I'm reviewing your short story titled, "Right Thirst" for the Daily Review. Let's move on with it...
Impression: This is the story of a young deer that learns to act on his desire, face the threat of death but succeed with his life, and courage intact. This deer truly quenched his thirst today. Through this success he can go forward bravely many more times into the crocodile's realm.
What I loved: I loved the imagery of the deer stepping into crocodile terrain to drink a few gulps of water and rejoicing at the end with its reward. Felt real nice to see the deer win so soundly at the end.
What needs work: Nothing needs rework.
Final thoughts: This was a feel good story of quenching not just a physical thirst but motivationally, it encourages others to step out and face life's challenges and win.
When you stay thirsty, you always seek to quench life's thirst.
Very nice job today! I enjoyed reading your work and hope you enjoy the celebration this week!
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Impression: You said a whole lot in a few words and that is a difficult thing to achieve. Most people run from death but this character we see here has had many interactions and is not afraid and it would seem, they are "friends", though who is a friend of Death?
What I loved: I really enjoyed the quirky mood of this story. Death lets your protagonist down, many times but she still waits for him to visit her. Very interesting look at Death from this perspective. The cat, Pete, was also an intriguing addition.
What needs work: I didn't see anything that needed work.
Final thoughts: I thought this was an imaginative use of the prompt and really integrated into the theme of this story. I definitely see the idea from the prompt in this story that the truth is really not desired here. Great story!
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Impression: This is a honest reflection into a world mental enlightenment and a grappling with normal life fallacies.
What I loved: The honesty behind your work. You really want your readers to understand you.
What needs work: I found nothing that needed rework.
Final thoughts: Your story beautifully captures the raw emotions, triumphs, and setbacks experienced by the protagonist, leaving your readers with a profound understanding of the complexities surrounding mental health. You and Van Gogh are distant cousins, bound together in the spirit world.
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Impression: An intriguing view into a life that was transformed by overhearing one thing that set off this main character into a life full of living, adventure and wealth. To go from a life lived through fictional characters to you living the life others only heard of.
What I loved: Her transformation from a perceived matron into a desirable woman draping the arms of wealthy men. That works for me!
What needs work: There is nothing from this story that needs rework.
Final thoughts: This is a really surprising foray into a new world full of new possibilities. It took me by surprise but that is what I get for having a standard expectation of a really good character.
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Impression: This story is a great story of a person who has a gift for massage but deeper than that, for understanding the complex needs of a female from all of the years he'd been raised with his three sisters.
What I loved: This character never focused his activities on himself but on the needs of the people whose life he touched.
What needs work: There is nothing that needs rework in this entry.
Final thoughts: This introspective narrative, authored by a sensitive and insightful writer, beautifully captures the far-reaching impact of human connection and compassion. Your story really caught me with its wonderfully charming message and I just fell for it.
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Impression: This story of two young filly horses called Morgan were of a horse that allowed their master to care for them and the other, got less good treatment due to its resistance to letting anyone care for them. It was a useful to include these for illustration.
What I loved: I liked this one as much as I had to devour it swiftly for its length.
What needs work: There is nothing from this story that needs rework.
Final thoughts: You beautifully weave together the contrasting journeys of two captivating protagonists. This meticulously crafted tale takes readers on an emotional rollercoaster, delving deep into the complexities of horse nature and the choices we make.
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Impression: A story of a space being named Hancron who is enjoying his life, and the other DeathBringers want both him and the other DeathBringers estinguished. A sci fi journey into mayhem and death.
What I loved: The horror and intensity of the DeathBringer who brought death to many victims.
What needs work: The story does not need any rework.
Final thoughts: This spine-chilling narrative takes readers on a heart-pounding rollercoaster ride through a universe plagued by an unimaginable entity, the DeathBringer, whose sole purpose is to inflict death upon its helpless victims.
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Impression: Strayed from Normalcy, never coming back story is a captivating and thought-provoking journey that takes readers on a rollercoaster ride of emotions. The author masterfully weaves a narrative filled with unexpected twists and turns, pushing the boundaries of what it means to lead a conventional life.
What I loved: The emotions that are showed in this story really explain determination and insistence on never returning to a normal life.
What needs work: Nothing in this story needs rework.
