Wow, what a beautiful poem! I'm pretty new to WdC, and so far I have written exactly ONE poem (with a very simple meter and rhyme pattern) about a childhood experience. I certainly haven't written anything that compares with this poem of yours, but I will still do my best to give you a meaningful review:
Overall Impression/Emotional Impact: I have to admit this poem brought a tear to my eye. In fact, with each successive reading--for me, it helps to read poems multiple times--I come that much closer to breaking down and weeping. (I had to stop reading it in order to salvage my manliness!) The poem makes me think of the deepest possible loss, ultimately overshadowed by the eternal enormity of the ever-so-brief gift of love. I hope that makes sense.
Form, Format, Rhyme, Meter (as applicable): My own poem is too mechanical, I fear, and too repetitive in its cadence. In your poem, I see a wonderful example of a more natural form, a meter that is clearly present yet is willing to bend to the meaning of the words. Although flexible in its flow, the poem always stays within its banks, never spilling over.
Artistic Voice and Imagery: Clearly written from the heart, your voice shines. There is not a lot of what I would consider to be poetic imagery (the shining moon being the best possible exception), but there are so many different types of poetry, and this poem shines on its own.
Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: I personally see no problems at all. Some might comment on the minimal punctuation, but hey!, this is poetry!, and I really like the choices you made.
Suggestions: I'm sorry I'm not being more helpful. We all want reviews that will help us learn and grow, but I'm afraid I like this poem too much. Fortunately, there are other readers on this site who are willing to tear things to pieces for our benefit.
Final Thoughts: This poem is simply beautiful. I hope you have started looking around for some contests to enter. Don't worry about winning them (although you just might!); they are really out there to help with establishing relationships with other writers, and with getting people to see your own writing.
My Standard Disclaimer: When it comes to writing, I'm only a student, and this is your poem, so if you chewed on my opinion and it doesn't taste right, just consider the source and spit it out!
Thank you. I love happy endings. I wish I could be more helpful, but I'm very new to WdC (and to the idea of writing seriously), so I'm mostly just trying to learn from writers like you. This will be only my second review on the site, and I know they want me to be as critical as possible, but I can't give fewer than five stars to this little story about Heather.
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/justbuz
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.08 seconds at 9:35pm on Dec 22, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
Overall Impression/Emotional Impact: I have to admit this poem brought a tear to my eye. In fact, with each successive reading--for me, it helps to read poems multiple times--I come that much closer to breaking down and weeping. (I had to stop reading it in order to salvage my manliness!) The poem makes me think of the deepest possible loss, ultimately overshadowed by the eternal enormity of the ever-so-brief gift of love. I hope that makes sense.
Form, Format, Rhyme, Meter (as applicable): My own poem is too mechanical, I fear, and too repetitive in its cadence. In your poem, I see a wonderful example of a more natural form, a meter that is clearly present yet is willing to bend to the meaning of the words. Although flexible in its flow, the poem always stays within its banks, never spilling over.
Artistic Voice and Imagery: Clearly written from the heart, your voice shines. There is not a lot of what I would consider to be poetic imagery (the shining moon being the best possible exception), but there are so many different types of poetry, and this poem shines on its own.
Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: I personally see no problems at all. Some might comment on the minimal punctuation, but hey!, this is poetry!, and I really like the choices you made.
Suggestions: I'm sorry I'm not being more helpful. We all want reviews that will help us learn and grow, but I'm afraid I like this poem too much. Fortunately, there are other readers on this site who are willing to tear things to pieces for our benefit.
Final Thoughts: This poem is simply beautiful. I hope you have started looking around for some contests to enter. Don't worry about winning them (although you just might!); they are really out there to help with establishing relationships with other writers, and with getting people to see your own writing. 
My Standard Disclaimer: When it comes to writing, I'm only a student, and this is your poem, so if you chewed on my opinion and it doesn't taste right, just consider the source and spit it out!