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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/lutz06
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261 Public Reviews Given
282 Total Reviews Given
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In affiliation with Rainbow Madness ~ Reviews and...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*RainbowL* *RainbowR* ~~~Hi judity You are receiving this review on behalf of Rainbow Madness-Reviews and Upgrades. Anything that is said in this review is my opinion and you may do with the suggestions as you wish.~~~*RainbowL* *RainbowR*



*NoteV* PLOT - I loved the plot of this story. Who doesn't love chocolate, right?
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*NoteR* SETTING - The setting was great. I could picture her eating and enjoying the chocolate.You painted a wonderful picture for your readers as far as being able to taste, touch and feel along with your character. Great job. Well written.

*NoteG* CHARACTERS - I found your character believable, Who hasn't sat down and savored a really good piece of chocolate?

*NoteO* GRAMMAR/SPELLING/DIALOGUE - I found no spelling or errors in grammar. Again well written.

*NoteR* MY POV - My over all opinion goes as follows. This is a wonderful story, which kept me interested from beginning to end. Like i said everyone loves chocolate... hehe and if they don't they are missing out. My favorite part of the story is when she drifts back and remembers what each candy filled center meant to her as a child. Very nice.

Again this is a wonderful little short story . I have no suggestions to change anything. very well written. Great writing. Good luck.

Rainbow Madness Leader.
Lutzy

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Review of Solitude  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Rainbow Madness ~ Reviews and...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi ronjsquared. I'm giving you this review on behalf of Rainbow Madness. Keep in mind anything that i say within this review is strictly my opinion and you may doe with it as you please.

First off what can i say but WOW....I try to pick stories of interest to me and this one really stood out. It was so real and so true and to the point. The feelings you expressed were genuine as if the story was yours.....But i won't assume. I just thinks it's amazing how you pretty much caught every idea and every facet of the disease ... Clinical Depression is like most Mental Diseases still very hard to define and the stigma that goes along with it is... well disheartening to say the lest....

Anyway keep up the great writing.
lutzy

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Review of Insanely Sane  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Rainbow Madness ~ Reviews and...  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
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Hi iamwhoiam. You are receiving this review as part of a six review port raid from Rainbow Madness on behalf of your Secret Santa.

First off i have to say that this poem brought tears to my eye's. As i do know people who suffer from Bipolar Disorder and other Mental illnesses. You captured what many of them go through on a daily basis very well. The emotions are strong within each individual. Sometimes not knowing which way to turn... Again you did a great job in describing the illness.

Thank you for sharing this poem with us...Anyone who has or knows of someone who does can relate.

Thank you and keep writing.
Lutzy
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Review of The Silent Tears  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Rainbow Madness ~ Reviews and...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Cal, I'm giving you this review on behalf of Rainbow Madness Reviews and Upgrades.

first i'd like to say thank you for sharing this poem. although I'm NOT a poet, I do on occasion enjoy reading good poetry. i found this poem to be one of the better one's. As it speaks to the reader especially if they have or are suffering with depression. it isn't a fun topic to talk about by any means. But it's still there in people's lives.

You did a wonderful job in describing what a person feels or thinks when depressed. Nice picture. I wouldn't change anything within the poem it's self. The only suggestion I have is to put it on the plug page for more people to read. *Smile*

Again very nicely done. and keep up the great writing...

Oh and congrats on the Marriage. *Smile*

Lutzy

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Review of Hope  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Rainbow Madness ~ Reviews and...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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Hello once again.Once again you are being reviewed by Rainbow Madness Reviews and Upgrades, on behalf of your Secret Santa. this is number sic in your gifted port raid of six items.

Once again a great job in writing and expression. I wasn't quite sure what the poem was about until the last paragraph or so and then it dawned on me and the whole poem made sense. A prisoners sign of hope being that tiny sliver of sunlight as it entered their cell. Very well done. I couldn't find anything to change. it was very good. Thank you for sharing your writing with all of WDC. It's been a pleasure reviewing your port .

Have a Happy Holiday Season.
Lutzy
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In affiliation with Rainbow Madness ~ Reviews and...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hi again. This is number four of 6 reviews. You are receiving this review from Rainbow Madness on behalf of you Secret Santa.

First off I'd like to say that this was a very fun read. I enjoyed it from beginning to end. Not many stories hold my attention from start to finish and this one did. nicely done.

Description: I found the description well done and i couldn't find any place that needed additions.

Plot: Nice plot. I loved it. Again i found nothing to change.

Characters: Cute loved the character's. nicely done.

Grammar: I could find no no errors in grammar or punctuation.

Over all this is a great a story and i really enjoyed reading it. Again keep up the great writing and i look forward to reading more.

Keep writing.
Lutzy
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Review of The WDC Review  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hi again fyndorian. This is 3 of 6 of your gifted port raid. You are receiving this review from Rainbow Madness on behalf of your Secret Santa.

