemptive hope that the life it has enjoyed has all been worth all that has been enjoyed!
An impressive, concise stab at a topic I think we all wish we understood better. I like the contrast between the "brilliant voyage or chaotic mess"--that is a good analysis of life at its best. I assume that you used the poor grammer of "we had began" to facilitate the rhyme scheme, otherwise the wording should be "we had begun." This was a great read and I am glad I found it. It gives me questions as I contemplate my brilliant, chaotic mess of a journey! Many thanks for that vocabulary!!
Filling out the application/survey has gotten me excited all over again about maintaining my blog. I remember now that it is an ongoing account of my journey from me to me. I intend to go back and revisit my entries not to revise or change or alter the impact of certain events on my life, but to ensure that a full representation of my life-events are present in the blog. I enjoyed taking this survey
This is a bold and visionary mechanism destined to help WDC members get the maximum possible benefit from all that this site has to offer and do. Using it makes me inquire of myself the function that I have given to my piece as I enter it into the format. I appreciate the clarity with which I am now regarding my piece!
Cool and helpful resources. I enjoy viewing how other people use words; these items give me several good examples. It is helpful to have such a comprehensive collection of creativity and resource so conveniently at hand. Thanks for compiling this in one place for the class.
Great and fun way to illustrate common meter to the class. I found myself singing it aloud to the tune of "Amazing Grace" (my cats always whine along with me when I sing! I am not flattered. I once had a cat who used to put her PAW in my mouth as I practiced for my voice lessons!!) It is a memorable way to have shown us the technique and one which resonates with the current political turmoil....
What a great story about endings and beginnings and redemption! Great use of images and description and showinf rather than telling. George got his dream of flight sort as a reward for making the most of what he had. I found this story to be uplifß3ting, and I will never view a gumball machinee the same way again!! Thanks for t⅝he great read!p
Wonderful piece!! Great read!! Superb descriptions of even the tiniest detail; the sounds, the colors, the wrinkles on his face. I observed no mechanical problems--grammar, punctuation, spelling--but I was too riveted by the storyline to even notice any! An absolutely terrific story which should somehow be published for an occasion like a Memorial Day! Thanks for sharing. Your story is so great that I am glad you beat my entry. I would have voted for yours if I had had a vote! Thanks for sharing such a huge piece of yourself.
Great poem in a really neat form! Many thanks for explaining the form; it added to my enjoyment of the piece! You have deftly captured all I enjoy about the season as a compact, packaged delight! Great word choices reflect the time you put in to this to make it such a rewarding read! Thanks! (Always think of you when I pass the little B'hai Center up the street from me!)
Great example of renewal taken from pop culture! You have found an excellent example and described it lucidly, made me want to see it, and then provided a link to enable me to do so! A good commentary about what makes really good science fiction shine in an era when all SF has to include a space ship or some type of alien to succeed. Thanks for the recommendation!
Great poem. I feel much rage in your lines as I read. Hope this was not a response to a real experience, but I feel that it is based on your word-choices and the emotions you expressed. I can't decide if it is about a love relationship or a parent/child scenario, but it is powerful. Great use of some interior rhyme, aliteration, and super word choices. Very powerful poem. You used to when I think that you meant to use too. A great poetic expression of raw and hurting emotion! WRITE ON!
What a great poem!! The rhythm was a little off in some places, which made the flow a little choppy. That was more than compensated for by the delightful tone--light and humorous! That easy conversational humor sort of pulls the reader through to the end with a smile!! I like your bio statement about writing being your passion. You have a great, readable voice; I am glad you are willing to share your writing and your fun! Write on! I'll be on the lookout for your stuff!
This is GREAT FUN! A wonderful idea for sparking creativity and catching zany thoughts. It is insightful and maybe also inciteful to work with members that I can't see to bat around ideas and make up fun together! This gives spontaniety and thinking on one's feet a whole new meaning! Thanks for the fun!!
You have used this great form to capture your fond memories very appripriately. I catch a sense of happiness and completeness from hearing you view your past scenes and self. It is pleasing and uncommon to discover someone's happy memories from the past; all too frequently, we humans try to second guess ourselves and "grade" our past lives with the same vigor that teachers grade essays. It is great to read your evaluation; I daresay that you gave yourself and your memories an "A!"
Really outstanding!! I couldn't have said it better! As an "undertall" specimin myself, I can so relate to beach discomfort in the face of underweight-but-nubile beauty. Oh, I forgot. I am already 6' in realtime; I'd better find a more truthful moniker for fatness than "undertall;" no one would buy it from looking at me! Great job on the poem. Good luck with the Cramp!
What a great way of stating an unfortunate truth about our lives. The way you have made this statement, as a senryu, makes it more notable than if you had just expressed the same words as conventional sentences. Super use of poetry to convey a contemporary message that its form makes more dynamic to the reader!
Really great way to express this poetic journey of ours! I am especially enjoying reading all of your poetic form explorations! Thanks for providing this fun review opportunity! I like the essential characterization in this poem of a calling, baring the depths of a soul which ultimately makes the heart soar high. Great description.
Great poem!
What a clever poem from your themed and relevant folder of poetry. I really appreciated the description of the form at the end; I was then able to go back and re-appreciate your great poem in its context. This poem makes sense, has valid meaning, and is a great representative of its form! Thanks for the great read!
This is a super piece! You are a great story teller. You put emotion and soul into your message. I can totally relate to the emotions. There are a few grammatical errors here and there; you switched tense a few times and also got a few words mixed up with their sound-alikes, like since vs. sense; that may be a matter of the way things are pronounced where you live! But none of the tiny errors took away from the great story! I especially like the way the boots show support and approval for Meg's actions and feelings! Good effect! Great read! Write on!
What an incredibly cool way of saying "I love you" to a small child! What a neat way of encouraging that child to be her/himself without restraint! That type of love is so rarely found, and is even less rarely encapsulated for the rest of the world to see! Beautiful poem; thanks for sharing!
What a great poem! You have addressed the cripling codition with hope and optimism, I find that I write some of my best stuff when I am mired in depression. Guess I am able to use it as a fuel of sorts. . . .LIke your rhyme scheme very much. None of the rhymes were forced. Very optimistic take on cruel depression. I see your flying dreams, flying with smiles, as I read this poem!
What a cool poem!! Had me grinning the whole way through. Great rhythm; no forced rhymes, and the verses made sense! What a wonderful treat to read!! Thanks for entering. It is great to read another poet who sees fun poetry as a great way to depict our world! You have made my day!
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