Very Nicely done info page. It helped quite a bit as I am really really lost am trying to getsomething put together for a contest idea I have in my head.
This is a very nice detailed discription of how to interpret the great feature you have kindly given us here. I love the fact that you do this as it helps to better understand the site and the great many number of features you provide here. Thank you very much for being so knowledgable *tongue*
This is a well written prose about the man you love and want to love for the rest of your life.
The one thing that got to me while reading this was the fact that there is a whole lot of repitition in the poem. I think that this could be reworked and still have the samwe feeling and intent of love and romance.
This is a really good prayer as well as a great way to describe the teenage years. I believe you are right in saying that you want the independence but do not have the wisdom to make some of the choices.
Viv,
This is a wonderful way to describe how a review should be done so that the writer of the piece does not feel degraded or simply pass over a review because of what is said in the review itself.
It is so true that a writer does have mistakes every so often an such so not every single mistakes needs to be pointed out.
What writers want to see in their reviews is a persons impressions thoughts and feelings.
I suggest that if you are reading this very review on the public review page please go read this quick. Now!
Great Job,
Melia
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I know exactly where you are coming from here and I always feel that no one else deserves to be numb as it is a horrible feeling or no feeling whatever the case maybe.
For me my whole body goes numb when depressed and that is my gage that I am in trouble.
Now for the poem itself:
First Stanza line 6 it sounds awkward you might want to re-word it to say:
--I saw the blood through my tears
-- I see the bleeding,
through my streaming tears
Oh wow, This is a great well written poem. The may not be the easiest to tackle. I feel that every single one of uys has something that makes shameful and probably in need of washing ourhands from all the blood. Because we are human no one is perfect and if anyone on earth is to judge another they are in the wrong.
I see nothing wrong with the writing at all. I actually liked how it flowed from one line to the next and from stanza to stanza.
Good piece!
Melia
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Good poem. For me it is so true as I live daily with depression although now I take anti-depressants I still find that I hide inside while smiling on the outside.
You might want to re-work the poem and only place punctuation where it is absolutely needed.
You might want to try and break this up into stanza rather than one long stanza.
Good Writing!
Melia
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I hear the pain when I read this poem. I wish the speaker in the poem did not feel this way but having been there myself I can understand where the feeling comes from.
Stanza three sounds rather awkward. You might want to re-word it a little to reflect that you trusted many but that trust has been crushed into pieces.
I am not sure if this maybe deliberate but you might want to add punctuation into the poem.
Overall realy good reflection of true emotions.
Melia
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This is a must read as it is about the new rewards that are given automatically. If you are like me and are reading this on the public review page then you will be interested to learn about this new review incentive.
Yes, this was covered under the announcements but let us face it many of us are so busy that we may have missed it and thus here it is again.
Very informative and remember that if you you need reviews on anything or simply want morew feedback this is yet another way to get those reviews necessary to satisfy your feedback need.
This is a very nice piece on what it is like substitute teaching. Having never been a substitute I can only relate to all the substutes that I and my classmates put through the wringer.
What can I say? We were bad because that was our job. Although, there were some subs that deserved our misbehavior because they were too harsh and took there job as if they were military sargents.
I even had one sub in high school that used me as the example of what would happen if any more misbehavior happened, even after I had stopped talking, and put my head down on the desk in to keep quiet. So you may be asking what happened to me: I had to go to the my counselor whom I told him what happened and he said that I just needed to go say sorry to the teacher for misbehaving....But I was the only one who got in trouble even though half the class was just as bad as I was.
Anyway, great piece. Good luck in your future classes, if that is what you are still doing.
There are some things that need editing in the "Members of the following group" section there are several groups that no longer exist and thus need to be omitted.
You do keep yourself quite busy . I hope that you don't wear yourself too thin by all this.
If you are currently a stay-at-home mommy I would iencourage you and other SAH mommies to join my group: "Invalid Item" . If you are reading this on the public review page and are a SAH mommy yourself please feel free to contact me as well.
Good Luck Red in everything you endeavor to do with your talent as a writer.
This was a hard survey for me. Hehe, There were two choices I could havechosen from but because I really liked the Book: Where the Red Fern Grows I choose that.
Love the survey idea thougfh. It really is a good idea to find out a persons age.
I wanted to say Gumby? Who's Gumby but I couldn't because I liked him so much. Gumby and Poikey were great.
Whatever happened to the good old cartoons that I grew up on and many of those ummm in their 30s and 40s grew up on. I want those days back so I can enjoy the good cartoons. Bugs Bunny, David and Goliath, GUMBY, Tom and Jerry (which thankfully is on on Cartoon Network) and the like.
If you are looking for great feedback and not just a *snow*that's great. Nice Job*snow* then this is the place to post. I will be coming back here often.
