This is a bit of a rambling story, but I like it. You describe a revenge killing spurred by hatred and grief. If only all detectives in the world could see and speak with the ghosts of murder victims. You have created a great premise in this piece of writing. I noticed a few things. You struggle with verb tenses. "When I saw that my husband is going to go to prison" should be was going to prison or when I see my husband is going to go to prison. "I didn't know who he is" should be who he was. I suggest rewording this as follows. Carl looks at the body and finds out my forefinger is not on the trigger. In the paragraph that begins "I told Carl everything" I suggest you edit and make the sentences shorter. Mind the periods. "A man who kept starring at me " should be staring at me. Again, the sentences should be shortened and not all lumped as a run on sentence in the paragraph beginning with "I ordered Carl to tell the police." "He shattered the window to sound like whoever murdered me has ran away" should be he shattered the window to seem like whoever had murdered me ran away. Happy account anniversary.
As I understand this poem you write of just sitting and cancelling distractive noises. You wish to be silent in the moment, free to just enjoy the sun and quiet. I noticed a few things. "Dazed, my feet is seen where the sunlight meets." Are you connecting this line with the next one that begins with shapes? If so, that period is unnecessary and the idea of the sunlight meeting shapes becomes clearer. Also, I believe it should be my feet were seen, or my feet were seen, or my feet are seen. "Crows go cruralling." I'm sorry, but what is cruralling ? "Containg constant"? Do you mean contains, or containing? "Where gravity last long." I believe that should be lasts long. I am sorry. I do not understand the "flying eyes" reference. I agree. Poetry is not always a given and it is not easy to write. Happy account anniversary.
I like what you have written here. You seem to have captured the thought processes of children. They like to sit sometimes and study their surroundings. They marvel at so many things. They rely upon all of their senses. I am intrigued by this repeated line " I died last winter." This raises suspense. This is the start of something... Happy account anniversary.
I like the concept of this poem. Yes, what if the walls of a building, a house could talk. Imagine what the structure has witnessed. I suppose there would be joy and sorrow, flip sides to life. You described dances, and Christmas celebrations, and delectable aromas, and the sounds like laughter and moaning that represent inhabitants. You utilized all of the senses, senses that would echo and linger in a home. The images you create of simply living in that manor are magical and evocative. The first two stanzas are beautiful, melancholic. Happy account anniversary.
This is poignant. Our children do grow up too quickly. One special moment is too soon eclipsed by another. I smiled at your money predicament and the all too real possibility of setting an expensive precedent. Your daughter pretended to be asleep, but later admitted this to you. The need to let you know you were not fooling her won out over letting you pretend to be the tooth fairy one last time. Happy account anniversary. I like the conversational style of your writing.
This is a lovely story. I like the gnomish world you have described and the characters are wonderful. You have quite the vivid imagination. The gnomes seem to be industrious and they waste no time seeking a solution to Dimune's loneliness. They create a beautiful haven for her and she literally glows with happiness. That poor girl has glimpsed magic and she has not forgotten. So much life pulses behind the scenes and within a tree. Happy account anniversary.
I like the quick pace and the rhymes of this poem. They mimic a child who cannot sit still. Children like this are fearless. They are not afraid to try whatever ideas pop into their heads. Why not wear what you want when you want. Why not hop around like a frog. Walking can sometimes be boring. Thanks for the smile and happy account anniversary.
Ah, if only inanimate objects could reason, feel and speak. It is fun to speculate what they are thinking and describe their reactions. I laughed as I read the conversation between a pumpkin and a jack-o-lantern. I like that the carved gourd is considered an old man and that he has wisdom to impart. I suppose the elaborate rituals of Halloween could be beyond comprehension to some. The ending is funny. The young pumpkin may be spared the fate of a scarred skin, but a future as a pie filling awaits. Happy account anniversary.
I do not claim to know anything about music other than what I like. I believe this poem needs to be set to music and shared. There are some street truths here. Who cannot relate to distrusting/disliking wealthy people? Are their agendas suspect? "Why do we pay to be alive?" That is a provocative question. "And your felt tip pen, only writes on what's paper thin." I like this image. Does this rich man know the meaning of integrity? Happy account anniversary.
This is a great family story to cherish and share. The manner of Roy's death is a shame, but he did leave a legacy of remembered laughter and that is invaluable. You have conveyed the humour and love with each word. The mixed-up suit fiasco and then Terry rifling through the suit pocket for his tithing money is hilarious. Thanks for the giggles. I noticed a few things. "It seemed to make to mix-up" should be it seemed to make the mix-up. I believe "receeded" is spelled receded. "And one day." does not need a period in that placement. "Undemonterative man" should b undemonstrative man. "The garment back with the suit in it" should be the garment bag with the suit in it. "And a the manner of his death" does not need that 'a'. "The tithing money had ready" could be the tithing money I'd had ready, as in Terry, or he'd had ready. I like this line and it's very poignant, "The symphony of life had become a flat monotone." Happy account anniversary.
This letter to yourself is brilliant. You include a few pricklies and disappointments, but then you offer wise words and encouragement. We can often be our own worst enemy. Why do we badger ourselves and nit-pick too much? Accidents happen and no amount of castigation will change that. Despite what we would like to believe we cannot control much of anything. Some of us struggle to accept this. I suppose the ability to roll with some of the inevitable punches and the attempts to be flexible will aid us in the end. Your letter is thoughtful and provoking. I believe you have an understanding of your strengths and weaknesses. Listen to those affirmations.