Final thoughts: The moral of this story: You can believe in something small, and turn it into something big, quote from the author. This spellbinding narrative takes readers on a journey they never anticipated, venturing far from the realm of normalcy and thoroughly exploring the consequences of such a decision.
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Impression: The protagonist, a skilled and determined female operative codenamed Green Dragon, personifies strength and resilience. Her character development throughout the story is truly commendable, as we witness her growth and unyielding determination to complete her mission successfully. It is a solid story and really kept me interested till the last word.
What I loved: I really enjoyed the movement of this story. It was crisp, it was intriguing and I stayed involved.
What needs work: There is nothing from this story that needs rework.
Final thoughts: This story presents an enthralling tale of espionage, centered around a female operative on a high-stakes mission for the esteemed Agency. This riveting narrative combines action, suspense, and a sprinkle of mystery to deliver a captivating read.
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Impression: This story is an interesting take on the quotation prompt as I am searching for the area where this meshes with prompt. I will say that it is a beautiful writing on the month of November, which I happen to love as a month. it is a special month that usually ushers in the snow and frost and snowmen. It is a great month and would be amazing to spend in Norway, as you discuss, in November.
What I loved: I loved thinking about the mountains of snow to see in a country like Norway. It's magical, it's cold and fluffy snow is everywhere. This story really brought this out for me.
What needs work: There is nothing from this writing for rework.
Final thoughts: November, one of my fave month's of the year, is a special place to be in the country of Norway. The very cold nights, the glasses of vodka to stay warm and the beautiful countryside all around.
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Impression: For your Dear Me entry, you took a very clever outlook at this letter by playing around with the title and working into the letter, rather cleverly. I enjoyed how your outlook for goal setting was with identifying which goals to initiate, to propagate, in this upcoming year. I also enjoyed the words you made out of the contest title and how much it worked within the framework of this letter for goal setting.
What I loved: I loved DARE ME, E-DREAM and RE-MADE...how fun this was to enjoy a clever mind at work.
What needs work: Nothing needs rework in this entry.
Final thoughts: I have watched your writing through the years and really was blown away by this whimsical entry. How fantastic that you chose to enjoy your entry and submit what you found interesting in this contest. Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.
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Impression: I thought your entry was youthful and full of content that was full of intent and action! I considered your insertion of the acronyms SFW (macrophilian) and (growth)RP without a side appendix of the explanation of unfamiliar interests that require a bit of dissection if used in your contest entry. I stumbled a bit but all in all, I understood that you are forging through to reattach yourself to fans (and gain "new" fans) as your content grows in 2023.
What I loved: I loved your energy. You wrote through these changes, you entered your Dear Me entry and you "Dared to the challenge" and this is part of the hallmarks to success.
What needs work: Sorry but I think I stated that your content might need to offer an appendix or just simply state what the acronym means for the others.
Final thoughts: Again, I love your enthusiasm, your energy and your face to the wind as you "grow" again and you set a date of intention for this plan. This is a very good outline and I do wish you the best!
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Impression: What a fun inspiring letter to oneself to goal setting for 2023. Your willingness to lay bare the story count over the years the years is encouraging to the readers of your honest letter and myself. Your goal count is rigorous but this is just my small minded opinion of actual story writing. These are achievable numbers from my unlearned count.
What I loved: I loved your humility in full disclosure on some areas where you wanted to see improvement and you did not shy away to save face. Your bravery will not go unrewarded.
What needs work: There was nothing in your entry that I thought needed rework.
Final thoughts: The final goals you decided on showed a management style that is flexible and adaptable where necessary. It was a most beautiful part of the Dear Me letter to yourself and I really enjoyed reading it.
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Impression: Your entry for the Dear Me contest attempted to outline a plan for 2023. It embodied a whole lot of emotional states though you summarized it in one line: work on addressing your trauma. That is an interesting goal, along with your new city advisory committee positions and work in the city of Minneapolis to help beautify the community. I thought your outline was a grand endeavor but one that I think you will achieve in 2023.
What I loved: I loved your energy. I think that in modifying your commitments and ensuring you are involving self care in the various forms it unfolds, you are actively seeking to achieve your goals. Goal completion is a thing that requires energy and commitment and I think you have this.
