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I don't give 5 stars very often. A 5 is near, if not absolutely, perfect. This fits my tight definition. You have done very well. Are you sure you aren't a deer in human clothing?
I found this when I clicked on the Read & Review link.
Good advice. Well written, thoughtfully laid out. Should be read by anyone contemplating a work-from-home situation.
One recommendation I would make is, set off your headers in some way. Maybe bold them, use a different font, or perhaps color. You choose. It's your piece.
Grandson and Granddaughter live with us (along with Son and Daughter-in-Law), and when I was a homeworker, they learned early on to stay away from Grandpa Dad when he was at his desk. Grandson was in Kindergarten & Granddaughter was a pre-schooler at the time. They forgot a few times, but those things happen. Family obligations can make it tough, but they can be worked around.
I see no glaring err, nothing else I would change. You did well.
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OK, this is not as bad as you advertised. Yeah, I gave it 3 stars, but there are issues with rhyming, cadence, and rhythm. This is a new item. It needs work. But it's average. Definitely list genres. I'd recommend Adult (it doesn't mean porn after all), inspirational, Personal and Experience. Listing genres gets more eyes on your writing, and that's why we post.
If you think this is bad poetry, I urge you to try . That is bad poetry, admittedly intentionally bad poetry.
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This is very good. However, I happen to have a beginning reader living in my house. Granddaughter is in the first grade, so I asked her to read this. She tried to read the first 2 lines, but she couldn't. I'm giving you 3.5 stars because I think Granddaughter might be more of a beginning reader than you are aiming for. I'm not an expert, but this seems to me to be geared to maybe 3rd or 4th graders, which if so maybe you should change your note to say intermediate reader.
It is well-written. I see no other errors, nothing else I would change.
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I'm sorry. I did not get this. I understand this is a contest entry. I hope you won. I just didn't get it. I see several problems with this. Whom is Harry and who is he talking? What is the anomaly? It took me a couple reads to understand what you meant by screen, and longer to realize they are in space. And at the end, what isn't a television? Your writing is good, but I'm missing something with this. Please don't get heartbroken by my review, it's just the opinion of one grumpy old man.
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This is an excellent children's tory. I visualized Winnie the Pooh style illustrations. At first glance it seems a little short. But after reading it, and visualizing the illustrations, you realize it is the right length.
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This is very God's. Excellent. I haven't lived in snow country for 40 years. And don't miss it in the least. Usually. This made me reminisce about those days. That's the sign of good writing. 'Course, then memories of Temps below zero returned, and sanity comes back. Beu, good job.
I found this when I clicked on the Read & Review link.
This is interesting. A fascinating solution to an unwanted situation. This is well thought out, well written. I see no glaring errors, nothing I would recommend that you change.
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The first thing to understand is that I am not a poet, and I don't understand the difference between the specific types poetry. What I do know is what I like. I like this. This is well written, and is enjoyable. The rhymes are good, the cadence is good
This is longer than I usually read, but about the same size as I write, so I thought I'd give you a shot.
This is very well written. Gripping, engaging, I was all in quickly. I see no glaring errors, nothing I would change. I like that the commands and the alien transmissions were color coded. Nice touch with that. I was very impressed that Beaumont was female. Another nice touch, although when first intro, before her gender was established, I saw a rumpled, bespectacled nerd with a cigar in his mouth struggling with the books. Maybe that image would be better for Youngblood!
I saw a recent review of this which made me curious.
Curiosity sated.
This is a good piece. I agree with Joseph. This is well written. The cadence is good, the rhyming scheme works, and your voice and imagery allow us to see the injury through the eyes of the wounded. You have done well with this.
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Hmmm. An interesting take on the Cinderella story. This is good. Short, but not too short. Since we already should know the characters, not a lot of character development is necessary, but you give enough. Very well done.
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This is different. Not bad, just different. I understand that the contest is no dialogue. Even without dialogue, I think you could have expanded his character more. Somehow, it left me unfulfilled.
I saw no glaring errors, no suggestions on what to change to make it more fulfilling.
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Very interesting. Well thought out, well executed. I have to admit that I had figured out that Mr. Bond was dead about half way through, but that is not a bad thing. I think you did a wonderful job here. I am curious. I saw the small man as Ernst Stavro Blofeld even though he is supposed to be a physically high man. Who did you envision as the small man?
Well done. I see no glaring errors, nothing I would change.
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This is very good. I'm not a poetry expert, but for me, this reminds me of Emily Dickinson. It is well written. The rhyming scheme is good. The cadence is a little rough in places, but I don't know how to fix it.
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This is very good. I understand that you wrote this for a flash fiction contest. Now that the contest is closed, you might want to revisit this. It is too short on details. What color were the tulips? Did Charlie eat the leaves? The bids? The stems? Did they taste different? How did they taste? Were the kids yelling? Grinning? Laughing? Did Charlie try to nibble on the goodies? What did he think of the chocolate bunny? Did it scare him? (The initial shock of seeing a bunny wrapped in plastic might bee a good plot point!). It doesn't have to be overly long. It is a children's story, after all. These are just so e of my thoughts. As it is, it's a very good story.
I followed your advice and followed the links. I understand much better now. I was the link, but I tend to skip over them for no good reason, so I missed this. I'm glad you led me in the right direction. I don't know how to tell you to tell dunces like to to follow the steps. Good luck with that.
I found this by clicking on the Read & Review link.
And imagine my surprise when you popped up.
This is a very good story. It leaves many questions that do NOT need to be answered. The set up is ordinary, which is a good thing. Just an ordinary day. The action is believable. Children get lost in the woods easily. The questions that don't need answering are, how did she know that the kid was at the cabin? How did she know how to get to the cabin? Why didn't the rangers know about the cabin? Why couldn't Chief follow the kid's scent? Masterful job of making these questions inconsequential.
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They say that limericks are a low form of poetry. I say I don't care. I love them.
This is a good limerick, better than most of mine. I see no glaring errors (other than swallowing a fly), nothing I would change (other than swallowing a fly).
If you like limericks and want a fun, challenging In/Out to participate in, I urge you to try "Linericks" . I visit it often. It is very fun, and can be quite a challenge. Check it out.
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This is average. Not bad, but not earthshattering. Hence, 3-stars. There is nothing wrong with this. I understand that this is an article that explains your feelings. You do the job well. I see no glaring errors, nothing I would change.
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If your loss is recent, please accept my condolences.
This is very good. I would make one suggestion: The 7th line, change memory to mem'ry. Make it an obvious 2 syllable word. The cadence will flow better.
Other than that, there is nothing I would change. I see no glaring errors.
This is a nice tribute.
Write on
Smiles
Dad
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