Vivian, after receiving your email I came back and re-rated the poem as a 4.5. The only thing I could say about improvement would be the rhythm in this poem feels even throughout, then every now and then there's a line that doesn't fit the rhythm (the last lines of each stanza feel like they take longer to read than the others, which slows me down a bit as I read). But the language and imagery in this poem are great. Thank you for encouraging me to come back and discuss where there is room for improvement--this helps me to be a better reviewer and make more accurate decisions (rather than spur-of-the-moment decisions).
Good thoughts here. My initial advice would be to review the poem for errors. Was "brown" in the third line capitalized on purpose? And "too" in the fourteenth line should be "to." Just need to correct some little things like that. :) I really appreciate the fact that you didn't try to stick to rhyming--I feel like that locks a lot of people in from being as creative as they can be. Good job!
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