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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/merril
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7 Public Reviews Given
7 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Sirens' Cove  Open in new Window.
Review by merril allyson Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
I really liked the idea of the witch and the sirens with rules to follow and the simpleton man who manages to fall afoul of their world. Perhaps the red-haired witch is too clichéd?

I did notice some typos that need to be cleaned up. The sentence structure in several places was rough.

The main area that needs work is the ending. To me the story ends a bit abruptly(a familiar problem from my work). It seems to drop into exposition (telling) after all the great dialogue.
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Review by merril allyson Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
Tina, I enjoyed your story very much. Like any good fairy tale, it has a lesson or moral. I especially enjoyed the details such as the beetroot salad.

Some points to consider; work on your sentences. Review the rules for commas in compound and complex sentences and beware of run-on sentences.

Keep writing!
Merril
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