I'm afraid I cant really give a constructively critical review of poetry as I have no idea about it really. But I did enjoy reading it! the ending was a nice wee surprise.
Nice moment. The content and writing is fine, but you could go into a little more detail about how it makes her feel if you wanted to expand the piece. It could do with a paragraph adjustment, in my opinion. The first paragraph includes a couple of ideas and also jumps from present moment to different thoughts and memories and could do with making that a little clearer. I would suggest the following:
Shayne stepped out into the cold and shivered. Her thin coat and wet clothes were no help at all against the cold wind and snow. Stepmother had sent her out for firewood, instead of sending one of her own sons, Edward or Timothy.
Some days after hard labor, Shayne wished that her stepmother would just drop dead. Then she would immediately repent and tell herself that Beatrice deserved life just as much as every other sinful being. Shayne still got sick of the treatment. Back when mom was alive, Shayne filled her days with stitching and weaving and cleaning clothes and warming herself by the fire, not helping to build it.
Ever since mom’s death, Shayne had felt an empty place in her heart. Beatrice always gave Shayne the hardest and most miserable jobs—like digging a path through the snow, bringing in firewood, and even bringing in ice from the lake to be used as drinking water, bath water, and dish water, which Shayne would have to melt as well, after working in the freezing cold to dislodge the piece of ice—as well as her usual chores.
Shayne trudged her way through the snow. She followed the path through the trees. Sometimes she gazed in wonder at how they looked so much like an archway in a garden. Now the branches were bare except the snow piled on top of them.
But I'm certainly not an expert on paragraphing, its just my opinion. Generally good, and well done for writing!
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