Whaaa? I did not understand where she was,and what killed her .The chase was interesting, but what happened at the end.did the creature escape.From where?How did Lucy get inside the corridor in the first place.Please tell me there is a part two to this story.
I really loved your poem . it was great.i do not understand poems very much but yours seems a bit ,no,really depressing.nevertheless ,i enjoyed it and that's what matters.is it based on your life's experiences.Shouldn't you work a bit harder on your rhymes?
The idea was nice ,but the slow progress really lets my mind wander away from the story.I think the appearance of the guards should have been told at the beginning rather than in the middle of the story.It was weird how i had to alter my imagination halfway into the story.
Although the story is educational,and taught me a lesson,it wasn't as touching as i had thought it should have been.It lacks details...what was it that Sameer did that was so disrespectful? He just asked Aleena to marry him.And what had actually happened to her ?Did she leave him,or did she continue to stay with Sameer?What was she doing now? I think the ending should have been a bit more detailed.
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