To all the souls brave enough to lay their hearts upon the empty page, I offer a field of daisies in which to romp. For it is in this field, that imagination takes flight and ideals shall be born. Step into the field of creativity and soar to heights yet unattained.L.A. Grawitch
Hello! I found your story at WDC. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.
Overall Impression: This is a very heart wrenching story that grips the reader and compels them to read on. It is a personal exploration of an incredibly painful experience. It exposes the raw pain of the writer as she remembers the sorrowful time in her life. The writer manages to turn the grief into a process of healing and hope for the future. She draws on the coping mechanisms of her lost angel to guide her forward.
Plot: The plot is straight forward and the loss is poignant and real.Like a roller coaster ride, the writer takes the reader from worry to loss, and onto hope. It offers a glimpse at the pain experienced by mothers who lose a child.
Style and Voice: There is one voice and it is dominating and strong in its reflection of a painful time in a woman's life. The details are explicit and vivid, adding truth and realism to the story.
Scene/Setting:The settings are clear and concise, painting a vivid picture for the reader.
Characters: The characters are strong and easy to identify with on a personal level. The reader feels the anguish of loss through the writer's portal.
Dialog: Realistic and adds needed detail to the story
Grammar and Mechanics:I love the style and many descriptive terms used. Your use of clauses and action verbs make the picture clear and easy to vision There is no easy way to find the road back from grief. It is a personal journey and one never forgotten. I identified easily with your story, having had many miscarriages years ago. I will never forget the pain and sense of failure. Everyone I knew made having a baby look like such a simple thing, yet I couldn't. It drove me crazy thinking that I had done something wrong until I found strength in my faith, family, and friends The rainbow always lies hidden waiting for us to discover it in our own backyard. Thank you for sharing your story.
Suggestions: One error noted that may need attention: but iI was unaware that birth and death could coincide
To all the souls brave enough to lay their hearts upon the empty page, I offer a field of daisies in which to romp. For it is in this field, that imagination takes flight and ideals shall be born. Step into the field of creativity and soar to heights yet unattained.L.A. Grawitch
Hello! I found your story at WDC. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.
Overall Impression: I love the emotional content and impact of the characters in this story.You paint a very vivid picture of pain and vulnerability of both the child and the dog. It is easy to become involved in the story and feel their emotions. The reader starts to question the circumstances of the child's life and causes them to wonder if the child knows the same kind of pain as the dog. The reader wants the child to find the strength to rise up in support of the dog but sadly she doesn't have the tools or resources to help her.
Plot: I love the story line and the message it relays. It has a beginning and an end that leaves the reader wanting more.
Style and Voice: There are two clear voices, the dog with his pain and pleading of relief, and the child's voice of empathy and vulnerability.
Scene/Setting: The location is labeled and well defined. It is easy to picture the scene.
Characters: There is reality and emotion to all of the characters. The reader is easily vested in the outcome of the story. It is a very touching story that leaves the reader wanting the characters to find an inner strength or more importantly love in each other.
Dialog: One line noted. Simple and realistic
Grammar and Mechanics: There are areas within the story that need attention with grammar and mechanics. I will tell you that I personally stink at commas. We all have our strength's and weaknesses, but always it helps to reread a story aloud to yourself. You, as the writer, will hear the places that need a little tweaking. Sometimes asking a friend to read the story helps.
Suggestions: Sometimes, using longer sentences(combining the ideas of two or three sentences into one powerful sentence} and more descriptive terms makes the story blossom. Active verbs and visual adverbs can make a story pop. Your story is great and conveys an empathetic message. Thank you for letting me read your story.
It is so inspiring when you have a minister or speaker that gets the message across. Jesus preached love and forgiveness in all that he did. However, it seems to be a different story when it comes to the Roman Soldier or even Judas for that matter. Forgiveness is easier said than done. Living like Christ each day is not an easy task. I liked your story as a reminder of faith. It is wonderful that there are still people going the extra mile to teach the goodness of Jesus. In Jesus' death, we are sorrowful and even angry at the people who caused it but there was a purpose for us all.
I love poetry. You have captured the scene beautifully. You represented the artistry of colors with your words. It made me feel like I was on a cliff beside you. Very well done.
A very good sentimental piece about family. The older we get the history of our heritage seems even more important. The impact on our lives, even though distant, is phenomenal. Be proud of who he was and how he touched your life.
This is a very well done poem. The message is clear with such heartfelt wording.
The breaking up of the stanzas adds clarity and dimension. The title says it all bluntly in true fashion. Good job!
So very cryptic and sad. The poem is beautiful and descriptive. Your words paint the pain clearly. I like the division of the stanzas as it adds to the mood and drama of the piece. Very well done.
First off, this poem is filled with wonderful thoughts and insight. I wish everyone could see this poem. It speaks a volume of truth. So let me thank you for that part of it. The rhyme is perfect and the format is stylish. Your choice of words are descriptive and enhance the poetry style well. Good job all the way around on this poem!
Love This. Very touching the way you describe feeling God's presence. The description of having to disconnect from everything weighing us down to really know that he is there. I like how you compared the feeling to the music. The feeling is a melody for peace in our lives. Great job!
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