This was a nice short story. I would love to have been able to see and feel the storm. They are my favorite. I do think you could add more descriptions in the first two or three paragraphs to really pull your reader into the story. Descriptions of things like clouds and lightening are brought out of a story even more when the reader can picture the colors you see when telling it. Like stating that the white fluffy clouds floated into view like clusters of cotton balls pushed by a gentle wind, the sky turning from clear ocean blue to steely depressing gray. It brings emotion and senses into view. Also smells, help to paint your picture. Hope this helps you with your visions to bring your readers closer to what you see and feel. Thank you for sharing your work.
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/morthva
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 4:27am on Nov 13, 2024 via server WEBX1.