i like this poem... :_( it makes me want to cry but... i cant because i'm surrounded by kids!
i have always tried to tell the one i love them forever and this, this is the perfect way, the way you just to put it in words. i 'm giving you a silent applause! it was great! standing ovation all the way!!!
do not feel that bad. i always am depressed and there is seriously no way to fix it at this point. the pain i feel is equal to the pain that a doctor creates when they say it won't hurt... which is a lie! as you describe that your soul is pouring out of you i say that when i cry it's happy thoughts escaping my soul. i may be a young adult but i do know what pain feels like and how it feels to lose the one you love...
NOOOOO!!!!! he's broke! now his belly will eat him from the inside out!
where was he going? where was he at? and what happened to his money :(
such sadness...
this was a cute and very beautiful story. i enjoyed that you made Thugg and his son very different and they were the only ones who used their brains to the full potential instead of sitting there. i wasasking to myself why do they have an extra `g` at the ends of their names? but, never mind i'm sure that's just your style of writing.
i know how you feel i know how exactly what you mean. this is a good poem because it symbolizes how the hman mind thinks and describes the pain and hatred that goes on in the brain of emo people. i do still dislike all of the rhyming and wish that there was less of it, one day i shall playfully ask a request for you to write a story for me :) buddy~
there's a lot of rhyming but that's OK. i suggest that next time you should ease up on the rhyming. you should do a limerick for your next poem. don't get me wrong i'm not trying to put you down, its a good poem but with to much rhyming.
this was a good story. near the end when she was saying stop talking i wonder if she was in so much pain that sjhe just wanted to die or that she just didnt want talk much. i realized that the male of the story was worried and didn't want to leave her side anyrime soon. all in all this is a good story to have
this was a great story. i liked the parts when she just freezes up and gives the Greek solider the most innocent faces in the world. she seems very attentive and the soldier seems like he doesn't care much if he rapes her or not. the ending is sad because she finds out she cant be with him any more because hes leaving while she has his baby.i think shes pregnant.
i love the imagery created in this story. it has so much feeling in it, the feelings of bravery and fear. fictious stories are the type to get anyone in the mood. this was well and nothing should be altered nor rearranged. keep trying and then one after another a great story shall unfold.
i do not understand this one. what do you mean about `the third second that you have to face`? this poem needs more imagery and more time to be written.this is very complicated to decode
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/ninjazombii
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 1:28pm on Dec 29, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
