You have written about a man as he searches for true love.He finds that there are many challenges as he makes his way through life. The love of a child is pure but it is not the love that he desires. On his journey he finds brotherly love yet this isn't what he is looking for either. Then he finds God's love which is unconditional and as he looks in a mirror he finds that he can love others this way too. Nicely done
You have shown here how one person might see and deal with a major medical problem. Not knowing what the outcome will be as he tries to stay strong for his wife and understand the full impact of the disease on his life. The picture that you painted is one that most people can relate to. Sometimes the answer is not the one that we want to hear.
The story started with the line: one of the dreams I had longed to come true. We all have hopes and dreams in our lives that we would like to do. As I continued I was pulled in to see what the dream was. The story line flowed, painting a picture of the vampire and girl meeting. Then you ended it with her waking from a dream. That was a nice little twist. Well done
This was a great idea for a story. At first when they placed their bets I was thinking that maybe they were making bets with money but I wasn't sure. Then as I read on the three men became the racers It had me questioning what kind of race it was when two of them didn't make it far in the race. I liked the story.
This first chapter of Turning Point flowed smoothly showing how the life of Joseph Vintros began on a farm and changed as he became a part of the imperial Guard. Describing his unit and the men he fought with. You brought each soldier to life and intertwined their relationship with Joseph. Very well done. I look forward to reading more
I enjoyed reading the poem. It took be back to when I was a young boy lying on a hillside during the summer. IMy friends and I would lay for hours watching the clouds roll by. Using our imagination to see many creatures there. There was one mistake that I noticed. Line 10 says Delicate rainbows and in line 13 it says Subtle as rainbows. Should they be the same or can they be different. I have never done one so I am not sure. Very well done.
The poem shows how man has changed the natural environment in Florida by bringing into the eco system an animal that does not belong. It is sad to say that there are a few people who do not respect our environment. You have shown how this one little thing can change an entire state.
I believe that every parent goes through the empty nest syndrome when the last child leaves home to make their way in the world. We raise our children the best we can, hoping we have taught them enough. But cutting that last string that holds them to us is the hardest thing to do. When they leave we feel helpless. We have done our job and it is time to let them go. A dog or cat can be a way for us to feel needed again. The dog only wants to please us and to be loved. A dog or cat can become a part of the family giving us someone new to love and be loved by. Nicely done
What you have written shows just how far a young child's imagination will go. The little girl allowed her mind to turn a chocoate bunny into a monster which she was afraid of. Her parents did not understand her fear but tried to find a way for her to be able to overcome it.. Well done.
This poem talks about someone who was not prepared at first for the loving relationship that was offered to them. They questioned if this person was being honest. But in time, learned to give back the love and tenderness that was freely given. Well done.
A concrete poem is the kind of poem that I would have a hard time doing. Not only do you have to write the poem but that poem must be shaped into a picture as well. It is talent and a gift to do this. The words flowed smoothly as I read them from the beginning to the end and also created a design and shape from these words. Well done
All of us at one time or another have done what this poem talks about. In the beginning the person thinks about what the future holds, what they wll do and where they will go. Then they look back at where they had come from, everything, the good and the bad. Then again looking forward with hope of where they migjht go in life or who they will become, finding the things they desire. Finally realizing and learning from the past and living today for a better tomorrow.
I see a person who sits as the sunlight slowly fades looking at the pain in their heart and life. A hurt is there and they are searching to find a way to ease the pain and burden they feel. They turn to God and somehow he is able to heal that wound. Answering their prayer giving them peace and comfort to live once more. Well done
The song you wrote talks of two lovers and the time that they spend together in the moonlight. As I have never written a song so it may be hard for me to judge what would be good. But I enjoy country music and the words you have written paint a picture of the two lovers and the joy that being together brings them. If the song was set to music I think that it could touch someones heart. Well donemike ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Abuse can destroy a person's life. What you have written is so true for so many. It changes how they look at others. They guard their heart and build a wall around them for protection from the hurt and pain. It is hard to let others past that wall and open your heart to feel again because of the fear that it could happen again. My prayers are with you.
As I read your story about your cat, Princess, You painted a picture of the love and joy that she gives to you and your boyfriend. She has become a part of your family, like a child that you see growing before you. From the time as a kitten to where she is today. She means just as much to you as if she was your child. You showed that in your writing. She is family.
The idea of starting the story out with a woman who is not happy with the hotel she is staying at. Then puting a twist into it by her being the one doing the things that the police were investagating there. It was very interesting, I did not see it until near the end of the story. I enjoyed it.
The Story line opened with the words: I have a crush on you. This helped to pull me in, to want to read more about what was happening. In your writing you brought to life Jill, what she was thinking and why. I could feel her becoming anxious for answers, her desire building and her imagination taking over. The story line flowed smoothly. Good ending.
mike
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