Thank you SM. I love all the work and improvements you have done over the past 6 months.
What a wonderful forum. At one point in my life I had thought about trying my hand at writing lyrics. It looks like the forum is pretty well received and used by many.
Very well written. I feel the pain in the piece. My rating has nothing to do with the very real pain involved in the passing of the dear one in your life.
I rate this solely on the fact that you started out really nice rhyming scheme and it flowed so eloquently but then about half way through it stopped rhyming. It fizzled for me at that point as if you just wanted to get the message out there. Maybe someday when the pain is not fresh or the poem not so fresh in your mind you can go back and work on the piece to improve the flow.
I am so sorry for your loss. I would give you 5 stars on the message as I felt your pain but the rating system does not allow for that and I feel it is being dishonest if just becuse the topic is difficult to approach that I shouuld rate it a 5.
I so wish I had endless amount of money to throw away on this like this. As it is I do not so I can not afford to use this feature. I guess I will just have to finish my first book.
I have to say that you have my kudos for everything you and SM have done over the last 6 months.
I love the idea and I hope maybe that I can help get it moving...I notice that there have been very few posts in the forum, as of late. You need to do some promoting of the group maybe.
The thing you need to do is have a sig created or ask members to put in their sig that they are a member of this fine group. The more people that have links to it in their sig the more people will see it.
By all means, good luck with this fantastic forum.
First of all I think this is a good piece and I do think that this is just the beginning of a story though. It ends so abruptly. I know when you wrote this and hope you edit it as there are many errors that I know you will agree with me on and I assume that you will correct them as soon as you get around to it.
If you really want this would be a really good short story for your eZine, "The World Around Us" if you take the time to really finish the story and change the handles to us real names, not ours of course although I do like the concept of Bessie and cow if she would give permission.
This could be a great story for a halloween type submission. Keep up the story as I don't think it is quite done.
The fact that it had all the errors and the fact that it does not sound finish is why I give it a low rating. Once you finish let me know and I will re-rate it for you. At this point I don't feel that it is your best work but a good start ... Sorry but I believe in honesty. Please edit.
Suggestions:
"Wow! I thought I was going to drop everything all over the drive," Octobers Lie sighed as she dropped the different kinds of bags on a my sofa.
Orions Moon looked around. "At least I think your livingroom is large enough for all of us."
"Yes, and the guys can stay out in the back yard (backyard is one word) in the tent." I motioned for the two to go on into the room as I turned to answer the door again. {c:"red} (awkward sentence)
Standing on the porch were The Milkman with his special bovine (no need to use bovine) Bovine Bessie . "Hi, have room for us?"
"Sure, but I don't think Bessie{should be Bovine Bessie) will be very comfortable in the house." I walked out on the porch. "I thought you guys, excuse me, Bessie, and gal could stay in the tent in the back yard (backyard). Come on." }(I said as)I led them toward the gate at the side of the house.
Before we went through the fence opening, a car drove up and wordstalker has angels and Mongeaux jumped out and started pulling their gear from the back seat. The Milkman and Bessie waited with me until the two men joined us. As soon as I showed them their "room," I told the men to bring their extra gear into the house when they were settled and have some food. (awkward: and watch for Bessie)
"Bessie isn't very happy that the tent isn't big enough for the three of us and her ,(!)" The Milkman informed us as he stacked his plate high with goodies.
"Hi, ladies," I greeted them before going to the kitchen to help Rhianon put out the buffet. (might briefly describe who Rhiannon is -- of course I know but not everybody may)
Everyone{All the women} soon piled in the tiny kitchen to help. By the time the men came in the back door, the food and drinks sat(were) waiting. The men dropped their (extra gear) bags of clothes and shaving equipment in one corner before attacking the buffet.
"Well, I'm not giving up my place for a cow, (use ! instead)" wordstalker has angels retorted.
I would have given you a first place on this one. This was very good and reminds me of what my son (now 7) will do for ice cream. He will actually do anything for dessert, it actally doesn't matter what it is -- it could be plain cookies as long as it is called dessert.
Melia
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First Stanza line 6 it sounds awkward you might want to re-word it to say:
I like that they are somewhat simple but elegant 
What can I say? We were bad because that was our job. Although, there were some subs that deserved our misbehavior because they were too harsh and took there job as if they were military sargents. 
Whatever happened to the good old cartoons that I grew up on and many of those ummm in their 30s and 40s grew up on. I want those days back so I can enjoy the good cartoons. Bugs Bunny, David and Goliath, GUMBY, Tom and Jerry (which thankfully is on on Cartoon Network) and the like. 
I miss them!!!
I feel this is not what many people do but should do
"Wow! I thought I was going to drop everything all over the drive," Octobers Lie sighed as she dropped the different kinds of bags on 
Orions Moon looked around. "
"Yes, and the guys can stay out in the back yard