\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/mindyh79
Review Requests: OFF
1 Public Reviews Given
2 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of Shannon's Gift  Open in new Window.
Review by Mindyh79 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This was very well written! As a reader, I could actually feel the emotion. I don't want to nitpick, but there are a couple of things that would make this perfect overall.

I know daddy - Capitalize Daddy since used as a name

him since he didnt seem to be a danger - apostrophe in didn't

Leaving the doll she had worked so hard to benefit a complete stranger - add "for" after hard makes it easier to follow

Shannon say it - change say to saw

a rather remarkable little girl, make a rather remarkable gesture - change make to made

I thought this was a wonderful story, hope you find this review helpful.
1 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/mindyh79