I have one word..... AWESOME! We do all review from time to time and it can be very daunting at times to say the least. I found this poem about WDC reviewing rather comical... how many of us run contests and such and veel like we've fallen in to endless void of review's.... ? hehehe Again I loved reading this. Keep up the good work

Write on!
Lutzy

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Review of The Briar Rose  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.5)

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Hi fyndorian. You are receiving this review from Rainbow Madness on behalf of your Secret Santa. Anything that is said with in this review is strictly my opinion and you may do with it as you please.

First off I'd like to say that I'm NOT a poet but i do love reading poetry on occasion and when i find a piece that stands out i like giving review's. . This poem to me stood out,. It caught my eye> All though I wish the image was still there with the poem. I could see the picture that you, yourself painted. I love reading it...

A very nice well written poem about love and loss and memories....Keep up the wonderful poem's I'll be reading more in the near future... good luck and keep writing...

Lutzy

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Review of The Feast  Open in new Window.
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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi E. Jones, I'm giving you this review on behalf of the Tales from the Dark Side Contest. Anything that i say in this review is strictly my opinion and you may do with it as you please. With that being said my review goes as follows.

I have to say this is a very good story. I was quite impressed. I enjoyed reading it and it kept me interested from the beginning to the end. the character was believable and you painted a wonderful picture within the story for the reader to see and follow. I found no errors.

Keep up the great writing and good luck in this round. Also i hope to see another entry for the Special Halloween addition. Again good luck in round two. Thanks for letting me read this..

lutzy

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Review of Spider  Open in new Window.
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Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi Everanon, I'm giving you this review on behalf of the Tales from the Dark Side Contest. Anything that I say within this review is strictly my opinion and you may do with it as you please. With that being said my review goes as follows.

Plot: The plot was good. (i'm not a fan of spiders...hehe) But again it was a good read.

Character's: Vague detail I would have like to have seen more character description.

Dialogue: There was very little dialogue in this story. I like stories that have more character interaction. ( That's just MY personal opinion.)

Grammar: I caught no spelling or punctuation errors.

Over all: This is a good story. A nice read. Keep up the good writing. And good luck, hope to see you next round.

lutzy

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Review of Monster Justice  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Tales from the Dark Side  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
Hi lock I'm giving you this review on behalf of the Tales from the Dark Side contest. Anything that i say with in this review, is strictly my opinion and you may do with whatever suggestions that are made as you please. With that being said my review goes as follows.

Description: I found very little, if any true description. What i look for most in any story is description and I'm not seeing it. any where within the story.

Character description; The character's within the story are very cold and lack emotion. Again i see no actually character description.

Plot: I didn't understand the premise of this story in the least.

Over all impression. This story lacks emotion , it needs a great deal of work, mainly with characters and description. These things can easily be fixed. I'd like to see this story rewritten. And i will give it another review in the future.

Keep writing and good luck....I'd also like to see another entry in the next round. have a good day

Lutzy

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Review of War of the Sunset  Open in new Window.
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Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi Queen, I'm giving you this review on behalf of the Tales from the Dark Side contest.. Anything that i say with in this review is strictly my opinion and you may do with it as you please. With that being said my reviews goes as follows.

I really enjoyed reading this short story. It was very well written, I wouldn't change anything within the story. It was great through and through. Ivy was a very believing character and her courage and strength throughout the story was wonderfully written.

My favorite line ; Ivy thought to herself how ironic it was that you could trust Death more than you could trust Humanity.

Over all impression; This is a great story with little need if any for improvement. Keep up the great writing . I look forward to you next entry. and good luck in this round.

Lutzy

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Review of Broken Promises  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Sid, I'm giving you the review on behalf of Chatterbox Review Central. Anything that I say in this review is strictly my own opinion and you may do with the suggestions what you will.

First off i have to say i write very little poetry, but I do love to read it. I found this poem very well written. The theme was great, Broken Promises told the story of lost love of a mans broken heart. Mostly we hear about the woman's side so this was a nice change. I have now suggestions for change this was really good. Keep up the great writing.

Lutzy

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Review of Love Lost Refound  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi shadowhawke, I'm giving you this review on behalf of Chatterbox Review Central.
Anything i say in this review are strictly MY opinions and you may do with them as you see fit.

I liked this poem. The flow of the piece was very nice. It had a very nice message behind it. About taking something and finding the love within. Very nicely done.
Keep on writing and good luck.

lutzy

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In affiliation with Rainbow Madness ~ Reviews and...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi Aralls, I'm giving you this review on behalf of Chatterbox Review Central. Anything i say in this review are strictly my opinions and you may do with them what you will.

This is a great start to what sounds like could be a really good book. or short story.

The emotions you have given the mother makes the reader feel as if they are part of the story.

The description is very well done.

The plot of having a child with metal illness was well thought out.

The character's in just the short bit you have written are very well described.

My thoughts i wouldn't change anything thus far. I', looking forward to reading more on this story.

Keep up the great writing.

lutzy

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Review of Good Conversation  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi aralls, Im giving you this review on behalf of Simply Positive Group

I have to say your characters made me laugh. I loved the sarcastic wit of kyra it reminds me of some people I know. LOL! The spin you put on the end was priceless. Just goes to show that not only women can play games when it comes to dating/romance.

