Was this a list of the worst U.S cities? Horrible crime rates, overly congested highway systems and some of the most fake people on the planet. They at least have character and history but there are plenty of "nicer" cities.
Good start, you have already given some character to your narrator in only a few short sentences. I would encourage you to continue to write the story just as you have been and when you finish or get stuck then go back and flesh it out a bit, because you are recording the action but it seems to lack some necessary details and description that would help it flow and be more clear. But for starters its great!
Keep up the good work!
At this moment in time corporations exert the most pressure on society (ie, gas prices, your own internet virus theory, subway etc) the earth would be a much differnet placy if people ate more olives.
And although I do believe this to be true you must also take into account the butterfly effect, because that movie sucked and has forever changed mans direction.
You ask some interesting questions, but be careful, if you get too close Subway may send Jarred after you (before he lost the weight he was a hit man called "The Sitter.")
Anyway, any ideas about who starts all of the email Forwards?
That is a great poem. You've hit the right tone and feel for the words and the meaning adn I think as a writer this is the way you should feel because if you want your work to matter you do need to stretch everything. Your writing, your ideas, the ideas about writing and the way you think. I think you are doing this well.
Keep it up.
That was very nice. First the message is great so there's a big plus. Secondly you have succeded at making intersting movement and rythm through the use of the shapes and I think the overall presentation is great. My only suggestion would be to continue to experiment further with this method and push it to it's limits and maybe try some more complex ryhmn schemes next time.
Keep it up!
That's messed up. But in a good writing way. Keep going I want the rest of it! I think I would also need to see more before I can really critque. The story moves very quickly which is good though you may wish to slow down and develope a few of the scenes and emotions before all hell breaks loose...or whatever is about to happen!
Nice.
Your story is depicting a very interesting situation and job. It feels both haunting and subdued and although I like combination I also wonder which way is it really headed. You lay out a lovely dark world of drifting shadows and flickering televisions, faces in windows and blood filled bath tubs but at the same time the imagery is there but the feeling seems to be void of emotion. I realize the characters perspective is one of indifference to his or her peculiar and possibly awful job but you lay such fine ground work of ideas that I would like to see the character have some emotion that would give the scenes more depth and punch while maintaining the drudgery of it all.
Nice job and keep it up!
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