This is a beautiful, poignant piece. The perhaps mundane words in a journal glow with love and comfort for the young woman reading them. Do any of us ever say, face to face, everything we would like to share, teach, instill? Those words saved on paper will last far longer and with clarity than those heard and often blurred by time. Thanks for sharing and happy account anniversary.
Ah, grief. It is a pain like no other. Some might say it is a lingering ache that never fully dissolves. We miss the deceased and all the what ifs. I like the entire paragraph in which you compare grief to an unmoving, solid concrete foundation. It settles in and remains unmovable. You write the cold, hard truth. Yes, you will live with or without acceptance of death. I noticed a few spots in which words were repeated unnecessarily, but I appreciate them. It reflects real-time mourning and musing. It is a free flow of thought. "Touchs" should be spelled touches. "What kind of palliative could there" needs a verb like be. Thanks for sharing and happy account anniversary.
Ah, you paint a dismal picture here. Dog lives alone yet is still attuned to Owner's control. Dog knows no other life and he is trapped by his conditioning. His surroundings are bleak. Has he been abandoned? If so, this is sad that a canine awaits its owner's return, an owner who did not care to take his pet with him. I noticed this as I read your piece of writing. "Mouse finally rose it's head." I suggest that be changed to "mouse finally raised his head." I also spied this "are you following you'r nature". That apostrophe is not needed in the word your. Happy account anniversary.
I like this poem. It seems to be a reflection of a brilliantly beautiful moment in time. The green of the fern is eye-catching. The release is expected yet mesmerizing. I admire the final stanza and no truer words have been presented. "The human eye reaches it's limits, alas." Could we see more? Happy account anniversary.
Consider me forewarned. I shall never hire this band of sock monkeys to host a party. The idea of a stand-up comedian, a grey one at that, does sound entertaining though. At least the guys made an effort, right? Thanks for the laughs and the images now careening off each other in my mind. Sock monkeys running amuck? This is very creative. Happy account anniversary.
Wow! That was quite the surprise for Harold. He thought he had paid for an execution, but his wife outsmarted and out paid him. For seven years he believed he'd gotten away with murder. This is well written and I like the steady build up of tension. This has a great plot twist. How can a dead woman commit murder? Happy account anniversary.
This is a hauntingly sad yet beautiful story. You describe a man advanced in years and still fighting to put one step in front of the other. Many of his happy memories sustain him as he refuses to give up. The love for his wife has never wavered despite horrendous circumstances. Alzheimers is an unflinching thief. Happy account anniversary.
Well, if you intended to highlight your love of fall you succeeded. I agree with you. "Summer's as hot as a boiling pot." I like your rhyme scheme in this poem. It is not forced and reading this poetry is breezy. I like the image of silent, floating maple leaves. There is much to celebrate in autumn. Happy account anniversary.
I suppose if I was a bewildered deer viewing the destruction of my habitat I would be confused too. Yes, no one asked the animals whom lived there in the forest if it was okay to destroy the landscape. I think a deer would consider the large machinery as behemoths. You repeat that particular word many times and I wonder if you could substitute other similar words such as giants. I noticed a few things within this piece of writing. "another winter had past" should be another winter had passed. "Until he spy-ed squirrel" should be until he spied squirrel. "Deers' ears then perked up" should be deer's ears perked up. "Some pushing the trees over while other" should be others. "And having lifting it into the air" should be having lifted it into the air. "One the fifth morning" should be on the fifth morning. That entire sentence is confusing and perhaps should be shortened. "And they never asked us, Would it be ok to change it" should be and they never asked us if it would be okay to change it. I would suggest more descriptions of what and how deer felt. What were the smells? Did his heart beat faster in fear? I like your concept here. The deer is an unwilling observer. Happy account anniversary.
Whew! There is nothing that can compare to delivering a baby. It is intensely emotional and physical. It is very much a miracle that a body cannot only birth another little body, but nurture it for several months. If anything else grows in the body it is a tumour. You recount the momentous occasion vividly. Congratulation Momma. You did it.Happy account anniversary.
I'm shivering as I read this tale. You have created quite the horror story. This is a frightening scenario. Does the flooded village seek some kind of revenge, or payment? Do dark forces resent prosperity? Water can be forceful and sometimes unstoppable. Thanks for the chills.
This is a fun read with a twist. Silly tourists who would like to be frightened, or so they believe. They think they would like to see an authentic ghost, but the reality is too much. Amy does seem to love her self-appointed tour guide job. I appreciate her dramatic, one-of-a-kind ending. She sells her tours with that adage give them what they want. Kudos for your creative usage of the given prompt.
First let me say I am sorry for your loss. Anyone who has enjoyed the privilege of living with a dog understands your pain. A canine is the epitome of unconditional acceptance and love. A dog teaches us to live in the moment. Teddy made quite the impression in his short life. happy account anniversary.
What a sweet poem for your sister. Yes, motherhood is not for the faint of heart. Everyone has child-rearing opinions even those without offspring. Raising a child involves a leap of faith. The unknowns and variables are many. i like that you warned the new parent to be that her son may do his own thing. I noticed one spelling anomaly. "Breaking your planed life schedule." It should be planned. Happy account anniversary.
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