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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/ozone384
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34 Public Reviews Given
34 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by Sky High Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
That was beautifully written!!
2
2
Review of Mother and Son  Open in new Window.
Review by Sky High Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
A good chap, but the region's name is spelled "H o e n n"
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3
Review by Sky High Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Freshman is one word, not two.
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4
Review by Sky High Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
When referring to food, dessert has two "S"s. Desert with one "S" refers to a dry piece of land, like the Sahara.
5
5
Review by Sky High Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Why would you want to make OWEN fatter? Isn't he already fat enough at nearly 300 pounds?
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6
Review by Sky High Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Good plot, nice grammar and spelling, and everyone's in character as much as possible. All in all, a very well-written pair of chapters! Though the writer of this chapter needs to remember to capitalize proper nouns, like names.
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7
Review by Sky High Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
Nice work! Keep up the good work, and I'll add you to my fave authors!
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8
Review by Sky High Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
"Cameron (which peole called him Camie) is a 12 year old girl who weighs just 123lbs & he's 51ft with her brown hair. Camie had a hard life as you know that he's only family member who is actually thin indeed. Every time he eats but it didn't grew him very well."

Since when does the pronoun"he" refer to a girl? Shouldn't the first sentence read: "Cameron (people called him Camie) is a 12 year old boy who weighs just 123lbs & is 51ft with brown hair."
You also might wanna watch your spelling.
But other than that, you did rather well!
Yours truly,
-T he Sky High Pokemon
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9
Review by Sky High Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (1.0)
You do know Mewthree doesn't exist, right?
10
10
Review by Sky High Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Excellent work!
11
11
Review by Sky High Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
You're doing great with this storyline! Keep it up!
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12
Review by Sky High Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (2.5)
Wouldn't it make more sense to have all {counts on fingers} 14 (all eleven male cast members+Chris and Chef) males from TDI on the choice list?
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13
Review by Sky High Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.0)
Three characters? That's it? Why not add in all 22? Then it would be fun. But right now, it's boring.
14
14
Review by Sky High Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.0)
Mind your grammer and capitalization.
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15
Review by Sky High Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Great story! keep it up!
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16
Review by Sky High Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
I loved it! Except for one small problem: You had 'Ulrich' twice, when there should be only one.
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17
Review by Sky High Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Excellent work! And for once, I managed to spell the name of XANA's pet jellyfish right!
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