"Pen-de-dum-poem"
Sounds a lot like I feel when I sit down and attempt to write a poem for a contest. My brain says "Pen-de-dum-poem"
"Pen-de-dum-poem"
over and over again until a bulb lites up and then, wallah
I'm finished.
Reminds me of my first days as an instructor and public speaker.
Took forever for me to get over my fear of public talking.
After several years though, it's hard to get me away from the lecturn because I seem to ramble on and on and on.
These pesty old geese can really do you a job with their spurs also.
We have one called Gertrude (naturally), and she's the boss of the
barnbard. Even the dogs keep clear of dirty girty! Don't even dare to
let the grandkids out with a sandwich. Girty sees it and it's history!
It's nice to read traditional poetry from one of the masters.
I'm still studying poetry but I can't seem to get into the
different types yet. If they don't rhyme, they don't come from my heart.
Perhaps from poets like you I can learn more.
I really enjoyed this one.
The part about the sticktalker hit home!
And, your idea is great.
How often do we truly listen?
And, do we "listen" when we read?
great concept.
I'll be back!
Oldwarrior
You're right, this is a good one!
I was special ops in the Nam and a grunt. I was career military
The big thing when I got out was,
"Who in sam hell want's to hire a retired snake eater!"
Secondly, what can you bring to my company other than how to kill someone?
I figured I always loved writing. Wrote my first SF book when I was 18 (not very good).
So, I started taking writing classes, then journalism classes, wound up as an investigative reporter, and Walla! a new career.
All it takes is, "BELIEF IN YOURSELF." This I learned.
If could take all the enemy threw at me and survive, I sure as hell could survive civilian life!
Rangers Lead the Way!
This is one of the best stories I have read in a long time and I have read lots and lots of them.
Your characterization is grand and your smooth writing style is refreshing. Your sentences seem to flow right along as if they have a mind of their own, with strong descriptive narrative and oh what a great sense of hilarity. You obiously have a great writin talent and you should capitalize on it!
Thanks for the great read!
Oldwarrior
You need to turn Alstar Kent into a Bond type book! Combining what I have read so far, it would make a great novel starting from 1939 on.
Great writing.
This is alternate history at its best!
I really enjoyed reading this. Most
people when they write alternate history they
like to go back hundreds of years, they don;t
realize that the past 60 years is a gold mine of
alternate scenarios.
Good Job
Enjoyed it.
This was superb!
The history was pure and very well written.
I am an affectionado of alternate history and you can bet I will beback soon.
Turtledove, Forstchen and Gingrich are some of my favorites.
Thanks
oldwarrior
As a newly selected member of the Rising Stars Group the following is my thoughts on your work.
General Impressions: An excellent read, worth reading again and again.
Emotional Impact: All of it was grand, the poem at the end added spice and beauty.
My favorite part: No longer corporeal, to them time held no sway for to the gods of time, forever's just a day, and patience is a lesson learned.
Suggestions for improvement: Travel would be a sub-light speeds for safety reasons (Typo: I think you meant at sub-light speeds)
Punctuation/Spelling/Grammar: Excellent.
Final Thoughts: You are now on my favorites list. Interested in co-writing a SF book or 3?
This review is my personal opinion and not meant to be derogatory in any way. As a writer I enjoy other writers pointing out boo-boo’s, offering constructive advice or giving me laudatory remarks. I hope you feel the same way.
Oldwarrior
Proud member of the NAI Group. Oldwarrior
As a newly selected member of the Rising Stars Group the following is my thoughts on your work.
General Impressions: Humorous I like it.
Emotional Impact: Story reminded me of my first trip to the Alps in Southern Germany. Awesome!
My favorite part: I watched as she blazed a trail of two crisp ski impressions, separated by the tell tale butterfly indentation of her cheeks, that led down the mountain to the waiting
Suggestions for improvement: Well written, smooth, enjoyable, no changes please.
Punctuation/Spelling/Grammar: Excellent.
Final Thoughts: Brought back warm thoughts of my days in Bad Tolz and Munich.
This review is my personal opinion and not meant to be derogatory in any way. As a writer I enjoy other writers pointing out boo-boo’s, offering constructive advice or giving me laudatory remarks. I hope you feel the same way.
Oldwarrior
Proud member of the NAI Group. Oldwarrior
Hunter’s Moon
As a newly selected member of the Rising Stars Group the following is my thoughts on your work.
General Impressions: Very enjoyable.
Emotional Impact: Like the poem says, I am much better on paper than in person.
My favorite part: Pray fingers fly where mouth is dumb.
I'll let my pencil speak for me.
Suggestions for improvement: none
Punctuation/Spelling/Grammar: Excellent
Final Thoughts: You are indeed a very good poet sir!
