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287 Public Reviews Given
522 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
Review of THE SKETCH ARTIST  Open in new Window.
Review by Mari ~ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)

Dear POETDONTKNOWIT Author Icon,


This is Mari and this is the third review for the package you won in the Simply Positive Auction. Your awardicon will arrive shortly. Thank you for participating.

Here are my initial thoughts about your poem "The Sketch Artist." I chuckled to be honest. I'm not sure that's the reaction you were going for...*Smile*

I think it is a very imaginative poem.

Suggestions:
It's always easier to notice flaws in someone else's work. Since joining WDC I have learned that I had been over punctuating too. In this piece I think you should reevaluate your punctuation.


Thank you for sharing your poetry with us.



Mari

Please remember anything contained in this review is intended to be constructive. These are my opinions, take what you will and leave the rest.
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2
Review of THE WEDDING RINGS  Open in new Window.
Review by Mari ~ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)


Dear POETDONTKNOWIT Author Icon,


My name is Mari and you won the package I donated to the simply positive auction. Three poetry reviews, a signature and a MB. Thank you for participating.

Here are my initial thoughts about your poem "The Wedding Rings". I love when I hear about true love. It's beautiful to my ears when someone is still excited about the person they're married to for so long. Congratulations!

Most enjoyed:

Where there is a ring on my finger,
Now I feel it's come full circle
The feeling shall forever linger


Suggestions:
Then fate through threw us back together



Thank you for sharing your poetry with us.

Please stop by for your signature from:
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Mari

Please remember anything contained in this review is intended to be constructive. These are my opinions, take what you will and leave the rest.
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3
Review of On the Waterfront  Open in new Window.
Review by Mari ~ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello again eliot,

I like the way you have presented this poem. "On the Waterfront" is visually appealing. I also like the aesthetics of having the first word in each of your statements being italicized.

I don't believe all poetry requires punctuation, but in this case, I think a period at the end of each statement would add value.

As with any review these are my opinions.

Thank you for an enjoyable morning reading through your port. Please stop by to choose your signature. Your MB will be on it's way.
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#1418332 by Not Available.


Mari
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Review of Hitchhiker  Open in new Window.
Review by Mari ~ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Eliot,

Sorry it took so long to get started on the package you won in Gemini's Hot Summer Auction. I have been under the weather.

I read your poem "The hitchhiker". I guess I really never had considered hitchhiking in this way before. Interesting.

One thing I would say about this piece is it seems like a very long sentence. Punctuation isn't my strong point but I think perhaps a couple periods would serve this poem well.

Thank you, I enjoyed the read.

Mari
5
5
Review of Picture Poem  Open in new Window.
Review by Mari ~ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Dear Reyna,

It is really tough to find just one favorite stanza. I think you put words in a wonderfully poetic piece together well. I like the way you have begun your poem.

Swirl inky color and pearly thoughts
onto starchy fiber with a writing staff,
blend with the tones of the soul
before splashing toward a masterpiece.

I found no technical errors.

Welcome to WDC! Write On!

Mari
6
6
Review by Mari ~ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Dear Audra,

Hello my dear friend I have finally read through your story. I surely hope teenagers don't go through anything this traumatic. This story caused anxiety for me as I read your characters thoughts!

Toward the end of this story, you have misspelled masquerading. I found no other errors.

You write very well, thank you.

Mari
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7
Review of Deja Vu  Open in new Window.
Review by Mari ~ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Dear Resasi,

A very interesting poem.

Mari
8
8
Review of THE GIFT OF LIFE  Open in new Window.
Review by Mari ~ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Good Morning Julie,

The unfortunate imagery presented in your piece entitled "The Gift of Life" is so clear and sad.

This ought to be presented and used as a campaign. Have you considered submitting this to your local organ donor drive?

There is nothing to correct or change.

Mari
9
9
Review of Final Vows  Open in new Window.
Review by Mari ~ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Fyndorian,

I liked this okay but found it on the unusual side. It does in fact seem to be surrender, but I find it...well, I'm not sure....

I had a couple questions/statements I guess, regarding this poem. First, I'd like to know if there was a reason for your decision about capitalization?

for me to become i ...What does this mean?

Thank you for being here on WDC you are an absolute asset.

Have a great day!

Mari
10
10
Review of Lost Within  Open in new Window.
Review by Mari ~ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
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#1404398 by Not Available.


Dear Fyndorian,


My name is Mari and you won the package I donated. Three poetry reviews and a MB. Thank you for participating, this is my third and final review. As I am thrilled with your work, I'd like to offer you the decision to receive an Awardicon or MB.

Here are my initial thoughts about your poem "Lost Within". I enjoyed your poem. You have interesting way of expressing yourself. I quite enjoyed reading and reviewing your work.

Most enjoyed:

The North Star has been obscured
By the fog, heavy and thick,
Oozing across the valley of my mind.

