I really love the basis of your story and the character Sly. I did have a few points to make for your consideration. If you have any questions feel free to msg me anytime.
Try to not use the name Sly as often. I saw several points that it would have been easier and perhaps better for you to simply say he or him.
You also often cap the word vault and though you are speaking of a specific vault it is not nessacary to cap it each time.
You and I have this error in common Comma Splicing. I do it so much I have to go back and re-write easily half of what I have written. Check here for help with that;
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.06 seconds at 6:43pm on Nov 05, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
