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3,537 Public Reviews Given
4,150 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I tend to review using a format that I can comment on plot, characters, setting, atmosphere and dialogue. I also try to point out typos/errors and that sort of thing. This style may change depending on the item!
I'm good at...
I'm better with fiction than anything else. I might be able to have a go at poetry but please don't expect too much!
Favorite Genres
Horror, dark, suspense, thriller, mystery. However, I'm open minded and will read most genres.
Favorite Item Types
Statics - fiction.
Public Reviews
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576
576
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey Megan, I'm here with a little review *Smile*


*Checkg*What I liked:

This is a really great piece which shows your love of Jane Austen! I too absolutely love Pride and Prejudice *Smile* I think you've described it so well here and makes the reader want to read or love it as much as you do which is great! I think I am a little like you because I often wish I lived in the past too, imagine how different life would have been!

I love how you bring this into the present with Lost in Austen. It's not something I've heard of before and I'd certainly be interested to watch it!






Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
577
577
Review of The Refuge  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: Hey Jace! I'm here with a review from the Tea Garden as part of the review package eyestar~* gifted as part of your auction package! (haha I seriously hope that made sense!)

*Pencil*Storyline: This was a really well written piece. It told the story of our prtagonist (do we find out her name?) who moves with her family to a new place and meets Ricky, a boy with whom she will spend all of her time, a boy who will be there unconditionally. The way you tell the abuse in this piece works well, it's there but not graphic and I think that worked well for me.

*People*Characters: I don't recall seeing the protagonist's name in this piece (and I'm sorry if it's there and I've missing it) but it might be worth including that somewhere, just for an additional character developement piece. However, she seems like a strong woman. She tries to stand up for something that is not right and deals with it by running away, being with Ricky. I really felt for this young woman.

*Home*Setting: The setting of this piece is somewhere near the Mississippi. I don't know where exactly but I think that's okay as you set the tone well.

*Ghost*Atmosphere/tone: This piece is really sad, the trials she has to go through, losing her companion, her soul mate. But it also has a bit of an uplifting ending, knowing she is not alone anymore.



*Cut**Paste*A few suggestions I had:

Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear *Smile*

*BulletG*Only, ... Ricky knew.
Only ... Ricky knew.

I don't think you need a comma here.




Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
578
578
Review of Evermore  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey, I'm back with your third review as part of the package you won! As you can see I've stayed with the dark theme and this piece, with the title reminiscing Poe, I couldn't resist!

*Pencil*Storyline: The beginnings of this piece took me a while to grasp. I think it was to do with the tone of the journal entry, but once I had, I was immersed in the story. This tells of our protagonist (do we find out his name?) who is thrust into a mission of exploration; something he has been searching for his whole life. And when he finally finds it, he realises that it is not all as it seems...


I really like the twist at the end! I didn't see that coming!


*People*Characters: Just as I mentioned before I would perhaps mention the protagonists name (or if you have I apologise for missing it!). When I was reading the journal entry I immediately got the impression he was an older gentleman so well done for beginning to characterise him from the very beginning. I sensed his excitement as he explored and finally found what he has been searching for.

*Home*Setting: The setting of this piece changes but you set it all well so the reader can see and sense the place they are exploring.

*Ghost*Atmosphere/tone: This is an intense tale that kept me hooked, but it was also quite ironic. He finally found what he had spent his life looking for but I know as a reader, that he's going to come to regret it over and over.



*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!





Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
579
579
Review of Rush Week  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey, I'm back with another review! I'm sticking with the dark folder. I think this piece caught my eye because although hazing and joining a fraternity is an American tradition in colleges (is that right?) because I'm from the UK I can note that things are a lot different here and I like to hear how things are there!

*Pencil*Storyline: Wow what a terrifying story! I truly hope fazing isn't really like this! I think if I went to college in America I might just become a recluse, safer that way *Wink*

*People*Characters: Our main character is a young man going through rush, or at least, he thinks he is. He wakes up trapped in a coffin and while he thinks it's an alaborate prank, he soon finds out otherwise... At first he is cool and collected, willing to play the game. But when his oxygen begins to run out and he realises that soil is beginning to cave in on him, he begins to panic. I can't blame him for it!

