firstly i would start by congradulating you, you are a great story teller> I was inspired to read your work and it made me to believe that it takes commitment and concentration to be a great writer. I wish i could tell you where to improve but i would be lying because everything seems just fine. Sometimes it is tiring to read long stories but with this one i was able to connect with the story from the beginning to the end. As you may know that in writing the is always a room for improvement i would say you can only get better.
first i would say the story is catching, even though i felt tired to read the whole story as i started to read i could not stop since the story gives you that vibe to want to know what is going to happen next.
the ending of the story however is not energetic and does not give the reader that enthusiam to ask whether is there part two, all in all the story was great , your use of grammer was perfect but i would recommend that next time you write use more of metaphors and synonyms as they set a drama and keeps the reader intrigued on what he or she is reading. i found it very haard to understand the theme of the story so try to explain the title throughout the story. I really enjoyed the story but i believe the is room for improvement.
Firstly i would star with the Title, looking at the title i thing you should have written more about it because we leave in a world were handicapped people are being treated with less dignity. Moving to the body of the text, i think it is very short and does not allow you to trully express what you want to say. The ending would have been more appropriate if showed the value of handicapped people in our communities. Overall i think it is great.
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/kilosl
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 9:20pm on Dec 17, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