Suggestions:

In the line pasted below, mismapped is actually not a word; unmapped is.
Can it penetrate
the miasma of mismapped thoughts.

As I believe in "Poetic License", it doesn't affect the scoring of this piece.


Thank you for bidding on and winning my package. It has been a pleasure sharing your poetry.


Mari

Please remember anything contained in this review is intended to be constructive. These are my opinions, take what you will and leave the rest.
11
11
Review of Storm Language  Open in new Window.
Review by Mari ~ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
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#1404398 by Not Available.


Dear,


My name is Mari and you won the package I donated. Three poetry reviews and a MB. This is review two. Thank you for participating.

Here are my initial thoughts about your poem "Storm Language"

I have absolutely no idea what a bloated fish belly moon is, please elucidate for me.

Your imagery is wonderful Fyn. I could feel this storm and the staccato beating.

Most enjoyed:

For a period
icy drops fall-
run on sentences as the wind
pages through the maple.
Hailing invectives
a staccato beating.


Suggestions: I don't have any particular suggestions.



Thank you for sharing your poetry, I enjoyed the read. You have a great imagination.



Mari

Please remember anything contained in this review is intended to be constructive. These are my opinions, take what you will and leave the rest.
12
12
Review of The WDC Review  Open in new Window.
Review by Mari ~ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
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#1404398 by Not Available.


Dear fyndorian,


My name is Mari and you won the package I donated. Three poetry reviews and a MB. Thank you for participating.

Here are my initial thoughts about your poem "The WDC Review"

Most enjoyed: All of it! All five stars of it!
My outer self is too busy typing a review-
praises fall from brick red skies,
and I lie
on razor edged grasses
watching my monitor grow dark,
trapping me
within.
In the ensueing darkness
five new stars glow on the horizon.


Suggestions: How could I possibly have any suggestions for improvement! You can't improve "Perfect"...

Well, I guess I did find one typo...ensuing is the correct spelling. Still rates a five in my book!




Thank you for sharing your poetry with us. I have read this piece several times because it tickled my funny bone.

I can't wait to get to the next review, hope it doesn't suck me and and leave me seeing stars.



Mari

Please remember anything contained in this review is intended to be constructive. These are my opinions, take what you will and leave the rest.
13
13
Review of The Unrescue  Open in new Window.
Review by Mari ~ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Lissa,

I just read your story for Ariana's contest. I think it is marvelous. I have a problem with it though. There isn't enough. I want to read more of this story. HAHA!

You have a great story started and I think it has wonderful possibilities!!

Seriously, please write more.

Welcome to WDC!

Mari

Feel free to stop by my contest...
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Review by Mari ~ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Cordelia,

This is marvelous!

I am not a dark poet but I think you have worked magic with your words. You have presented wonderful imagery. Awful, but done very well.

I found no technical errors.

Thank you for stopping by to ask my opinion.

Mari

15
15
Review by Mari ~ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
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#1424791 by Not Available.


Dearthe-they.blogspot.com Author Icon,


My name is Mari and I am one of several judges for this contest.

Here are my initial thoughts about your poem "1000 Feet Up, 1000 Feet Down"

Most enjoyed:Her face, barely visible in the dark of the cabin, once beautiful now wrinkled with time stares at me with a formality: a smile.


Suggestions:I am not sure where there is reference to angels in this piece. I certainly enjoyed the read.



Thank you for sharing your poetry with us.



Mari

Good Luck in the contest.

Please remember anything contained in this review is intended to be constructive. These are my opinions, take what you will and leave the rest.
16
16
Review of The Offender  Open in new Window.
Review by Mari ~ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
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#1424791 by Not Available.


Dear imadreamweaver Author Icon,


My name is Mari and I am one of several judges for this contest.

Here are my initial thoughts about your poem "The Offender" This contest is for writings about angels and I don't see reference to angels in this poem. That said, I really enjoyed this poem. It was easy to visualize the torment the subject of this poem went through.

Most enjoyed:

Taking great pleasure at their own narration
feeling themselves in complete domination
using sweet words of manipulation,
My inner strength was their miscalculation!

I especially liked the successful ending.

Suggestions:

Remove one space between the second and third stanza.



Thank you for sharing your poetry with us.



Mari

Good Luck in the contest.

Please remember anything contained in this review is intended to be constructive. These are my opinions, take what you will and leave the rest.
17
17
Review by Mari ~ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
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#1424791 by Not Available.


Dear warriormom,


My name is Mari and I am one of several judges for this contest.

Here are my initial thoughts about your poem "This Father's Day". You touched my heart with your tribute to this father.

Most enjoyed:I most enjoyed the love and honor for this man by his family.

Suggestions:I haven't any suggestions. This is a lovely piece.



Thank you for sharing your poetry with us.



Mari

Good Luck in the contest.

Please remember anything contained in this review is intended to be constructive. These are my opinions, take what you will and leave the rest.
18
18
Review by Mari ~ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
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#1424791 by Not Available.