*Home*Setting: The setting of this piece is a casket. You set the scene well allowing the reader to be there with him.

*Ghost*Atmosphere/tone: This is a very dark piece. You caught the intensity of his terror so wel!


*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
580
580
Review of Sine Qua Non  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey! I'm here with my first review of the WDC Around the World Package you won! I checked in the dark folder for that is my preference and this is the first thing I spotted. The title immediately made me go what? because I'm not sure what it means and of course, meant that I had to find out...!

*Pencil*Storyline: A creepy story indeed! And I go just what I wanted and found out what the title meant, very niteresting *Smile* This tells the story of Mr Smith who does his job just like everyone else but he is hated for what he does. A doctor, from a hospital he shuts down seeks to get revenge and puts him through a torturous night...

I think you've created a really original plot here and an enjoyable read with a good twist at the end. After all, who would have thought he would wake up after such torture!

*People*Characters: Mr Smith is our main character in this and I have to say, I feel for him. He has one of those jobs that everyone hates him for, like a traffic warden, but he is after all, just doing his job. He strikes me as very professional, logical and hard working.

*Home*Setting: The setting of this piece changes but no matter where the protagonist is you set it well, allowing the reader to be there with him.

*Ghost*Atmosphere/tone: Very creepy with a hint of dark humour!


*Cut**Paste*A few suggestions I had:

Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear *Smile*

*BulletG*His scrubs are splattered with blood and he’s holding a bloody scalpel. He leaned in close and pulled down his surgical mask, revealing the creepy doctor from the plane.

His scrubs were splattered with blood and he was holding a bloody scalpel. He leaned in close and pulled down his surgical mask, revealing the creepy doctor from the plane.

The first sentence here brought the piece into the present tense when the story is written in the past tense.




Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
581
581
Review of Surprise Gift  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey Jyo, I just wanted to stop by and offer you a review in honour of the Power Review Birthday Raid!

*Checkg*What I liked:

I came across this piece in a list of possible things to read and I had to come and take a look, after all, who can resist a surprise gift! I don't often read poetry so please bear with me. Although I'm not familiar with the form you wrote this poem in, I began to understand it as I read, particularly the swapped lines which I thought was a nice touch.

It's a really nice piece that tells of the celebration of your son's birthday, the decorations, preparations, the candles. I can picture the scene well in my head.

Thank you for sharing this with us!


*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
582
582
Review of Almost Birthday  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey Amay, I'm here with a review of this piece in honour of the Power Review Birthday Raid!

*Pencil*Storyline: This is a really sweet story about a couple, who share a dance before his birthday. They are an older couple and they are able to admit to each other that despite their love, they have drifted apart. But she promises, that they will always be together and she will always be there for him.

*People*Characters: Normally, I would suggest adding names to a story but I think because of the tone of this piece, it works well just as it is. The two characters are an older couple, still loving and caring, though they have drifted apart. I love that they are mature enough to have that conversation and acknowledge each still wants the other to be happy.

*Home*Setting: The setting of this piece is the dance floor. We don't know when or why or how but I think that's okay, it's about the dance.

*Ghost*Atmosphere/tone: This is a really sweet piece and I'm not sure whether it was the story, the characters or the dialogue (or all three) but it left me feeling quite mellow and content.




*Cut**Paste*A few suggestions I had:

Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear *Smile*

*BulletG*If you had to pick one word to describe the mood in the room mellow comes to mind.
If you had to pick one word to describe the mood in the room, mellow comes to mind.



Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
583
583
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey Maryann, in the spirit of the Power Review Raid, I thought I'd stop by as this was on the list of items!


*Checkg*What I liked:

I think this is a super sweet forum that a lot of your close friends have put together to help you celebrate your tenth anniversary here on writing.com. I love that it's been transferred to your port and it's now something you can look back on without having to remember, it's right there in front of you.