What needs work: There is nothing in your Dear Me entry that needs rework.
Final thoughts: I think with this strength of heart and mind, and an intent for goal completion, you will finish more than not in 2023. This is looking to be your year.
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Impression: In your Dear Me entry for this year, I can say that those dust bunnies are far far away from settling on this adventuresome letter full of directed goal setting. I think your disclosure in the not so positive areas shows your agreeability and likability. What wonderful writing endeavors you secured and the future holds much possibility.
What I loved: I loved the honesty and directed outline in your letter. The goals are factual and directed. The writing focus really helps to work as a compass for the journey ahead.
What needs work: Nothing in this writing needs rework.
Final thoughts: What a positive and delightful letter to spur you forward, to remind you to beware of the dust bunnies that want to cloud your life, complicate it and you are moving in a active direction. Best wishes in your pursuits for 2023.
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Impression: For your Dear Me entry, you celebrate the fact that you are not aspiring achieve any new life pursuits or goals. You are simply looking forward to enjoying the time you have, the location you are settled in and the surrounding area. This is a fantastic goal that many never get to enjoy as they are busy working or "living" but never smell any good parts of life prior to dying.
What I loved: I love the freedom with which you submitted your entry knowing that you are not concerned about goal setting at all. You are interested in life enhancement, in whichever manner, it presents itself to you.
What needs work: Your Dear Me entry does not need rework.
Final thoughts: I always look for a surprise entry and this one surprised me with its openness and agreeableness. 2023 will be an interesting year for you, I think. Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.
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Impression: For your Dear Me entry for this month, what is awesome is how you lay out eight or nine different activities, blogs and ports that you use to help you achieve your goals for 2023. You also lay out the issue of your health and this is not a matter than defies being ignored. You must take care of yourself, proactively, or the rest will fall to the wayside. It is good that you recognize this fact and endeavor to keep this in check so the rest can come together.
What I loved: I loved how succinctly you laid out the links to the various items that are used in goal actualization and these goals have dates for achievement. Your knowledge that faith is a major part of achieving these goals is also a positivity.
What needs work: Nothing in your entry needs rework.
Final thoughts: With future outlook so close on the horizon, how fortuitous that many of these ideas are falling together. I do wish you the best in this contest.
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Impression: Your Dear Me entry is a fantastic foray into the goal reflection of a previous year (2022) and the hopes of the following year (2023). I thought your outlines were clear and easy to follow and I loved your Character link and definitely have to read more of your writing.
What I loved: I loved your willingness to self disclose and share this journey in full display is beautiful thing. It is a rare quality I've seen from successful writers.
What needs work: Your Dear Me entry does not need any rework.
Final thoughts: I very much enjoyed your Dear Me letter and know that this was one of the better entries from this month. You have a great heart for things and I think you will achieve the goals you outlined for the upcoming year.
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Impression: Wow! You have had alot on your table, you've seen some much change and yet, you are still moving and evolving. Your itemization of your writing goals vs your non writing goals is impressive. I love how you set as an intention to write in NaNo this year. That is a huge goal but I think you will do it. Why? As you said, you got this!
What I loved: I enjoyed your self exposure of illness, the steps to recovery, how you kept in step with this huge promotion which allows you to work from home. What an amazing time you've had and now, there is 2023 set before you.
What needs work: I did not see any par that needed rework.
Final thoughts: With your writing and non writing goals so clearly defined, it will be a literal slam dunk to hit these goals this year. I totally love your writing style and wish you so much more in this new year of 2023.
This review is for your clever Crossword puzzle titled, "Christmas Cheer", a word search puzzle you created for use here on Writing.com. I really like the avatar chosen with a few ornaments from a Christmas tree to adorn your item in your portfolio.
Impression: I loved the flow and movement of this word search. I felt that you took a few minutes to choose the words carefully before fitting them inside of the word search chart.
What I loved: I love Christmas, first of all, and a word search to allow me to bask in all the wonders of Christmas without using too much of the time that's allotted, was an enjoyment that you shared with not only me, but so many others.
What needs work: I didn't see any part of this word search that needed rework.
Final thoughts: What a fantastic Christmas word search to share and post here on Writing.com! I am so glad that you both posted this word search puzzle, but you took out a few minutes to visit my port and rate my word search too! Thank you so very much dear and I hope to read and review more work from you going forward.
