Nicely written. I did find one misspelling "bordom" should be "boredom".
And I live with two teenagers, the only thing they read is stuff they're forced to, or the boy reads Sports Illustrated, for the most part, they have the TV on or are watching gore fest movies. Makes me worry about our art form.
I like the flow of the work, could almost see actors playing out the rolls.
The plot kept my attention and the characters were lifelike. Personally I loved the whole "army" conversation at the beginning, nice way to keep it happy until you really got into the script.
I'm one of those people that once they're about a quarter of the way in, they have to finish a piece.
(And to be honest this was the first script I've read here. You actually kept the format easy to read.)
Good article. I've been here off and on for a while, and I admit, one or two of those I have done before. Though after letting the story sit for a while I did go back and look at what the reviewers told me to see if they could enhance the piece.
I've found most of the time... Others here actually give great advice. People who feel their work is perfect really need to learn to listen to other people's advice. Will help them not only in their writing, but in life in general.
Must have gone to Reading for shopping. I know it's hell here, but didn't think literally.
Okay real response, I actually liked it. You did some great details, and the comedy was just enough to pull the edge back a little from the horror. Nicely done!
It could use more details. Describe the room a little more, what the DB looks like.
And maybe when you hint the older vampires step outside, what's the scenery like? It was very generalized.
Sorry, I grew up in Alaska, I know the northern part of the state's more barren than further south. You'd have to have an air strip for the inn if you're closer to Barrow, Closer to Cold Foot they could drive.
But it's a good start so far for the story. I look forward to reading the rest and seeing how you edit this.
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