Wow you got an amazing amount of merit badges too! I love the way you've expressed your appreciation to everyone who has gotten involved with this *Smile*







Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
584
584
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Glad to see another Twilight fan! *Smile*


*Checkg*What I liked:

This is a really neat image! I think it depicts the sort of love triangle that is going on between the three of them, but by having Edward at the front, makes it clear that he is going to be on the one for Bella.

You use a really great picture of him to do this, it's so inviting! And then Jacob is portrayed in his wolf form, which is great! Thanks for sharing this!





Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
585
585
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey Princess Megan Rose, I wanted to come and check out some of your images *Smile*


*Checkg*What I liked:

This is a really nice image and definately sits well with the whole gothic vampire scenario! I love the castle in the background and the deep night sky. The two vampires are beautiful people and they make a fantastic couple!

Thanks for sharing this with us *Smile*


*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
586
586
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey Princess Megan Rose! I'm here with a review for you as part of the Dozen Delights package *Smile* I chose this because I know I entered the contest and I wanted to come and find out what your perfect birthday party would be!


*Checkg*What I liked:

This is such a sweet idea! You've clearly put a lot of thought into this. Your perfect birthday party sounds perfect for you; you've considered all aspects of things normally at a party, plus many more. You've put a lot of thought into the people you would invite, and made me think maybe I would invite some of those too! I love how your passion shows through in this piece, how much you love to write, how much you love certain series of things and hold them dear to your heart!

Thank you for sharing this with us and providing an immense amount of inspiration for planning the next birthday party!


*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!




Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
587
587
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (2.5)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey, I'm here with a review in return for the review you did for me! I chose this piece because it made sense to start at the beginning *Smile*

*Pencil*Storyline: This tells the story of Layla and Kai, two young people who are a couple. It becomes clear that Kai is a ninja and Layla is not (at least, I didn't get the impression she was).

I have to be honest and say that while you seem to have an interesting concept, the chapter feels anticlimatic. Nothing really seems to happen. Layla tends to his wound and they go for a day out to climb the tree. I wanted to find something to keep me hooked, in anticipation for the next chapter, but I didn't feel like I found it.

*People*Characters: The main characters are Layla and Kai but apart from knowing he is a ninja and she missed him, we don't really know anything else about them. Perhaps it could use some character development, let the reader know of their motivations.

*Home*Setting: I'm not sure where this piece is set. I would want to say an alternate reality or at some different time. Perhaps it would be a good idea to try and work that into this chapter.



*Cut**Paste*A few suggestions I had:

Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear *Smile*

*BulletG*The wind whipped her long, black hair in her face as she sat staring out to sea
The wind whipped her long, black hair in her face as she stared out to sea

I think deleting the word 'sat' makes it a stronger sentence.

*BulletB*Slowly, She grabbed his left wrist
Slowly, she grabbed his left wrist

*BulletR*It only had three rooms her bedroom, her parents’ room, and their dining/kitchen/living room.
It only had three rooms: her bedroom, her parents’ room, and their dining/kitchen/living room.

I think a colon would work well here because you're making a list of rooms.

*BulletV*“Sit on the chair over there” Layla told him calmly,
“Sit on the chair over there,” Layla told him calmly,

Speech should always end with punctuation.

*Bullet*A mistake that shouldn’t of happened but did anyway.
A mistake that shouldn’t have happened but did anyway.

*BulletG*Kai watched a Layla put the fire and the candles out in her room
Kai watched as Layla put the fire and the candles out in her room

*BulletB*“I do a lot of tree climbing while your away.” Layla giggled.
“I do a lot of tree climbing while you're away.” Layla giggled.

This should be 'you're' as it means you are.




Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
588
588
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with The Storytellers  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Storytellers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey! I saw that this is going to be the featured Spotlight Chat Review Piece! I don't think I can make it to the chat but thought I would send a review anyway *Smile* The title is certainly very intriguing, making me want to know what exactly it means!

