\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/kathymcmahon
Review Requests: OFF
5 Public Reviews Given
10 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of Mountain Madness  Open in new Window.
Review by Kathy M Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
ID #1015231

Hi,

I think this has the potential to be a great story. It has a facinating plot of two killers trapped in a snow storm NEXT to a wealthy resort area. I'd suggest, however, that the author needs to tightened up. I'd also suggest more character development. Maybe take more time to talk about the killers' hit first. A conversation or two. I'd also say that in a $400 a night place, the killers would find more than a couple of hundred dollars.

You may want to help the readers to realize that the escapees were as trapped by the snow as the vacationers. That isn't made clear here.

A few editorial remarks:

"agencies where looking for two escapees" were looking?

Their goal was to find a way off the mountain, but they learned to much despair that there was still no way off the mountain.

You might want to tighten this sentence.
1 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/kathymcmahon