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Review by M_hardy Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
First off nice story. I have to ask, is the whole story a reflection? The whole time I was reading I was asking myself...is this still reflecting on the past? Just a couple suggestions...when u have dialogue, each new person speaking should start a new paragraph. Also, think about using some comma's to break up some of the longer sentences as they seem to just run on. Overall, I like story. Just needs some tweaking. Keep up the good work.
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