*Pencil*Storyline: What a creepy little tale. Pygmalion (for I assume this is his name) created Galatea, a statue whom he then fell in love with. Taking pity on him for loving a statue, Venus awoke Galatea so they could remain together and in love for all eternity. Only Pygmalion didn't think about the consequences or how it would feel for her...

I found this was a really original piece and I certainly don't think I've ever read something like this before. It did ring true of the style of a myth so well done for that!

*People*Characters: I assume Pygmalion is the protagonist, the one who creates the statue. His name isn't actually mentioned in this piece. He strikes me as somebody who, although sweet in nature, is a little bit obsessive. That's never good for a relationship.

Galatea is not a happy woman like she used to be. She has come to realise that her perfection is her flaw because is encourages the obsession that she cannot break free of. She is unhappy yet he does not see and she can only hope to become free.

*Home*Setting: This piece was set back in the days of Greek Mythology and I think the tale rings true for a myth.

*Ghost*Atmosphere/tone: The tone of this piece made it seem indeed like an old fable.

*BurstR*Dialogue: The dialogue added to the piece and was authentic to the time it was written.




*Cut**Paste*A few suggestions I had:

Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear *Smile*

*BulletG*She stepped through the many scattered rose petals and made her to their bedroom.
She stepped through the many scattered rose petals and made her way to their bedroom.

*BulletB*She pulled him along by the hand through the thick foliage until the came to an old stone pedestal,
She pulled him along by the hand through the thick foliage until they came to an old stone pedestal,



Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Storytellers Group:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
589
589
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey I've had this piece saved in my list of things to read for a while until I could find time to read it! What attracted me was the steampunk theme of the piece, its a new genre to me and I'm trying to pick it up, maybe!

*Pencil*Storyline: This tells the story of our protagonist and Aralee who have a steamy affair n the Clock shop where they both work.

While it's an interesting idea, I felt like I didn't really feel their arousal. The way you write it tells the reader what happens rather than helping them experience the emotions and feelings of the characters. It also gets a little confusing in places as it switches from present to past tense.

*People*Characters: The protagonist and Aralee are the main characters. I didn't feel like they were overly developed but I think for such a short quickie that's okay *Wink*

*Home*Setting: The setting of this piece is the Victorian era in a steampunk scenario.

*Ghost*Atmosphere/tone: As I mentioned earlier, I didn't feel their passion the way I hoped it would come across.




*Cut**Paste*A few suggestions I had:

Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear *Smile*

*BulletG*It wasn't anger; It was carnal lustful passion.
It wasn't anger; it was carnal lustful passion.

*BulletB*Our young bodies were charged, and our bodies let the intense passion burst out.
Our young bodies were charged, and the intense passion burst out.

I think having 'bodies' twice in one sentence is a little repetitive.

*BulletR*I thrust and a single wave of pleasure is felt throughout her body, twice more and I see her begin to bite her lip.
I thrust and and I see her begin to bite her lip.

This sentence didn't sit right for me; it's told from his point of view so we, as a reader, wouldn't know what she felt.

*BulletV*Looking back to her face I see look that clearly sends me the message that she was ready once again.
Looking back to her face I see look that clearly sends me the message that she is ready once again.

This piece is written in the present tense but this puts it into the past.




Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
590
590
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey I've had this saved in my list of items to read until I had a chance to come and read it. The social media aspect of the piece is what interested me and made me want to read it as I think it's something that often plays too big a part in today's society.

*Pencil*Storyline: Liz reads on a Facebook status that her partner's nephew has been killed in a house fire. Both distraught, they begin researching only to find it wasn't real. Confused, Liz searches again and finds the status and then... she wakes up! And then, the phone call comes...

The 'I woke up and it was all a dream' scenario. Hehe. It's been done a lot but it's been a while since I've seen it done so it was a good read. However, I'm not sure whether it was a premonition.

Your piece offers a good commentary on social media and how things can be portrayed or misinterpreted.

*People*Characters: Liz and Dave are the main characters in this piece. We don't really get to find out what sort of people they are, other than the backstory given, the story is plot driven.

*Home*Setting: The setting takes place in Liz and Dave's home but based in the virtual world.