Dear lidi Author Icon,


My name is Mari and I am one of several judges for this contest.

Here are my initial thoughts about your poem "Through An Angels Eyes". I liked the imagery you present of the beauty of God through the angels eyes.


Most enjoyed:

I see majestic beauty all around,
his grand design leaves one astound.

I liked this line because of the poetic license you chose to employ.


Suggestions:

and the colors of heaven are vibrantly sheer. ,
*Cut* ,

Thank you for sharing your poetry with us.



Mari

Good Luck in the contest.

Please remember anything contained in this review is intended to be constructive. These are my opinions, take what you will and leave the rest.
19
19
Review by Mari ~ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Dear L.D,

I am ever grateful for your review. By your doing a review of my story "A Night to Remember" you filled me with the joy of knowledge by sharing yours.

In my response to your review I asked you to explain your critique in more depth. People had told me many of the same things about my writing in general. I had tried to illicit more precise explanations; until this review, I didn't get thorough answers.

After I responded to your review I clicked your link, "Expanded Power Revision Checklist".

The information you impart in this article is direct and easy to understand. Your examples are very instrumental to understanding.

Thank you for compiling all this valuable information. I personally find it exciting to finally have answers to my questions.

I have added this lesson to my billboard for easy personal reference.

Again, I thank you.

Sincerely,
Mari

20
20
Review by Mari ~ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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Hi Richy,

I really enjoyed your lyrics,"Pink Lips And Hair So Black! I think that is a very unusual title for anything. Funny!

~*~ ~*~
Grammar: I found no grammatical errors.

~*~ ~*~
Most Liked:Did you feel the passion?
Did you feel the warmth, the joy and trust?
Or was your love a fashion,
Another trend you've based on lust?


Personal Thoughts: The entire poem is good. I would love to hear the melody that goes with it. I do think of song lyrics as poems set to music.


Write On!
Thank you,
Mari

*Heart*

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21
21
Review of One Last Drive  Open in new Window.
Review by Mari ~ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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Hi Kiya,

I really enjoyed your poem,"One Last Drive"!

~*~ ~*~
Grammar: I found no grammatical errors

~*~ ~*~
Most Liked: Tales of ghosts and houses all haunted
Did not care, he could not be daunted

She left with a huff and waited outside
Endless minutes tick by and hours collide

~*~ ~*~
Personal Thoughts: I thought this was very well done. I was immediately drawn in...good hook in your fist two lines. I personally found it both tragic and comical.

Write On!
Thank you for a most pleasurable read.
Mari

*Heart*

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22
22
Review by Mari ~ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
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Hi Kiya,

I really enjoyed your poem,"The Unknown Soldier"!

~*~ ~*~
Grammar: I found no grammatical errors. (of course)

~*~ ~*~
Most Liked:Father, dear father my gun makes me weary
It's too heavy a burden, why must I carry?

But then, a man walks up to me one day,
Says, 'Son, I'm going to make you famous today.'
I answer not, for I know not what to say.
'An Unknown Soldier you are and that's how it will stay.'

~*~ ~*~

Personal Thoughts: You always write so beautifully. This poem touched my heart reminding me of the soldiers sacrifice for the freedom of his/her countrymen. Thank you for touching on a subject that should be remembered no matter the person's country of origin; someone has fought for the things we have today and so easily take for granted.

Write On!
Mari

*Heart*

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23
23
Review of Of WDC and Drama  Open in new Window.
Review by Mari ~ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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Hi Kiya,

I read your poem,"Of WDC and Drama"! I guess I have seen and felt some of the drama you speak of in your poetic plea for people to remember why they joined.

~*~ ~*~
Most Liked:I like how you incorporated some of the different genre's offered on the site.

~*~ ~*~
Suggestions: I found no corrections necessary.
~*~ ~*~
Personal Thoughts: You should write an article regarding the same subject.


Write On!
Thank you,
Mari

*Heart*

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24
Review of Letter From Somme  Open in new Window.
Review by Mari ~ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
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Hi,

I am really impressed with your letter,"Letter From Somme"!It sounds like an actual letter from a soldier.

I could well imagine being in the battlefield seeing the sights he witnessed. I could almost smell the gunpowder. I would have hated to have gotten that letter from the view of knowing the horror my sweetheart was enduring. On the other hand the flowery parts referring to his love repeatedly would have made me feel unequivocally loved, even if he hadn't returned home.

Thank you for a wonderful read.

Maybe it's just my perception but it seems like there are a lot of commas. (I tend to overdo the comma's)


Write On!
Thank you,
Mari

*Heart*

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25
25
Review by Mari ~ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Good Morning, Taya,

This is a wonderful contest Tay. Among the sea of activities and contests, this contest to demonstrate love and appreciation of our pets is welcome. I will happily make a donation toward it.

If you need help judging, I would be delighted.

Warm regards,
Mari
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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/mrs.camelot