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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/miradesh
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12 Public Reviews Given
15 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by Heresh Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
It was so moving. I think I'm going to remember this story for the rest of my life. I want to thank you for writing it down.
2
2
Review of First Kiss  Open in new Window.
Review by Heresh Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
This sonnet portrays what a person would imagine their first kiss would affect them, not just emotionally but also physically. You use wonderful descriptions. I love how you say "A hazy, crazy, crisp kaleidoscope ensnares your soul". Ensnares is such a magnificent word to use as it shows that you can't escape even at your very core.

In other words, it's very good.
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3
Review by Heresh Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (1.5)
Constructive criticism can help any writer to improve, therefore it is only fair to give some. This story appears to have excellent potential and could be quite interesting however, it lacks correct spellings and an element to draw the reader in and make them want to read more. My advice would be to add something to the piece that will amuse, intrigue or frighten the reader which could lead to them wanting to read on. You've made a good start though, keep it up!
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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/miradesh