Hello seaghartey
I happened upon your essay while browsing the site, looking for items to read. I'm not entirely sure how I landed here, but I'm really glad I did.
My Thoughts:
I wish I had a friend like Roland when I was young, someone who could talk me off the ledge. More realistically, someone to give me permission to allow my own light to shine brightly. I'm one of those people who thinks social media is ruining the self-esteem of our young girls and women--well, women of all ages. Half the time, the images are photo-shopped, but good luck getting anyone to admit that. This can leave women and girls comparing themselves to something that doesn't even exist. For those who have rock-solid self-esteem, and never compare themselves to anyone, I commend them. For the rest of us, raised up in a society that throws unrealistic beauty standards in our faces at every turn, it can be challenging to deprogram ourselves from that.
My Favorite Part:
So slowly I began to express certain opinions I had about myself that I was too ashamed to tell anyone for fear of being deemed as "preoccupied with her looks".
My gosh, this resonates with my own story. It's not that I didn't believe I was pretty. because I was. The issue was in claiming to be pretty or behaving in a way that led people to consider me "conceited," so I kept my head down. It's crazy how things like that can do a real number on us.
My Suggestions:
Your writing is wonderful, articulate, and your message was clear. I have no suggestions for improvement, but I did find one little typo in the first sentence of the fifth paragraph:
"... I thougt were prettier go"
On a more personal note, I'm not young anymore, and this subject (beauty) is a sore one for me. I regret not letting my light shine as brightly as I could. I regret spending so much time trying not to make others feel insecure around me, so much so that I never really allowed myself live up to my fullest potential. I wasn't "me," if that makes sense. It takes a lot of energy to dim your own light for others. I had none left for me.
While this is not exactly the same issue you're writing about, it's similar in that society (and even our peers sometimes) can make it hard for us to just be our true authentic selves -- and really love what we see. We're bombarded with beauty standards that are not our own. I say...why not throw all that out the window? At the end of the day, YOU are your biggest commitment, so it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. Just love yourself and deeply as possible, and do it as often as possible. No regrets.
Best wishes!
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