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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/mariah_fraser
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5 Public Reviews Given
19 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by Mariah Fraser Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
A very good poem that I really enjoyed. It provided an interesting perspective on writing. I do how ever have a few suggestions to make.
In the last line of the first stanza, consider changing 'that' to 'what.' I think that the latter would do a better job of holding true to the pattern you set up earlier in the stanza.
In the third stanza the 'to' just before 'arrogant' should be 'too.'
In the second to last line of the fourth stanza, I don't believe that you need the first comma.
Overall a wonderful piece. I hope to read more of your work in the future. So until next time, write on!

Mariah
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Review of it hurts  Open in new Window.
Review by Mariah Fraser Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
A very interesting poem with good flow and word choice. I especially liked the second stanza. I do have a few suggestions to make:
In the third stanza, in lines four and six, 'living' should be 'leaving'.
In the same stanza, in line twelve, the punctuation should probably be a comma before the word 'like' instead of the semicolon after it. Also a comma should follow the last word in each of the next two lines to keep the structure consistent.
Overall it was a very good piece that I enjoyed reading. Write on!

Mariah
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