The tempo of this piece, along with its tone, sings to the reader of the passion that the poet feels for all things musical. There is little, if anything that I would change except the spelling of "Rhythm"! Very cool poem!
The beginnings of a good piece here! Were it mine, I would flesh it out some and add plenty of visual cues to the overall feeling of the poem. I like the structure as is, but it would also work well if formed into four-line stanzas, just my opinion though!
This poem combines sadness, passion, and hope together in one package! Although death is spoken of, it is not paramount in the poems' content, nor in the poets' concern, only being remembered as something, or someone, beautiful. This poem has much to be admired!
A very sincere and moving piece with great flow and eye-catching imagery. The form is well-structured, and the poem grabs the readers' attention from the very first line. All of these things combine to make this a poem of noteworthy distinction! Very well-penned indeed!
Now this is what I call a powerful piece of writing! It isn't often that one finds a poem on subject matter that one can readily relate to, but this one speaks loudly to me and says, "Been there, done that"! Great stuff!
I love the theme of this poem but feel as though it could be stretched out a bit and developed into something a little more tangible for the reader to grab onto. That is not to say it is not a good piece, it most certainly is, just needs something else. What? I'm not sure!
I first must say an encouraging "Amen"! As a Vietnam Veteran, I deeply appreciate moving and grateful verses written for our men at arms. This poem is an exceptional tribute to those who put their lives on the line everyday for our welfare and continued prosperity. A well-written piece worthy of many reads!
Intriguing theme that draws the readers' attention. The imagery is good, but could be made even better with a little more imaginative word usage. The structure is okay as is, but in my mind, would be better if broken into shorter, more powerful lines. Very good piece though!
A very good "First Poem". Were it me, I would study a few more kinds of poetry and perhaps alter the form a bit to make it flow more naturally. This is just my opinion and not anything etched in stone! Just trying to be helpful. The content of this piece is excellent and it shows great promise!
A truly memorable piece of poetry full of truth, honesty, and sincere emotion. This poem has it all, vivid imagery, smooth flow, and superb language use to boot! A delightful poem to read and re-read just to share the feelings of the poet! Impressive!
Interesting traditional poem with lots of Shakespearean imagery and poetic passion! It is rare to see such devotion to form these days in poems, and I am pleased to have the opportunity to read such work! I certainly hope to see more in the near future!
I like the tone of this poem, but feel that it could be made more memorable by beefing up the content and spending a bit more time on word choices. All in all, it is still a pretty good piece of writing and stands out amongst others I have read.
I thank you, sir, for writing this excellent poem commemorating Veterans Day. As a Vietnam Vet myself, I am always grateful when I see that there are others who think of those who died and those who served with pride, again, thank you! Lon R. Bruso US Army 1964 to 1971.
A refreshing read, easy to digest, and full of spiritual awareness. The flow of the piece is quite good, the imagery also, and it seems to have a feel of truthfulness throughout. All in all, I would have to say that this poem ranks among the best I have so far read on this site.
Good premise here, and the writer shows a modicum of poetic skill in how the verses are arranged. As far as depth, I would recommend less focus on the nurture and more on the nature of the piece. This one could really be a winner if played with a bit more!
A well thought out story-poem that has good rhyme and meter but seems to be a bit off center due to its lack of power. It's good as far as it goes, but needs something to give it a bit more oomph and pizzazz! Perhaps focusing more on continuity and not focusing quite so hard on forcing the rhyme, might solve the problem!
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