VERRY VERY VERY well done! When you meant surprise ending, you meant SURPRISE ENDING!! Well done.. good work! I have no complaints about this... very good, keep up the work!
This sounds like it could've been a book, what i mean by this is that it could've been longer. Very well done, nice descriptions, i like how you described the old man and how he looked and his actions. The ending though left me hanging... was expecting more for some reason, but nevertheless twas well done. I liked it, would i be correct in assuming that you're writing a longer version to this or thinking of modifying it to be contaim nore?
Interesting... but, the main thing that draws you into the story comes too late and is way too short... The descriptions at the start about the weather and the cottage and the surroundings the beach etc. was very nice. Simple, you didn't spend too much time on it which is a good thing in this situation. But, the only problem i saw with this was the main plot interest was the haunted cradle. You could've embelished a little bit more about the scene where the cradle was rocking. Make it a tad bit longer or add in another scene if anything. The ending was a nice touch with the crying being heard when the cradle was burned.
Twas good, but if you tweak it a little, it would be even better
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/ninja64/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/2
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.23 seconds at 8:35pm on Jul 01, 2024 via server web1.