This is a great read! very well done. the hope you present here is so evident and encouraging. Your tone just makes me want to smile and your flow is very good. One very, very minor problem for me was the line "Filled with laughter filled with tears", perhaps there should be a comma between the two ideas? i do not think it will slow down the poem at all. this is merely a suggestion, though. :)
I love this poem! great work. i like the conundrum that you place here with the feelings of wanting to be left alone vs the urgency for help and an end to the turmoil of dperession. When depressed, people all to often want to stay in their depression for many reasons. At the same time, they feel an urgency to want to pain to go away, so you sum up this paradox very well. Thanks for the great read, i can offer no suggestions. :)
This is a great little warm-hearted piece of poetry here. I really enjoyed reading this! The couplet in the end is my favorite part because the flow was remarkable and the rhyme was perfect. The beats were just right on the money. I only have one small problem throughout this entire poem. that is the lines "she's a writer...both skill and flair". It was a bit choppy in its sound and rhythm and i know this is in pentameter, but just saying "myriad" after placing a comma confuses me slightly. Putting the word "a" would fix that problem, but destroy your pentameter. This may just be a personal problem, and others may not see any problem there, so ignore me if this is true. :) overall, this is a great piece. Thanks for sharing!
Great job here! this is stunning, really. I am a big fan of repitition when it is well done and you did it well with "a change is coming" every other stanza. The spiritual underpinnings here are interesting to me, too. My favorite stanza is the third "a change is coming...the birth of the buffalo child" because you really convey a sense of urgency through your well formed diction. Thanks for the great read!
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