This review is my personal opinion and not meant to be derogatory in any way. As a writer I enjoy other writers pointing out boo-boo’s, offering constructive advice or giving me laudatory remarks. I hope you feel the same way.
Oldwarrior
Proud member of the NAI Group. Oldwarrior
General Impressions:
Emotional Impact:
My favorite part: Friendship stumbles most often on the rocks of inconvenience.
Suggestions for improvement: This was very well thought out and subjectively done.
Punctuation/Spelling/Grammar: A few minor typos.
Final Thoughts: An excellent piece of work that can be expanded on.
This review is my personal opinion and not meant to be derogatory in any way. As a writer I enjoy other writers pointing out boo-boo’s, offering constructive advice or giving me laudatory remarks. I hope you feel the same way. I am new to the site also, so, I need lots of advice.
Oldwarrior
Proud member of the NAI Group.
General Impressions:
Emotional Impact:
My favorite part: Time to be a woman but what does that mean.
Suggestions for improvement: Well done.
Punctuation/Spelling/Grammar: None
Final Thoughts: I enjoyed this poem because it literally comes from the heart of a growing young person.
This review is my personal opinion and not meant to be derogatory in any way. As a writer I enjoy other writers pointing out boo-boo’s, offering constructive advice or giving me laudatory remarks. I hope you feel the same way. I am new to the site also, so, I need lots of advice.
Oldwarrior
Proud member of the NAI Group.
Loved it!
I love history also. My major was in Roman History and my favorite period was around Arminius' time. Of course, Gaius Julius is my hero.
I write a lot of history, infact have several books out.
Some of my writings on this site are history, as much as I can get away with. I have only been a member for 3 months.
A few things you may enjoy in my port, Actium, Hitler's Daughter, Hector's Elegy, and I am working on a full length book, Glory II, about the Civil War.
Nuff said, I will be back to read ALL your history entries, ASAP
oldwarrior
Check our Meeple’s and my Civil War campfire at: http://www.Writing.Com/main/campfires.php?item_id=...
Using Meeple’s style of reviewing, the following is my thoughts on this piece of work.
General Impressions: An excellent bit of NAI story telling.
Emotional Impact: Drawn into it because of my NAI heritage.
My favorite part: His name was changed to Mother Taught Him A Lesson
Suggestions for improvement: None
Punctuation/Spelling/Grammar: Well done!
Final Thoughts: We need more good stories like this to teach us lessons.
This review is my personal opinion and not meant to be derogatory in any way. As a writer I enjoy other writers pointing out boo-boo’s, offering constructive advice or giving me laudatory remarks. I hope you feel the same way.
Oldwarrior
Proud member of the NAI Group.
First of all let me say that this was a wonderful and well written article.
In one sentence you wrote:
"I wonder if this vacancy in spiritual beliefs led to the influx of fundamentalist religions that gripped my great grandfather's generation."
The inability of the medicine men to cure the diseases brough by the white man was a shock to the Native American healers, however, they also knew they were dealing with something they had never encountered before. They still placed their trust in the Great Spirit.
In another sentence you wrote:
"I wonder, too, if some of the rules of their religion (no shaving, no cutting hair for women, no dancing, etc) had any bearing either from keeping some Native customs or completely rejecting them"
I do not believe that these rules and others have any bearing on their choices in-so-far as Native Culture is concerned. You must remember that missionaries were in many cases fanatic. As a Doctor of Divinity myself, most of these beliefs came from the Old Testament, and many were changed by their church leaders to fit their own ideals and needs. Unfortunately theology practiced by these would be ministers
is searching in a dark cellar at midnight for a black cat that isn't there. Home grown Theologians can persuade themselves of anything.
You now talk about merry old Emgland.
" I still am amazed how such a little country as England managed to have such an inflated sense of themselves to think they had a God given right to rule the world."
What you say here has a lot more meaning than you realize. My degree is in history (Roman) but I have always been fascinated by British history. Believe it or not, Britain was for centuries the most hostile nation on earth, equal to Rome in many ways. Perhaps that's because of their Viking roots. I will not say more about my English friends.
In this sentence you bring home the bacon:
"I mourn the loss of all the wisdom beaten out of children in the Indian schools, and its no wonder that the grown up children and grandchildren have not been taught."
From the time the Roman Catholic Church started converting "Heathens" in New Spain, and on a continual basis, the teachings of the Native Americans declined. As you mentioned with the Scots, the same thing applied to the NA in church schools. God forbid they talk or bring up the subject of their native beliefs. What blasphemy! Christianity is a wondrful religion, however, the way it was forced on the Native Americans (and others) was (is) wrong.
True Christians will find that Native Americans believe a lot like they do, minus Christ and the Old Testament. They just put it indefferent terms and identify with spirituality verses doctrine.
Sorry to have rambled on so much, but you essay got me started.
oldwarrior
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