I enjoyed this piece, the first paragraph it draws you in with it's imagery and I found it quite emotional as a whole.
The first and last paragraph are definitely the strongest, they make the piece. The first paragraph clearly sets the scenario and draws the symbolism between death and sunset which is carried on and tied up in the final paragraph. The continuation was good. The loss of the young woman's mother and the sun setting at the same time was quite a powerful image, that feeling of emtiness and the loss of heat and colour.
There are only two sections that I would recommend relooking, the second paragraph and the second last paragraph. The second paragraph I found a bit disorientating, trying to figure out where ever one is; again with the transition of the daughter from outside of the room back into it.
On the whole I liked it stylistically, a little bit of polishing would go a long way to make it so much better than it already is.
I really hope this helps!
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