*Cut**Paste*A few suggestions I had:

Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear *Smile*

*BulletG*“I’m on it. Let’s see it’s 7 AM here so it would be about 4 PM there” he said
“I’m on it. Let’s see it’s 7 AM here so it would be about 4 PM there,” he said

*BulletB*-I’ll Google it”
-I’ll Google it.”

*BulletR*“I don’t know Mat” Dave said into the receiver.
“I don’t know Mat,” Dave said into the receiver.

I would just say to make sure you have punctuation to end all speech as I noticed in a few places there were none.



Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
591
591
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey I've had this piece saved in my list of things to read until I got the time to come and read it! I think what interested me was the social media aspect of it, something that is a constant in our lives today (whether we want it or not).

*Pencil*Storyline: This is a really well written piece for being so short. We see a stereotypical Western duel type scene and watch it unfold as they square up and one survives while the other doesn't.

I didn't see this contest but I was just wondering how it worked. Twitter is 140 characters right? So you had to write this in 140 words?

*People*Characters: We don't really get a grasp of the characters in this piece.

*Home*Setting: The setting of this piece is a Western town where a traditional duel is taking place.

*Ghost*Atmosphere/tone: I think you set the atmosphere in this piece so well. You use a variety of description and views of the senses that the reader knows exactly what is going on.



*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!




Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
592
592
Review of Map of My Port  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!



*Checkg*What I liked:

This Map of your Port is definately a very good idea. It lets people who are browsing through your port know where they are and find things easily. I think that's positive as often I find myself wandering in search of fiction and all I can find it poetry!

The only thing I would suggest is having an update session as several of the links lead to Invalid Item. Apart from that, a great idea!




Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
593
593
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey I'm here to return a review you did for me! I had a browse through the map of your port and this title immediately caught my eye, so here I am!

*Pencil*Storyline: What an interesting and original piece. This tells of a futuristic world where our soldiers and the civilians have their memories erased after witnessing something traumatic, so they do not feel responsible for anything they have done and are not accountable.

*People*Characters: Our protagonist sits in the Tavern recording her memory before it will be erased. I think this is something a lot of people might need to do to know that even though they have no memory, they have had a life.

*Home*Setting: The setting of this piece is futuristic though we don't know where. I think that's fine for a short piece though.



*Cut**Paste*A few suggestions I had:

Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear *Smile*

*BulletG*They ripped my cloths off and took me.
They ripped my clothes off and took me.

*BulletB*I realize that they did no more to me then our own soldiers
I realize that they did no more to me than our own soldiers



Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
594
594
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (2.5)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey I wanted to come and offer you a review in return for the one you did for me. I chose this one because I tend to read fiction and the title and description drew me in, had me wondering what it could all mean.

*Pencil*Storyline: While I can understand what you're doing here, telling a story about Lisa and Ben, once who were lovers, now enemies, the flow of the story confused me. I think the way they speak with each other coupled with not really knowing who is saying what, doesn't help. I also found that there wasn't a real explanation for the reason they weren't talking.

*People*Characters: Lisa and Ben are the main characters in this piece. I find that I know they have a long history but now are natural enemies. Lisa is the cop and Ben, why is he in trouble? Is it because of the drugs?

*Home*Setting: You set the scene well with the description you use.

*BurstR*Dialogue: I mentioned the dialogue above but I would also just say sometimes it doesn't flow very naturally. Try reading it aloud and see how it sounds.


*Cut**Paste*A few suggestions I had:

Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear *Smile*

*BulletG*"So Lisa, What is it that you've got to say?",
"So Lisa, what is it that you've got to say?"

The 'w' in what doesn't need to be a capital as it's still in the same sentence. Also, you don't need the comma after the speech marks because you end the speech inside the speech marks with a question mark.

*BulletB*"No!! I don't understand Ben!!!", shrieked the feminine roar.
"No! I don't understand Ben!" shrieked the feminine voice.

You only need one ending punctuation mark at each sentence. Also, the word roar for me felt a little bit uncomfortable.

