I really liked this story. It was a different twist on the classic, cheating boyfriend. You made the reader look at it from both sides, the boyfriend and the girlfriend. Even though the characters were not in a relationship with each other, you showed both perspectives well. Good Job.
I am not usually a big fan of haikus. Usually something feels unfinished about them to me, but I really liked these, I could picture the swaying, calming feeling. Good Job.
A most thought provoking entry. It brings to mind the confusion we all feel on where to go in our lives and that we are all truly headed towards the same goal. Good Job.
This is a really sweet poem and brings back memories of new love. It was nicely written simple but you got your message across very well. I loved the description, feel and flow. Good Job.
I think you've got a very good start to a truly interesting story. You have set things up nicely so far and have left yourself plenty of room for growth in the story. Good Job.
This was a wonderful story. This is something that happens often, people are all to quick to turn a blind eye to the things they know are true. It is so easy to make excuses as to why we do nothing, when there was so much we could do. If this is a true story I am very sorry. No one should have to die in such a way, it is almost like a robbery of a life that could have probably been so much. Good Job.
I really like the overall feel of the story. I think it could be greatly improved if more description was added. Description of the characters-what they look like, what they are wearing. More in-depth description of the relationship between the characters. But the outcome was very thought provoking, a nice twist, that makes you realize that inside you are more like those you hate than you realize. Good Job.
Overall a really well-written piece. A different type of story, which is great. The world needs more free thinkers. This could grow into an excellent story. Good Job.
Wow! This was an excellent piece of work. It was written with an excellent twist at the end that was unexpected. I have had loses in my own life and would love to have them back, but it does make you wonder if you could know everything about that person would you want them back. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this story and was very impressed by the intellegently story. I loved it. Good Job!
I really liked this piece. I know exactly what you were trying to convey, it is so funny how much friendships can change over the years. I have several friends from different times in my life growing up that I thought that I would never grow apart from, but alas I did. I often thind back on those sunny afternoons you described and wonder what happened. This was written very well and honestly. Good Job!
This was really good and how right you are that no matter how hard we fight our lives must one day end. You did a great job of making your point in an intellegent but not too dark way. Good Job!
I really like the piece, the description of the pain is something most could relate to. I would recommend writing it in a more traditional poetry format, other that one big paragraph. It would make the piece flow better, and make it easier on the reader. Great Piece.
This is a very interesting piece, your imagery was spectacular. I would recommend breaking the work into smaller paragraph so that the reader may follow the story easily. There were a few typographical errors, but who doesn't make those. Overall it was very good.
Love lost can there be anything worse, but sometimes it really does work out for the best. I really like the simple form, it is well written. Good Luck.
I have recently joined the sight and would love to have my work reviewed. It has been so long since I have written anything that anyone else would actually read, that I need all the help I can get. I think this is a wonderful group idea. After being laid off recently, I decided that now was the time to actually pursue something that I have always loved. I began a novel about 2 months ago, it is still in the very early phase, but I will polish it a bit more and post some of it soon. I do have a few short stories posted and would love to hear what you think.
Thanks
A very interesting piece, it gives you a look at the world from a very dark perspective. I find this piece very believeable, because I myself have saw things that were not truly there on late nights, when sleep is desperately needed. You really made me feel as though I were walking this street seeing all the strange things that lurk in the night. Great job.
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