All in all a very good piece. i would have liked to have seen the day after though. LOL would make for a great continuation of this story at a later date.

good luck in the contest and keep up the great writing.

lutz06

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Review of Are We There Yet?  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi again Blueye's. I'm giving you another review on behalf of Simply Positive Group.

Not a bad little short story you have here. With a few minor tweaks it could be a very good short story. Mostly the errors are just a few miss placed words or letters. Nothing major.

A deep sob escaped me, causing my Aunt Debby to turn in her seat and cast me yet another of her looks. I (cut the I at the end)

I sat back in my seat and pondered how I could possibly be related to these people when we ( we should be they) were so obviously different then I.

Like i said it's mostly little things that take away from the story. Nothing major just a bit of clean up here and there.

The description and detail into the father's character were great. The other Characters as well.

The ending was unexpected as the whole time I assumed it was a birthday party not a funeral. So you did a very good job there. I believe you used the words correctly, I have no clue as to what words were supposed to be used. lol

All in all a good story in need of a few minor adjustment's Great job.. Keep up the good writing and feel free to ask any time for help and i will see what i can do.

"Always Forward"
Lutzy
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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi crafty I'm giving you this review on behalf of Simply Positive.

I have to say i really enjoyed reading this short story about life through the eyes of a dog. Very nicely written it kept the reader's attention through out the story.

I do have a few suggestions but i will email you those at a later time, Nothing major lol Again a very nice read, keep up the great writing and good luck.

lutz06
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Review of Unstoppable  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Foster. Sweet! Loved it. Very nice....Well written and has a good message. Keep on writing and good luck..

Lutzy
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Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi I'm giving this review on behalf of Chatterbox Review Central. Anything i say in this review are strictly my opinions and mine alone, you may do with them as you see fit.

Again another great read, This story held my attention from beginning to end, Character description was good and plot was well set. I have no suggestions other than again give it a good edit to make sure you catch and spelling or punctuation mistakes. All in all a good read. keep up the great writing.

lutz06

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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi i'm giving this review on behalf of Chatterbox Review Central. Any suggetions that i give are mine alone and you may do with them as you see fit.

All in all this is a very good story it held my attention from beginning to end and left me wanting to read more. The characters are well described, The plot is very good. The pace of the story was a bit fast in some areas but still well written. i found a couple of spelling errors when i first read it but when i went back a second time i couldn't find them. GO figure. So really the only suggestion i have is to go back and edit the story. Make sure all spelling and punctuation are correct. All in all a good read , keep up the great writing. lutz06

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Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hi I'm giving this review on behalf of Chatterbox Review Central, Simply Positive and Lutzy's Rebel Reviewers. In giving this review i will offer suggestions take them as you will. Or discard them if you like.

First off this piece is very hard to read, you should double space your paragraphs' in writing it like this there is no distinction from paragraph to paragraph which makes it hard to read and follow. Same with your dialogue separate the dialogue from the paragraphs it makes it much easier to follow.

My personal opinion because i write erotica is that this would be considered an erotica piece. So i would list it under that Genre as well. AND i would give it a rating of 18+ or higher as there is reference to sexual situations in the story. Once you have fixed the paragraph spacing problem i would be more than happy to go back and give you a line by line review. As far as i can see i couldn't find any spelling errors but again very hard to read.

From what i can tell the description is good the characters are well thought out. This could be a great piece when things are straightened out. With a bit of tweaking it could actually be a wonderful written work. So like I said either take my suggestions or don't but would be happy to help if you ask. Keep writing and Good luck.

lutz06

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Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi I'm giving you this review on behalf of Simply Positive and Chapter Recappers. If off I'd like to thank you for sharing this piece with us.

I have to say first off i know very little about chess but what i do know of the game you picked a great analogy. Life IS very much like a chess game. You either win or lose. And as the case maybe many people lose, which is sad to say the least. I think what you are trying to say with this peice basically is to take things as they come, go slow , don't over think things just let life come as it may. And with luck you don't end up running around like a chicken with your head cut off, heading in every direction but the right one. If you are one of the lucky few you end up with a great life with a loving home and family.

Anyway that's the impression i got while reading the piece. I could be wrong. But again a great piece . Keep up the great writing. Hope to read more soon.

Lutz06

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Review of The "Blue" Dragon  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi I'm giving this review on behalf of Chapter Recappers and Simply Positive groups. First off I'd like to thank you for sharing this with us. I have to say this was actually really good. It was very imaginative and made me laugh out loud which i find hard to do for some piece.

The flow of the piece was good i found no spelling or grammar errors. And I liked the bit about the Chihuahua at the end. It's nice to see some writing with a bit of humor in it. Very nicely done keep up the great writing.

A friend of mine once told me that a person will forever be remembered by the words that he/she writes and this one is definitely worth remembering.

Lutzy

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Review of FIGURE IT OUT  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi I'm giving this review on behalf of Simply Positive and Chapter Recappers.

First i have to say since I've never given you a review before that i found this poem awesome. There's not anything bad i can say about it. It actually made me kind of grin. I like the short and sweet version of the description of love. So i have to say this was very good. Keep up the great writing and keep the imagination flowing.

luyzy

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