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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/lesbaker
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6 Public Reviews Given
24 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by Leslie Baker Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your poem brought tears to my eyes. I have 3 teenaged sons and try very hard to make up time I did not have when they were younger. I also like Cat Stevens song.

Suggestions to improve: Only one small thing: Blue is hard to read for my "older" eyes. Though the color says something about the mood of the poem.

Your last lines made the poem for me.

Les
2
2
Review by Leslie Baker Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Noelle!

I found your portfolio: Thanks!

My impression of your piece is wow! Usually I can grasp the ending of a story before the end. You had me convinced this was a little girl. Well done.

One suggestion: change "I didn’t realized" to "I didn’t realize".

For a short piece this is good. If you "flesh it out" you may want to add something more before "My beautiful twin..." for transitional flow. Also why is the helper have unperceptive eyes?

I enjoyed the piece and laughed outloud at the ending.
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