*BulletR*What do we expect from each other is quite clear.
What we expect from each other is quite clear.

*BulletV*She pulled herself out of his grips
She pulled herself out of his grip



Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
595
595
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey, I'm here with a review of your piece for the Contest of Firsts!


*Checkg*What I liked:

This was a really nice piece. You tell the reader of your joy on receiving your first bike. We go the journey with you, experience the toil and hard work it takes to restore the bike with your dad. What nostalgia *Smile*

The descriptions you use bring it to life and help the reader experience it with you which is great! Thank you for sharing this with us!

*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!





Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
596
596
Review of Shiny Blue Bike  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey Pat I'm here with a review of this piece for a Contest of Firsts!


*Checkg*What I liked:

This was a really nicely written piece that takes the reader through your memory of your first bike. You tell it right from the beginning from the thought of having it, to saving for it, to getting it on Christmas day and the memories that brings! It showed me a part of your past that you clearly cherish and I thank you for sharing this with us *Smile*


*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!




Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
597
597
Review of Awardicon Envy  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey, I'm with a review in return for the one you did for me! I think I chose this one because of the writing.com reference, it made me ---> *Smile*


*Checkg*What I liked:

I don't read very much poetry so please bear with me! This was a really well written piece that made me grin a lot! Your stanzas flow nicely and fit together and the rhymes all feel natural. I feel your envy alright! The emotions come through strong in this piece.

Well done on a well written piece!


*Cut**Paste*A few suggestions I had:

Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear *Smile*

*BulletG*would not serve as toliet paper.
would not serve as toilet paper.




Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
598
598
for entry "Me and Jasper" 
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: Hey Dave, I'm here with a review of this piece that you wrote for the Writers Garden Contest *Smile*

*Pencil*Storyline: What an interesting story! We hear it from the protagonists point of view and learn about his friend Jasper Riley, the guy who was a bit wimpy when they hung out as kids together. Turns out though, our protagonist gets pulled into court for a robbery and when he is brought in front of the judge, who should it be but Judge Riley! What an interesting twist that I didn't see coming *Smile*

*People*Characters: We don't have a name for the main character and that is the only thing I would suggest. Other than that, I think you've create a very believable and memorable character here. Even in the way he speaks his personality comes across!




*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!





Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
599
599
Review of From The Cats  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey, I'm here with a little review for your collection of c-notes!


*Checkg*What I liked:

This was a really sweet collection all touching the heart. You have a lot of really cute cats (I aspire one day to have so many!) and the way you have photographed them is really original. You also use really good captains with them as well which made me giggle, I hope I can certainly use some of these soon! *Smile*


Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
600
600
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey I came across this piece in the sponsored items of the horror section. The title drew me in because it suggested to me the simplicity of making a vampire and I like that!

*Pencil*Storyline: This tells the story of Lana and Evan, who stop by in the wrong bar and are harrassed by a group of bikers. In a scary situation, Evan tries to toughen up and threatens them but to no avail. It ends up being Lana who saves the day and kills the vampires who were after them through a secret talent she has...

*People*Characters: Evan, I think, is a bit older than Lana and really likes her. He wants to impress his date and stands up to the bikers, something I get the impression he would not normally do. He is a confident person but not stupid though he appears to be a little reckless while trying to impress.

I found Lana to be a really interesting character. On the outside, she appears to be a young, weak woman. Someone who could not protect herself. But on the inside, she is a powerful witch, one who will do anything to save herself and her friends. I like the juxtaposition between her two different sides.

*Home*Setting: The setting of this piece is a biker bar they probably shouldn't have been in and knowing this it immediately began to set the scene so well done for that.

*Ghost*Atmosphere/tone: This piece has quite a dark atmosphere but it lightens towards the end and that works for me!



*Cut**Paste*A few suggestions I had:

Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear *Smile*

*BulletG*“No, you were a perfect gentleman,” Svetlana grabbed his hand
“No, you were a perfect gentleman.” Svetlana grabbed his hand

This is an action tag so I would suggest a full stop instead of a comma.




Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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