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Impression: In this story of a man and his sister who are advanced in age and they are experiencing time in the future, the main protagonist, Brai, a man of seventy-two years is watching his time and his form advance in an unsettling way. His sister, Taen, too, was aging and she takes him on a journey back through time. This journey was they traveled also took them back through the years and they relived their years in backwards manner. This was a trippy journey that while they experienced age reduction, they still were suffering from advanced age.
What I loved: This was a mind tampering kind of story where you weren't sure what time you were in or what was the age of the characters. It was quite the trip!
What needs work: I did not see anything that needed revision or rework in this story.
Final thoughts: What a fantastic voyage on the spacecraft traveling through trippy time and if you could reverse time, even temporarily, then you have to go for it.
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Impression: This is the story of a family moving far away, taking their young child on a journey to a strange place to change their lives, their child's future...her friend Meera leaving to go to a new place. This change- hurt...the friendship would have a strain due to distance. It's so strange that it would seem that a friendship could stand distance and yet, so much changes and sometimes, the journey wrecks more than time.
What I loved: I think that sometimes we have to discover how the journey changes more than just place...it changes the person and this story really expresses this.
What needs work: There was nothing that I saw that needed revision or rework.
Final thoughts: Sometimes the journey is long and it is good if you can have a friend, or friends, or especially your family to help you along the way.
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Impression: This story of an ordinary man whose life changed when he was 61 years old to set off on a journey on a deathbed promise to his father to find his brother, Luke, who had been absent from the family when he just stopped going to school during his doctoral research. He wanted to see the world, and hadn't been seen since. This story depth and interesting twists really surprised and thrilled me as I read through this intriguing tale. You will be entertained thoroughly as this writer really knows how to spin a yarn!
What I loved: What I really enjoyed was how this man, now in his sixties, must fulfill this call to adventure of sorts, to locate information to satisfy a deathbed promise for father. He feels resentment at the seemingly careless manner in which his brother just abandoned the family for his Asian pursuits. The man finds out there is more to the story.
What needs work: Nothing in this story needs rework or revision.
Final thoughts: As I mentioned, this story surprised me in its depth of character development and backstory for this contest. I am so happy to have read as story of this caliber in the contest.
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Impression: In this story of a middle aged woman with a spider plant friend named Peter Parker and an overbearing mother who only served to nitpick her every flaw, we meet Shelly, who has finally gotten a break of sorts by winning a 2 day/3 night all expense paid trip to Lake Chipatla, Mexico where she hopes her life takes a turn for the better. The story moved expertly along as the main protagonist fumbles her way to her dream trip and things take a turn...I only hope for the better.
I thought the single overworked female template with the never satisfied mother felt realistic, and it only helped to add more flavor to a flavorful story.
What I loved: I sigh when I read about the overbearing mother because it is MORE true than not true. But this didn't feel forced nor overworked. It just was a legitimate piece in a story where you root for something, anything better to happen when it hasn't in the past.
What needs work: I did not see any part of this story which needed rework or revision.
Final thoughts: I really enjoyed this story. It was a refreshing take on the single woman with a "pet" house plant (that was a new one!) and we hope her life gets injected with burst of fresh air to change her world.
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Impression: In this story of an unknown speaker and his companion bear, Gladly Golightly, they travel along on an adventure in London with a stuffed bear who eats peanut butter from a jar, it felt like a lighthearted romp with two kids, or a teen and his bear one day. The story ventured over many territories, and followed ancient cemetaries, some historic and some patriotic but by the end, they rallied their trip back on a London double bus back home.
What I loved: I thought the addition of the bear with the huge figure was a nice touch but I felt that the lack of personalization of the speaker did not connect the bear to his companion as much. Buuut, the bear was great and very knowledgeable.
What needs work: There were a few punctuation issues, especially the use of the apostrophe mark instead of the quotation mark for the speech parts of the story. As you chose to do for this story, there was a lot of dialogue with this issue. I think that if you correct this, it will help the reader follow along better.
Final thoughts: I think the premise and the character of Gladly Golightly has a lot of promise but the story needs to be tightened up, and with the correction of some punctuation issues, your story of these two adventure seekers will be off to a great start.
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